the monkey

[rainbabies]

> >A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
> > he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs
> > some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes
> > and eats them. He then jumps onto the pool table and grabs one of the
> > billiard balls. To everyone's amazement, he sticks it in his mouth, and
> > somehow swallows it whole.
> >
> > The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
> > did?"
> >
> > "No, what?"
> >
> > "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!"
> >
> > "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything
> > in sight. Sorry! I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
> >
> > The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey
> > ate and leaves.
> >
> > Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with
> > him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
> > again.
> >
> > While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
> > cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and
> > eats it.
> >
> > Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls
> > it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your
> > monkey did now?"
> >
> > "No, what?" replied the man.
> >
> > "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled
> > them out, and ate them!" said the bartender.
> >
> > "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats
> > everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he
> > measures everything first."