For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

[migirl]

How do you manage to get all of your kids in bed at a decent hour by yourself?

I feel like DS#2 (3 months) is starting to fall into sort of a routine and could benefit from an earlier bedtime (right now I put him to bed around 8-8:30pm, after I put DS#1 to bed). I'd like to start putting DS#2 to sleep earlier than DS#1, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do with the older one (who will be 2.5yo next month) while I'm trying to nurse and have "quiet" time with the younger one. I feel like DS#1 is too young to expect him to just sit quietly during that time, unsupervised, looking at books or something. And I know that TV would probably work, but I don't really want to go down that path just because I let him watch about a half-hour in the morning (while I get a quick shower) and then about a half-hour in the late afternoon (while I'm getting dinner ready) so I feel like that's enough.

This would be much easier (obviously) if I could rely on DH to be around for bedtime (and hopefully that will change with fellowship, but I'm not going to count on it ), but since I end up doing bedtime by myself a lot I feel like I need to figure out some kind of system that doesn't include DH.

Any ideas or suggestions? What worked for you?

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

I always put the baby to bed last so that the quiet time can be uninterrupted. We didn't do the shift to the youngest going to bed first until they were about 1 or so. I usually had to do an extra feeding at about 10 pm anyway so that the baby could hopefully make it thru till about 6 am or so, starting at 4 months on to about 9...

My kids weren't able to really sit by themselves and "look at books" without getting into trouble for 45 min until they were about 4 or so... Up until that point, I had to have them turn on Sprouts or something mild like that at night when I needed to deal with the baby uninterrupted...

To me, there was nothing more frustrating than going through the entire nursing, putting to bed, patting or whatever routine to only have a wired 3 y.o. storm in the room and tell me she's tired of looking at books or something like that. That meant I had to start over, of course...

[Deebs]

Re: For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

First, let me say I am impressed that your 3 month old going to bed that early. DS is 5 months, but still going to bed after DD because he can "only" make it 7 or 8 hours between feedings at night (and I feel so lucky for that), and I'd rather he go to bed around 9 or 10 pm so that I can get some sleep before getting up again to feed. We are often alone when I'm trying to get the baby settled down for a nap, though, and I do have one trick up my sleeve. I have a basket of special books that DD only has access to when I am nursing. She is two, and will sit with that basket of books for about 1/2 an hour. I also will pull out crayons and washable markers when I'm nursing, and those will also occupy her for quite a while. Don't have any other big tricks up my sleeve - sorry.

Re: For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

My situation is a little different because I have twin toddlers. They have different personalities - and different needs when going to sleep. I usually do it one of two ways when I'm by myself:

1) Put DS down first, simply because it doesn't take as much work! I let DD play if she's content, and I just hold DS with his paci... or hold DD with one hand while I pat DS on the back in his crib. Since DS falls asleep more quickly, then I can spend time later with my more needy daughter.

or 2) I pile them both onto our bed and nurse DD to sleep while I pat DS on the back. (DS is done nursing, but DD still needs it sometimes.) After DS falls asleep, I spend a little more time with DD.

They don't go to bed early. Their sleep schedules run late b/c late evening is sometimes the only time they have with DH.

We also have another one on the way. Like you, I'm really hoping DH will be home more next year during fellowship. Residency has worn me out!

[migirl]

Re: For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

Yes, we've been blessed with a VERY good sleeper (knock wood! ) who's been sleeping through the night consistently since about 6 weeks. If I put him down around 8:30pm, he'll sleep through until around 5:30am-ish (which is when I like to start my day anyway). So I get up to nurse him and then he falls back asleep until around 8:30am-ish.

To me, there was nothing more frustrating than going through the entire nursing, putting to bed, patting or whatever routine to only have a wired 3 y.o. storm in the room and tell me she's tired of looking at books or something like that. That meant I had to start over, of course...

See, this is what I'm afraid of. Maybe I'll take your suggestion, Peggy, and just keep putting the younger one down later for now...

