Contention

Okay ... I need tips on how to have less contention in my house. It seems that as soon as my kids come home from school, someone starts snapping at someone else, then there is fighting, then there is crying and screaming etc. etc. I try to stay CALM but after repeatedly using asking them to stop, they just ignore me and keep bugging each other. I am ready to lock them all in different rooms until bedtime and this is supposed to be our "quality" time together!!!

I have to nag to get anything done lately, which is driving me NUTS. Anyone else out there to commiserate with or anyone with brilliant suggestions?


Robin

I know how you feel. My 1st and 2nd grader waste no time at all in going at each other -sometimes in the car on the way home from school! I think it helps that I give them a snack when we get home. They are usually hungry so it helps to tide them over til dinner. Not to mention it's harder to fight when your mouth if full! I let them watch ONE show to unwind a bit then the TV goes off and they do homework. But they sometimes get wound up and just need to be separated and I see nothing wrong with sending them to their rooms to do some independent reading until THEY decide they've calmed down enough. It usually works.

[PrincessFiona]

us too!

We've got the same kind of thing going on. Some days are better than others, that's for sure...We also do the snack after school..What I've found is that each of the kids need to engage in their own interest for awhile. Andrew likes to read, and so I send him up to his room to read 8) . Finny sits at the table and draws, and Alex plays a playmobile game on the computer.....once they have had some downtime (about an hour) they seem to do better.....During that hour, I also can check my email, fold laundry, etc....we all kind of have this coming together period...and then things run much more smoothly....

I hear you...I'm right there with you guys!

Kris

[DCJenn]

OK- not a parent, as you all well know- but...

I have to have down time when I get home from work. The lack of downtime was a huge contributing factor in the demise of my first marriage, actually. He worked 7-3 and I worked 9-5 and so by the time I would get home, he was starved for conversation and I couldn't bear the thought of even looking at another human being, let alone talking to one!

I've been this way my whole life, too. When I would get home from school, I needed to chill by myself for about a half an hour and then I'd get my snack and share my day with my mom.

So, I think it's a critical part of anyone's day- especially during transitional times.

Jenn

Thanks for the insight on giving them a break for awhile after school. I do the snack time too but then it has been straight to homework. I used to give them the down time after school but then it was such a struggle getting them focused on school again. Now I just try to get them to get it finished so they can play the rest of the evening! Hmmm ... On Friday, I totally let them do their own thing when they came home and there was still contention. I like the idea of separating them all. I did have some success with letting Tyler play on the computer downstairs, Jacob playing Nintendo upstairs and Zachary doing an art project at the kitchen table. The problem is ... Dallin has been stuck with mom all day and he wants to bug the heck out of them!!!! I am sure we will get through it all. It is just a ROYAL PAIN sometimes.

My oldest's personality is more like yours Jenn. He needs time on his own more than the other boys. Of course, he is getting older, which comes with the territory. The dreaded teen years are coming upon me much too quickly!!!!!

It is nice to know that I am not alone in the whole contention saga!!!

Thanks,
Robin