The Great Balancing Act by Kelly Barnett
The majority of women with children work outside the home. Although working outside the home can be both rewarding and fulfilling for the entire family, the hectic pace can wreak havoc on the nerves. However, a few minor modifications can help integrate family life with professional endeavors.
*Plan ahead, part 1. Let’s face it, the daily life of the average working mom is filled with plenty of stressors: sibling rivalry, lost toys, ear infections, project deadlines, technology glitches, and demanding clients. Careful planning can minimize the avoidable crises like running out of toilet paper on some Tuesday night after a long day of work followed by a soccer game. Every household should maintain a surplus stock of regularly used items like diapers, medical sundries, toiletries, and cleaning products. It is also a good idea to stock a few frozen meals for emergency occasions. Run the household with the same efficiency used on the job and the overall stress level will decrease.
*Simplify. Time is the most precious asset of a working mom. Accordingly, maximize the use of this resource. Internet grocery shopping can free up an entire evening for bike riding or family game night. Online banking and automatic bill payments save both time and money, in the forms of unwritten checks and unused stamps. But there are even more subtle time savers that can add moments to the day. Our family keeps two laundry baskets in each closet so that we sort colored clothes from the whites as clothes come off. Each morning I grab a presorted basket and start the wash while we get dressed. In addition, I keep extra garbage bags in the bottom of each trash bin so that when the trash is emptied, I simply pull a new bag up to the top. There are a million efficiency tricks like these that make life flow more smoothly.
*Squeeze extra moments out of the day. Within the confines of my compact car, I carry a fully stocked diaper bag containing books, snacks, juice boxes, stickers, and of course, diapers. In addition, I keep a packed work out bag in my trunk. This allows me to squeeze in a workout over the noon hour. In the summer I keep a beach bag with fresh towels, swimsuits, sand toys, and sunscreen for the afternoons when my calendar clears up and I am able to pick up my little boy early. We can hit the beach for an hour or two without having to stop at home and gather our belongings and get dressed. Many working moms also suggest carrying reading materials with them at all times. This is a good way to turn an unexpected wait into an opportunity to brush up on professional journals or leisure reading.
*Don’t apologize for having outside obligations. Employee retention and satisfaction is critical to the success of any work place. All employees face unique obligations in addition to their jobs. Some employees have to care for aging parents, some attend school or hold second jobs, others have reservist military obligations that conflict with work, and still others have personal or health issues like attending support meetings, doctor’s appointments, or counseling. Clearly, parenting is not the only issue that must be integrated into the work place. Approach the inevitable conflicts with a clear strategy for resolution and without overly undue apology.
*Plan ahead, part 2. Realize that as a working parent, you do not have the same flexibility of letting projects languish until the last minute. Inevitably a child will spike a temperature on the same day of a major project deadline. Be vigilant about completing work ahead of schedule. Develop a “plan B”in the unlikely scenario that you will have to implement it. This may mean working with a colleague to provide cross coverage on projects. In addition, utilize technology like the internet, telephone conferences, and fax machines so that projects may be completed at home if necessary.
*Find and cultivate the best possible childcare. This is the most important suggestion of all. You will be a very ineffective employee if you are worried about the welfare of your child. Besides the original interview and research, you should periodically reassess the arrangement. Stop in at unexpected times to check up on your child, ask your child about her day, and continue to explore other child care sites to ensure that you have chosen the best possible care. Talk to your provider regularly and let her know how much you appreciate the attention that your child receives. Don’t be afraid to express either praise or tactful suggestions. Remember, paying for quality childcare is the most important bill that you will pay. Be generous and respectful to the individual who provides care to your child. Don’t try to skimp on her fees or disregard pick up times. Your goal is to create the best possible working relationship to ensure that your child receives the best care that your provider can give.
*Renegotiate both your personal and professional life. Keep an open mind about your career path. Don’t be afraid to upset the proverbial apple cart if a job isn’t working out for you and your family. Even if you are content with your current job, keep looking in the employment classifieds. There may be an even better situation than your current position. Don’t be afraid to approach your boss with a careful plan on how telecommuting or job sharing could benefit all parties. In addition, don’t be afraid to renegotiate the division of labor in your household. If you need more help with the chores, tell your spouse that you feel overwhelmed and ask for suggestions on how to lighten the load. If you can hire outside help with the housework, even just occasionally, do so. It is better deal directly with the issue of housework than to let resentment creep into your marriage.
*Get over yourself. Mom is not the only individual who can provide for a child’s needs. In fact, it may even be healthier to allow your child to cultivate bonds with other people. Remember that a mom’s job includes serving as an example to her children. Your job as both a mother and employee contributes to the greater good. Surround yourself with colleagues who are grappling with the same issues. Tap into the women’s professional organization in your field. Subscribe to Working Mother magazine. But most importantly, get over your guilt. At the end of the day, happy moms make for happy families.
