What is your....

[houseelf]

What is your current parenting dilemna?

Right now I am struggling with how much freedom to give my five year old. We live in a townhome next to a park and he wants to play outside all the time. (He is my son afterall). Meanwhile, I have a baby sleeping or something that needs to be done. I'm just not comfortable allowing him to play outside by himself. The few times that I've allowed him out onto our immediate yard, I am practically hyperventilating and checking on him every two minutes. I'm so absorbed with checking on him, I might as well be outside with him anyway. We live in a scary world. Still, I want him to have some freedom and independence. I'm struggling with how much to give.

With DD, I'm struggling to maintain a milk supply and keep her interested in nursing. I'd like to take her to a year, but she is starting to prefer the ease of the bottle. We've worked through a nursing strike that lasted for several days, but things just aren't as easy as they were with my son.

What's the latest parenting adventures in your neck of the woods?

Kelly

[PrincessFiona]

I feel blessed right now that my biggest parenting dilemna is getting my 18 month old to WEAN. This year has presented so many challenges for my oldest child (with the teasing, braces, physical therapy and orthotics) that I'll take the weaning issue over everything else any day. Andrew seems to have settled into a very happy routine now that he has his orthodontic braces and shoe inserts. He's kind of found his 'stride' this last part of the year and is more relaxed and.....really doing very very well.

Amanda is growing up and helps out so much more around the house. The sassiness is also finally under control.

Alex is finally reading....and is asleep every night by 8pm

Did I just hijack your thread about what is going right in our lives right now? I'm just relieved to have normalcy creeping in right now!

I also struggle though, Kelly with how much to allow the kids...my big dilemna about freedom is whether or not to let Amanda go to our neighborhood park by herself. It is 2 blocks from our house and I have let her go...then changed my mind the next day...then let her go the next day...then regretted it and changed my mind again.

kris

[PrincessFiona]

omg...I'm such a liar. I just talked to Thomas and was telling him how great it felt to be able to write that I really didn't feel like I was having any parenting issues right now...and his response "yah, which is why you nag at me every night about the kid's schools and whether or not they shoudl go to the charter school, montessori school, be homeschooled or stay put" Apparently, I have so many issues that even I can't keep track of them all.

DS 1 has yet to learn that weddings are NOT outside voice events.

DS 2 is still waking up at the crack of dawn for nursing.

DS 1 has begun whapping his brother and shoving him.

DS 2 has reached the restraining age for diaper changes.

DS 2 is lippy.

DS 1 is clingy.

[Meenah]

We are all OK right now, this week!!! Caroline is finishing up school in Colorado and will be home for 8 weeks this summer. She loves Boulder. Amy is working and finally decided to go back to school, she took some time off . She is applying to Nursing school. I have also applied to graduate school, so it looks like I will be in school with my girls.
Luanne

I just hijacked the thread too.

Kelly,
you can never be too safe as far as I am concerned. I never let the girls outside at age 5 without me, unless they were in the fenced back yard and I could see and hear them from the window. The worry never goes away.

[Sheherezade]

Here it is all nagging all the time these days. We are struggling with creating individual responsibility in our kids - as in, you have an oral report Friday, perhaps you'd like to read the book???? DS is bright, messy and disorganized; I am trying to help him develop better habits. DD is borderline OCD . She is 5, keeps a datebook and freaks out entirely over some things. We are working on the concept of "mellowing out" there . There are ongoing adjustment to the new place issues and the never-ending sibling rivalry.

As for the spending time alone outside the home unsupervised, I keep moving up the age at which that will be "ok". Its 10 now. They do play outside alone with me peeking out the window from time to time. I was so happy to move to an area in which I didn't have to worry about the pedophile that was hanging around our kid's school in Boston (I kid you not - that's a note home you don't want to get! ) Apparently, you still have to be careful. A five year old was being lured by a bunch of guys in a truck from her own yard a town away from here - luckily the babysitter shoed them away and reported it. We got *that* note home from the school district a few months ago. I guess you always have to be careful and teach your children good habits.

I hover over my five year old too...I think that's normal.

[Rapunzel]

Biggest parenting dilemmas at the moment?

Hmmmm.....

- Helping Sophia adjust to growing up. She is so used to being the baby that she's having a hard time with this pregnancy. Additionally, her best friend just moved away and she's having problems with her siblings letting her play with them.

- Convincing Alex to stop TEASING his sisters. He's not mean - he just knows all of their "buttons" and pushes them relentlessly.

- Getting Zoe to stick up for herself (she even lets Sophia boss her around right now ) and to work on her attention span and ability to focus on a task.

- Convincing Madeline that she doesn't have to be the perfect child and that she doesn't have to lie if she's made a mistake (ie to keep her rep "perfect" so to speak).

