Bullies

I think that Flynn gave excellent advice on some other school related post around here -- check this out with your daughter's teacher(s) and see what they have to say about it. Obviously, bullying is not ok but it would be good to know to what extent and what has happened over three years. Hopefully, they can have some insight into this. I know that when my daughter gets upset about something things happen "all the time" and "forever" because it is such a huge, dominant issue for her. But, is it you older daughter -- maybe that doesn't happen as much as they get older.
I would ask what the school does when a child goes to the school nurse. At what point do they notify you of a problem? Or send a note home? At my daughter's former preschool, they would have an "incident report" when a child got hurt. That just makes sense for the parents and for the school. Maybe if they keep records, you could look back over the past few years and see how often this happened.

[Michele]

Maybe sign her up for karate lessons and let her beat them up? I don't know...I used to get picked on a fair amount in elementary school....something to boost my *physical* self esteem would have been good I think...I was always the smallest one in my class and the smartest...it kinda made me an easy target.

I do have to say that while Tae Kwon Do is usually the easiest martial art to find, I don't like their teaching methods....also all the kids I knew growing up who did this were cokcy little f-ers....and weren't even that good....their program incorporates a lot of "testing" and "passing" but I don't think the discipline is the same. I trained for 6 weeks in middle school and it wasn't very good so I quit. In college I trained Kung Fu and I really liked that but it was MUCH harder!

Either way, "typically male" sports might boost her self esteem enough that she won't let them pick on her. If she's getting picked on now, I doubt she'll ever become a bully herself...after I gained some confidence I didn't then pick on other children....I remembered how it felt...Girls are smarter about that than boys!

That's awful! I hope things get cleared up after talking to the counselor.

Michele, that's really interesting. I was picked on a lot when I was younger and I wonder if that would have helped me. I wasn't really into sports, though, so maybe they never could have gotten me to go to karate anyway.

[houseelf]

Wendy,

This breaks my heart. I don't have any advice, but I am horrified. One of the news programs here put a secret camera in the playground of a school in a very affluent neighborhood and the footage showed little kids pummeling each other. It scared the beejeebies out of me.

Best of luck solving this.

Kelly

I'd wait to talk to the guidance counselor first. That way you have more information. And if you feel it wasn't handled correctly you should talk to the principal -- part of his job is discussing (and hopefully resolving!) parent concerns.

I attended private school for a few years with public on either side. The harder transition was going from private to starting public high school. I think it depends on the grade year/age somewhat. I think the transition to HS would have been a little hard anyway -- several junior highs fed into the high school and we were the first class of 9th graders (the school had been 10-12 previously). When I switched to private school, I had visited a few times, had participated in a school activity and got to meet some of my classmates -- that helped a lot.

I hear you about the taxes. We've had that converstation too although I think that property taxes in your area are higher than they are here.

[Meenah]

I loved the Friend's school. My daughter graduated from the George School, a quaker prep school not far from you. She had an unbelievable education. It was worth the money.
Luanne