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Internship -- Barely hanging in there Part II

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  • Internship -- Barely hanging in there Part II

    I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving!

    I never properly introduced myself. Shamefully, my first post was more a panicky, whiny diary-type entry instead of giving a bit of info about myself.

    I was born and raised in Seattle. I'm in grad school in Chicago working on my PhD, where my husband (he followed me!) is now an intern in Anesthesiology. He's German, and we met when I was in Germany for a summer visiting friends and my host family from my high school year abroad.

    While my husband (boyfriend at the time) was in med school, we had a long distance relationship--at the very beginning, between Seattle and Germany! That's a nine-hour time difference! Call me a masochist, but at the time I loved that even though we saw each other at most 4 times/year for two weeks stints during school breaks, when we weren't together, I could focus on college, family and friendships. Granted, it was painful to have to separate after our visits, but we both just knew we'd eventually get married and either live in the US or in Germany. We were lucky that we were/are both flexible language-wise, since we're fluent in each other's languages and cultures. In the end, compensation is much better in the US and I would have had a more difficult time getting a job in Germany in my field. At least we THOUGHT it would be easier to live and work in the US!!! We were so naive!

    During the match process we were both stressed out to the max. He had ALL his German boards, his American USMLEs, AND the Greencard process AT THE SAME TIME! Plus the application process, interviews all over the US, and me being an overbearing witch, pushing and pushing for Chicago, even though it was pretty much all left to luck. I couldn't bear to think about having a long distance marriage after all those years apart!!! I actually started to lose hair from all the stress.

    Now we're both in Chicago after 6 years of hell (but some really nice parts too!), and I still moan about his call days. I guess it's a remnant of feeling horrible whenever we had to split after our visits when we were long distance. In the end, we've just got some small, rough patches, but I think we are extremely lucky people. After the last few years of hurdle after hurdle, we're doing ok. We have no debt (university in Germany is free, and I have a fellowship) but of course, that's not to say that we're rolling in money! We've got a dinky apartment, an old car and a tight budget and that's what keeps us above water

    So if there's anyone out there in a long distance relationship with someone in medicine, going through the visa and Greencard stuff, the MATCH, and even losing hair, perhaps I can impart some advice!

    Take care everyone!
    Alison
    married to an anesthesia attending
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