Re: For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

Honestly, nothing works but TV when I have them by myself. Of course, the little one goes to bed by 6:30 so sometimes I can get away with either letting the older one sit at the table with food while I put the other one down. Sometimes I can bathe them together and get them in their pajamas at the same time, then leave Sylvia with books for the few minutes it takes me to get the baby settled in.

I learned the hard way with DD #1 not to get into lengthy bedtime battles. With Iris, I nurse her, give her a bath, put her in her bed, and walk away. I've been doing that since she was about 5 months old.

[houseelf]

Re: For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

How do you manage to get all of your kids in bed at a decent hour by yourself?

This is a HUGE issue in this household. My eight year old wants to go to bed later because he no longer needs lights out at 8. Part of the problem is that he still throroughly enjoys me reading to him. I have *such* conflicted emotions about this. I know that once his desire to have me read to him is gone, it is gone forever. At the same time, the books he wants read take at LEAST twenty minutes a night to get through a stinking chapter. (Think: Eragon, Pendragon, HP, Madame L'Engle and the like every night. Sometimes I have this inner monologue going, "Yeah, it's time to read, but I've got Dancing With the Stars on TiVo...Do we have to do this?" ).

DD is my little night owl. Left to her own devices she'd party all night. Now she "reads" (looks at) books by herself until 10 in her room. I can't MAKE her sleep. I can only make her stay in her room on her bed. Of course, I'm trying to give her what I gave DS, so her nighttime ritual entails at least three English books and one in Spanish.

Honestly, all of this wears me out and makes me bitter at times. I tell them that I get at least one day off a week. It isn't really completely off because DD still needs me to wash her hair, but I do a seriously abbreviated bedtime ritual once a week. Sometimes I place DS in charge of reading to DD, but I don't force the issue.

I'm trying not to wish this time away too much, because even though it is A LOT to have the sole responsibility for this EVERY night, I know that these kids are going to be this age for about a minute. DS is rapidly approaching an age where he's not going to want me involved in the bedtime process. It is such a mixed bag. :huh:

Sorry, this has very little bearing on what you have asked, bedtime is just a huge ordeal in our household and over the last year, it has cut deeply into my me time. I wish I could just clap my hands and say get in bed, but that isn't me.

I feel like I'm not a great housekeeper/baker/arts-and-crafts type mom. One of the main gifts that I give to them is this reading time so I feel especially compelled to keep up this unwieldy routine. Just know that I'm here to commiserate. :huh:

Kelly

[diggitydot]

Re: For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

How do you manage to get all of your kids in bed at a decent hour by yourself?

Um, I just tell them all to go to bed. My three kids are almost 13, 8 and 6 so there really isn't any big whoop to it. And lately DS has been falling asleep in the living room before dinner, which usually means we have a MAJOR growth spurt coming on. Great. :banghead:

[Amiens]

Re: For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

Lorien is now 9 months, and I have started to put her to bed sooner, so that I can have time with Reed, Emma and Brigham. When she was younger, I put her to bed last as it was easier to plop her in the swing, bouncy seat, or what not, and then tend to the other ones. If I did try to put her to bed first, then inevitably Reed would cause problems. Reed is now at the point where I can give him some board books and he will stay in his bed, while I get Lorien put to bed.

I say stick with what works.

Re: For you "single" parents of 2 or more kids...

When DD was about 8 weeks I bought Ds a book called whats the time and each page starts with

'whats the time....its 7 o clock.....time to gt up and get dress, brush our teeth etc'

Its goes through every hour, a few nights of that and DS knows that at 6 o clock its time for a bath, they both hav a bath and get ready for bed and at 7 o clock, ds climbs into bed with whatever story he has choosen, dd (since about 12 weeks) is on my knee nursing to sleep while i read the story and at the end I put dd into the cot asleep and give ds a kiss and a huggie and by 7.30 I have the evening to myself (until dd wakes for a 2 min nurse at 3am)