Babysitting question

[PrincessFiona]

At what age do you think children are able to stay alone and also at what age do you think that they can babsit their siblings?

We paid two 13 year old sitters last weekend to watch our kids for 4 hours. Before I even walked out the door, one of the sitters dropped Zoe into the sink in our laundry room. It was an accident. She squirmed when being changed and fell in...but I nearly didn't go out...

Then, Amanda called us to tell us that Zoe had cried and cried, that the girls had gotten tired of holding her, so they'd just put her up in her bed to cry. Amanda ended up sitting upstairs in the bedroom they share and playing with her. She said she sat alone up there with Zoe all evening and no one came up to check on her.

The girls sat with Andrew, Alex and Aidan and played wii.



We've used the one main sitter before on multiple occasions (without leaving Zoe with her) and she has two babysitting *degrees* (courses through community ed) under her belt and comes from a big family. She came recommended.

There just are no older sitters...they are all to busy with their activities.

At what age is it appropriate to have the older children stay with the younger ones (obviously, we'd have to take Zoe with us).

kris

I think rather than age, it's really based on responsibility level. I babysat newborns at 12 - but when I was the mother of a newborn I thought "no way in hell!".

For kids to stay alone I'd say 11 or 12ish. For them to watch younger siblings it opens a new can of worms depending on how they interact w/the other kids.

I'm no help.

[PrincessFiona]

It's so hard to know. I think that in the state of MN you have to be 10 to legally stay home and 11 to babysit a sibling....but you're right....I babysat a newborn at 12 too...but the idea of my 12 year old staying with my 9 month old? No WAY.

kris

[Vishenka69]

I've been left alone and babysitting my (then) 5 year old niece since 11. But I still worry about leave DH home alone for a weekend. :>

[DCJenn]

I wouldn't leave Nikolai with anyone under 17. Only because I know that when I babysat, my priority was not on the kid. I mean sure I'd feed them and change them and read a book but I pretty much did it because I wasn't old enough to work at the mall.

Kris- do you have SitterCity available to you? I have had some excellent sitters through there. (None as good as Ames though...) and you can do background checks on your sitters through the site. a nice addition I thought.

Jenn

I wouldn't leave Nikolai with anyone under 17. Only because I know that when I babysat, my priority was not on the kid. I mean sure I'd feed them and change them and read a book but I pretty much did it because I wasn't old enough to work at the mall.

Alternately - I know that I got MUCH worse as a babysitter as I got older. I was all about having the responsiblity and earning the money and being into the kids from about 12 to 15. Once I started having my own social life I got a LOT more flaky about my commitments, spent more time on the phone, and watched a lot more t.v. .....

It's really a "by the kid" kind of decision.

[Michele]

I was home alone at 9 and started sitting soon after. I was a responsible nerdy kid...but like Geniv I got more distracted once I was of driving age...I agree that it's person dependent, not age dependent.

Sounds like Amanda clearly 'stepped up to plate' so to speak and was a good caregiver for Zoe. And boys can get lost in video games easily (ie and not burn down the house )...so it sounds like you've got a houseful of good kids that can almost watch themselves.

I even watched a 3 week old when I was 12! Of course, I'm sure it helped that most of my sitting was in my neighborhood and my folks were always home and the parents knew that I would have backup if I needed it.

I stayed at home with my siblings from about 14 or 15, beofre then my aunt used to sit us. I find it very hard to leave ds even with my peers because none of them have experience of children, I usually leave him with my parents because my mum is a paediatric RN and I've always felt safe. When I was over in Boston i found a great sitter through sittercity. we emailed for weeks before i came over and we met up before she baby sat ds, which she did on 2 occasions, I was a bit nervous because we were in a different country and even though we all speak english I just wanted to go through words that ds might say and the sitter mighten understand like Ribena ( a drink you dilute with water) or nappies etc, I guess i sound really over protective now!

[Rapunzel]

I don't leave my kids with anyone under the age of 15. Period.

With five kids and a good chunk of them being little I feel like we need someone who is more mature. And, even then, most older teenagers just don't cut it. The best two babysitters we've had (and, that we currently rotate through) are from large families (and, thus, used to handling multiple responsibilities at once and are not fazed by noise and mayhem). Confidence is very important as well as patience.

Anything less and I will NOT step out of the house. A lot of the time we use my husband's younger brother who is 17, has been helping out with my kids their entire lives, and is VERY mature and confident (doesn't hurt that my kids LOVE their uncle).

My oldest is fairly mature so I think that I'll start having him watch his siblings when he's maybe 13. But, if I have another baby at that point he'll be watching the older kids and I'll just take the baby with me - he won't be ready to handle all of his siblings AND a tiny baby at this point.

Anyway, as far as the two thirteen year old girls you hired, Kris. In my opinion two thirteen girls just does NOT equal one, mature, confident, patient, capable 15 or 16 year old.

[PrincessFiona]

The problem is that getting a sitter is so difficult! All of the girls older than 13 are so busy with their activities that you can never get them..and once they hit 16? Forget about it!

The 13 year olds had to be booked 2 weeks in advance and then they cancelled on the day that they were supposed to come because their basketball team got to the next level and had a tournament in the evening...so we had to switch days.....Those girls are already at the age of not really being able to commit.

I paid my way through highschool babysitting...I made more as a sitter than I would have at a part-time job. I don't know why teen girls aren't "into" that anymore....

kris

[Rapunzel]

OK, throw tomatoes at me, but I would recommend you call a local LDS ward and ask for some babysitting referrals. The only girls over the age of 14 I've ever known willing to babysit (and, were GOOD at it) were all LDS. Same goes for girls over the age of 16 willing to babysit and good at it - all Mormon. Probably that highly restrictive dating thing we have going on....

Barring that, I like Tara's idea.

[Meenah]

I always found nursing students to be good sitters. Some of the nursing assistants in the hospital are working their way through nursing school and would love to babysit. The $$ is better and tax free and they can study when everyone is asleep. The also have first aid/cpr/ skills.

[PrincessFiona]

Well...throw tomatoes at me...but...we tried out Andrew and Amanda last night. We had a neighborhood get-together (wahoo, it was so much fun!) and went about 4 houses down from ours to play 500. We took Zoe with us and left Andrew and Amanda in charge with no internet or gamecube/wii possible in our absence :>

We were gone for 3 hours and kept in phone contact. They played games, and got Alex and Aidan up into bed at 9pm like we asked and then watched tv in our room for 45 more minutes until we got home.

I felt ok because we were literally a few houses down and we could have been home in under 4 minutes flat. I couldn't have left Zoe...but....things went pretty well...and Aidan wasn't scared or upset when we left at all...I think the advantage to having sibling sitters is that they feel so comfortable with each other.

I'm still on the fence about this whole idea and will keep looking for a sitter ....


kris

[Michele]

I'm glad it worked!!!