12/29/2008

Ok, so 2008 brought a lot of joy from my old job and of course being with Kevin and being engaged and whatever.....but it also brought a lot of suck.

I've been thinking with the year coming to a close that I am PSYCHED for this shit to be over. All I wanted was 2008 to be over so 2009 could start, and no one was going to be allowed to die in 2009. We all know where this is going.

My year in a nutshell:

- Family member kills himself in May.
- Leave my adopted family and come back to Ohio. Not quite the same as someone dying, because I can see them again and I just actually saw them, but it still aches and aches.
- miscarried the weekend before Thanksgiving (I can't believe I'm admitting this)
- grandmother fell and broke femur Saturday after Thanksgiving
- get text message on Christmas Eve morning. "did you hear about Morgan?" "oh god, no, what happened?" "call me". I call an old friend Emily who I have not spoken to in almost 2 years after a weird falling out and she informs me that my beloved friend Morgan was in a wreck in that treacherous ice on Tuesday night on Rt 23 between Columbus and Marion. She lost control, flew across the median, and was slammed by a semi, then continued down an embankment. She died after midnight at the hospital on Christmas Eve early morning.
http://www.marionstar.com/apps/pbcs.dll ... 0881224003

What the fuck. She modeled wedding dresses for a bridal shop in Marion. We were going to go dress shopping next month. I was going to go over and whip her up something delicious with coconut milk and curry and chicken and veggies and we were going to hang out in front of her fireplace and eat our Whole Foods cheeses. She was going to be one of my bridesmaids......I don't want someone else to take her place. I don't want a hole where she was supposed to be. I want MORGAN up there with me. What the hell, life.

P.S. oh, and my vagina is apparently falling out of my vagina.......I seem to have a cystocele. GREAT. My doctor's office wasn't open today so I'm sitting around feeling my innards pull in funny ways and freaking myself out with this thing sticking out of my hoo ha until Monday, when I will hopefully squeeze in a quick visit before going to my friend's visitation. YAY LIFE!!