- And, finally, figuring out how to get Eleanor (currently in utero) to stop partying all night and sleeping all day. Who does she think she is keeping her mother awake all night with that wildness??? Seriously, she's destroying my major organs with this crazy dancing!

Oh boy, years of therapy await us all!

Jennifer

[Rapunzel]

On a side note regarding what Angie said: I've decided I'm going to the local police station in the next few days to get the registered sex offenders list for my city (Boston) because some things have happened recently to get my husband and I really on edge about this (some CREEPY stuff for sure). I would never, ever allow my children at their present ages to play outside unsupervised (oldest is 8 1/2) - especially in our decidedly urban neighborhood. However, if I lived in a suburban setting with a nice, high fence I would definitely let the older three play in our fenced yard lightly supervised. I think it really depends upon the level of safety of the yard and the maturity level of the kids. While I think the kids have a high maturity level I really don't trust the safety of my yard or neighborhood.

Jennifer

[mommax3]

I would let a five year old play alone in a fenced in backyard (TALL fence) if I could hear/see them from a window. That's it. So no, you aren't hovering.

Biggest parenting dilemmas......

My youngest (age 3 years and almost eight months) is still pooping in his pants and it is driving me NUTS!!!! I just had to clean up a big old blow out if you can't tell. When I am teaching, he is in an after-care type situation with the preschoolers who go to that school....as the afternoon wears on and the lower primary grades are dismissed, all the kids at aftercare go outside to play. So not much structure.....and that seems to be when he needs to be taken to the potty. I can't wait until school is out so I can really be consistent with him. 22 more days..... He is also very very bossy, which is sometimes funny (because of his brothers' reactions) but we need to work on that behavior. On the bright side, his eating habits have really improved, which is wonderful.

My oldest still struggles with personal responsibility and listening at school, although he has made great strides this year. My middle son is doing great, but he has turned into quite a whiner/wheedler and I am getting pretty sick of it!

Really, having enough patience with all three of them is probably my biggest issue. After hearing "Mrs. Richardson, Mrs. Richardson......." all afternoon at school, I have very little left when I get home, which is a problem. I don't know how full time teachers with kids do it, honestly. I am tapped out after just half a day. It isn't the questions themselves that do it, it is the neediness. I am losing my ability to nurture......I want to be the needy one for a change. Fat chance of that, though.

Sally

[HeartRN]

I'm sure I will hover, too! I am so watchful, and yet this little 18 month old manages to escape me when I let her down for just a short moment. My heart has already skipped a beat once or twice when I thought I'd lost her, she's so fast

Our biggest challenges (immediate) are health related. We go to the ENT this week, she's on her 6th (?) antibiotic for ear infections since mid Feb....and today, I got a call that her foot got crushed by some toy at daycare It's big and purple, but she's bearing weight. Unfortunately, my day off tomorrow will be spent at the ped and then getting an x-ray. Hopefully there's no break....*sigh*

Otherwise, it's just the whole toddler independence thing...."I'm a baby v. I'm a big girl"....just typical

[KCwife]

In Kansas the registered sex offender list is available on the internet. There is a convicted child molester two blocks away. My kids, regardless of where they are, are never unsupervised. We live two houses from the school, and my 8yo asked when she can go to school by herself, I told her when she is old enough to drive! My DH thinks I am nuts, but I STILL have a baby monitor in their room, and I make the dog sleep in there for extra insurance....does that make me nuts?!?!

Sorry, I totally hijacked your thread!

[Cumberland]

http://www.criminalcheck.com/

Try this site for the sex offender list by zip code.

[Rapunzel]

Yeah, unfortunately Massachusetts is one of those states that makes it as difficult as possible to access its sex offender registry. You have to go to a local police station and apply for a list based upon certain criteria and then you have to wait to receive the information. We've had problems in my neighborhood in the last couple of years with sex offenders who are on the list working near elementary schools and hovering around them for months before the police will contact local school officials and say, "Oh, by the way...."

Soooooo, I fully expect to get blown off by the local police station but if I have to be persistant so be it.... According to the Massachusetts website that tells you how to go about the arduous process of receiving the information there are somewhere towards 200 registered sex offenders in Boston. Comforting, eh?

I much prefer the way they do it in Texas: Online access according to address or zipcode with immediate information on the conviction history WITH a current picture of the offender. Much easier access.

Anyway, I guess I'm totally hijacking the thread now.... Sorry.

Jennifer

hmm. I could have sworn I saw a federal link somewhere...hold on...

http://www.fbi.gov/hq/cid/cac/states.htm

[Rapunzel]

It takes you to the Massachusetts website where it is explained you have to go to a local police station to fill out the required paperwork to apply for a list based upon certain criteria. Unfortunately, there's no online access to the registry for that particular state.

Thank you so much for posting those websites, though. It appears that many of the other states do have registries accessible from their internet sites - so it's EXTREMELY helpful for anyone in those states!

Jennifer