Women gives birth at 60

[Flynn]

I don't buy the idea of being too old to parent. I think there are a huge number of grandparents who give their grandchildren happy and fulfilled lives (in the instance where they have to be the guardians).
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Yes but in this case the grandparents "step up." Ma and Paw Grandparent don't go to the sperm bank at 60 and say "give me the good stuff" to GIVE BIRTH. Very different situations IMO.

When I read they had a 6 year old I went ! That clinched it for me. They are nuts and I feel sorry for the kids.

[alison]

I suppose I have a harder time with poor people who make the conscious decision to have children, especially when they do not have the means to raise their children in a healthy/loving/caring environment.

[pstone]

I suppose I have a harder time with poor people who make the conscious decision to have children, especially when they do not have the means to raise their children in a healthy/loving/caring environment.

You are kidding right?
As I see it, the people that have the most problem with loving/caring are more often the 'rich'

selfish, selfish, selfish....I want what I want and I want it now.

[spotty_dog]

I suppose I have a harder time with poor people who make the conscious decision to have children, especially when they do not have the means to raise their children in a healthy/loving/caring environment.

I agree that there are people in the lower rungs of society that have to work so hard to make ends meet that they cannot give their children enough of their time, and/or they can't afford quality day care and health care. So should the poor be sterilized? Or should the government provide help in the form of food and health care and quality day care and/or a stipend for the caregiving mother, so that the children can be healthy and safe?

[Vanquisher]

Deleted because I am emotional about the poor young mother thing.

I don't buy the idea of being too old to parent. I think there are a huge number of grandparents who give their grandchildren happy and fulfilled lives (in the instance where they have to be the guardians).
.

Yes but in this case the grandparents "step up." Ma and Paw Grandparent don't go to the sperm bank at 60 and say "give me the good stuff" to GIVE BIRTH. Very different situations IMO.

When I wrote of my grandma caring for me, I was just thinking of her ability to keep up with the rigeurs of CARING for a child, not BIRTHING one. I hadn't even thought of the birthing part Yeah, even though I haven't experienced birth, I can imagine it takes its toll on a woman's body, so I agree with ya'll. Too bad they can't adopt.

Even at 32 I have noticed that I am slowing down in my running, but honestly I feel younger than ever. I guess that the aging of the body and mind and heart (meaning zest for life) move at different rates.

[alison]

I saw your post, Heidi. I definitely see your point, and I know that I offended you deeply.

I see teenage girls on the bus almost every morning, getting on at Cabrini Green, feeding their kids Cheetos and Mountain Dew for breakfast, and this is the perspective I was trying to get at. If a 60 year old mother can give, even for 10 years, what you have given your kids, then my question is, is it so bad?

(And now I will stay out of the debate room - I truly did not mean to offend anyone, although it looks like I did....)

[Rapunzel]

I see an enormous difference in how my body handled pregnancy in my early 20's compared to now, in my early 30's! The rigors of breastfeeding and taking care of a newborn are markedly more challenging the older I get as well.

I think I'm different in this regard because I found my pregnancies and subsequent deliveries easier in my thirties than my twenties. I'm 38 and just feel physically better than I did at 28. :huh:

That's because you are a FREAK!!!



No, really I'm quite jealous!!!

[diggitydot]

My MIL had her last child when she was 50. No, it isn't quite the same as a 60 y/o having twins, but still...I've witnessed the ramifications of her actions, first hand.

My now 9 y/o SIL is...um...how should I put this? Well, there's really only one way to put it...she's a total bitch. MIL has no "energy" to deal with or parent SIL so SIL is allowed to bully MIL into letting her do whatever she wants. And MIL lets it happen because it's just "too tiring" dealing with SIL. WTF? This 9 y/o child is already a master manipulator who can cry at the drop of a hat. Good goin' on that one, Ma!

MIL has even told us that we'll be paying for SIL's college education. (Even though MIL never paid a penny for DH's.) And that was told, not asked. Eh, whatever. It's not as if she'll likely go to college, even if it were paid for. The way she's going we're more likely to see her on a pole than in a desk.

My vote is that having children well past the childbearing years is a BAD idea. For many reasons.

If a 60 year old mother can give, even for 10 years, what you have given your kids, then my question is, is it so bad?

Sadly I feel that it IS so bad. While the early years are indeed crucial in making a self-confident, secure person, a good start could be derailed by a motherless adolescence. These things happen sometimes - of course, but setting a kid up for what is almost a guarantee of an "early" loss of a parent is just selfish, IMO.

Of course there are some poor young women who have no business having children. But some of these women are, or grow into, wonderful mothers. They also have the opportunity (granted, not everyone takes it) to be present well into their children's adult lives.

I saw an interview with the mother where she was talking about older folks who need someone to love and she said something along the lines of "why get a dog when you can have a baby?"

[SuzySunshine]

I saw an interview with the mother where she was talking about older folks who need someone to love and she said something along the lines of "why get a dog when you can have a baby?"

:huh: Yeh, b/c the average dog lives 14 years and the average person lives 80+ - what is UP with people?

[DCJenn]

You know, we mostly definitely took our ages into consideration when we adopted Nikolai- I have NO doubt I'd be a totally different kind of parent if I were 30 instead of 40. I don't know if I would be better but definitely different.

But- we're doing potty training boot camp this weekend and I told Nikolai part of the reason why is because I'm old, tired and I really am just done with the poo.

I think there are ramifications that are VERY long-term that these people haven't even thought about.

My uncle was 48 when my cousin was born and he just is physically incapable of doing much with him- meanwhile when we were little, the same uncle was the one playing wiffle ball for hours in the yard.

and, let's not forget the new information about schizophrenia and autism and older fathers....

Jenn

I think late 30's / early 40's are a very different thing than staring off at 60. Especially for adoption. The time that you (Jenn) adopted is an age at which a financial stability is available where most cannot / could not afford to take someone into their home.

[DCJenn]

Oh, definitely. My lack 'o point was that I can't even imagine having to tackle issues like potty training when I was 63!! Good God.

Jenn