A month till boards..

Okay, now its officially a month until the step 1 board exam for my sweetie.. except he's acting more like Mr.Crabbypants..
Will this month go by fast?? In a way I hope so. We planned a trip for after the exam so we can just get away for a week since we will not be seeing each other much during "crunch" time. He already gets up at 7 am and studies till about 8 or 9 pm!! But that is with breaks, lunch and dinner..
I just now need to not stress over his stuff because there really isn't anything I can do but be there for him and stand by, right??
Lots of YOGA, lol.. getting in shape for our trip so that will keep me busy and will reduce my stress actually.. Its day by day for me now..
Any other advice you can offer me??
Also, during our trip I'm actually going to meet part of his family for the first time. Since they are out of state its hard, so I'm so excited!!
Can I expect to not see or hear from him often??
stress levels are high..

[migirl]

Planning to not see too much of him is probably good. I was living halfway across the country from my (now) husband when he was studying for Step 1, and I remember his study schedule being somewhat similar (something like 8 hours a day, I think). Even if I had been around I probably wouldn't have seen too much of him anyway... It sounds like you have a good plan for keeping yourself busy, and it's only for a month. Maybe you can make plans to have certain meals together (i.e., dinner every night, or a few times a week, or whatever) so you can still connect during this time while not intruding too much into his study schedule? Even though we were long-distance, what worked for us was having a set schedule for phone calls. Since we both knew that we were going to talk at a certain time on certain days, we were both able to plan our schedules accordingly and he didn't have to feel like it was taking away from his studies. Good luck.

[Flynn]

Yeah, I would "second" the idea of making dates that are short but PLANNED. Your stress will lessen, he will benefit from that, and he also needs to know that your life as a couple is not always about HIM despite this important test. There will be many more tests, applications etc. This is just ONE step in a very long process and while it's great he wants to take things so seriously, he can't just expect you to wait by the phone for a month while he studies.

With that being said though, I wouldn't expect to see him more than twice a week. See if he can plan to see you for dinner or breakfast. Whenever he starts getting brain dead he should take a break anyway.

Pace yourself. If you stay with him, this "step" in his training will seem like nothing in a couple of years.
You will giggle that you thought seeing him twice a week was bad!

[Auspicious]

35 days and counting till Step 1 here. When I first read your post I thought Wow, 7am to 9pm, why isn't my FH studying that much? And then I realized, Oh wait, I guess he is. Our current routine is that he's taking a Kaplan class that starts at 7am, so he's gone when I get up now. When I come home from work he emerges from the office to say hello and then disappears again until I call him to dinner, then we eat and he does the dishes and then he goes back in there for awhile longer.

FH has had a really rough spring with his family. The short version of the story is that his mom had a cluster of small strokes and needed to be moved to a nursing home; his parents were in the middle of a really nasty divorce at the time, which caused a lot of legal complications; it looks like another relative managed to pilfer a fair amount of money off of his impaired mom--it's been a real legal, emotional, and logistical struggle.

At any rate, I think all this has definitely affected his (and my) approach to and perspective on the boards this year. I think the boards are kind of a relief in comparison right now--at least he has control over what happens in this case, and his hard work will go into accomplishing something for his future, rather than just damage control. He's kind of glad to seal himself up in a room and study test questions at this point.

After the boards we're going to go to IL to get some wedding details nailed down--photographer, rehearsal dinner, etc. He may do something fun on his own after that before he starts his rotations, but I'm not really going to have any spare days off of work to go with him. Maybe he'll just hang out--I feel kind of bad we don't have something better planned. Between restrictions on our time, money, and calories, I've kind of been thinking of this as The Spring Where We Don't Get to Have Any Fun, but I guess when I think about it we've managed to squeeze a few moments of amusement in there.

[samssugarmomma]

We are about 23 days from the step 1 here!

There is a lot of QBank-ing going on at our house!

DH doesn't usually get too cranky or withdrawn - he gets kind of annoying though - like asking the same question five times in a row and not listening to the answer!

We were planning a weekend to San Antonio to celebrate but that has turned into a camping trip to Enchanted Rock which is outside of Austin. We wanted to take the 'kids' (our two dogs).

Whoops! I'm supposed to be in a meeting right now! 8O

Thanks guys..
we usually dont even get together for meals.. that is why its hard. I live about 20 miles away from him. But he knows I would come over there in a heartbeat.
This is why I get frustrated.. I'm not a pushy person so I don't push the topic of us seeing each other all the time because I don't want to seem pushy and get him distracted. He's very focused and somewhat compulsive. Because he wants to get into radiology..
But sometimes I feel like there is really nothing I can do..

[Auspicious]

It is harder when you don't live together. We didn't live together when he was writing his PhD thesis, and I was unable to make it though that process without throwing a big pouty tantrum--at a bus stop, no less--about him not making time for me. I feel your pain. It's hard to leave them alone even when you know that's what they need.

[twinsmom]

One sure fire way that I found to see the hubby right during board exam study stress is... have twins 3 days before the test . When DH went through his study fiasco for Step one, we thought the twins would be born almost two months after, so we had a little get away planned after his exam, then finish getting the house ready for our little arrivals... well, they had their own little agends... . The monday before he was supposed to take them (on Thursday), I went into the hospital (from work, telling everyone I would be back by noon...) just to get a few little things checked out. When they examined me, they said, "you aren't going anywhere, you are in labor!!" To which I replied, "I can't have these babies before Thursday 8O !!!"
Luckily dh was at the library right by the hospital, so he came rushing over. They tried all day to stop the labor (with magnesium, and a slu of other injections that I don't ever care to repeat in this lifetime!!). I stayed at the hospital... while he returned to the library to study some more (to his credit, he did offer to stay with me, but I knew he would be climbing the walls if he didn't get at least a little bit more study in, so I made him go back and study). I called him at 8:30 that night to tell him that the drugs didn't work, and our babies decided they sick of waiting any longer, so he runs back over and we have two babies at 11:30 that night.
He made it home around 2:30 in the morning, then for the next three days was in a whirlwind of caring for two premie infants and trying to get the last bit of study time eeked out (the hospital staff let him us one of their rooms to study, and then he would take his breaks to come and eat and hold the babies).
Needless to say, it was one for the record books!! He is still introduced at school meetings/assemblies as "the guy who had twins born 3 days before the boards"
Oh, the fun times of medical training just don't quit!!! Good luck with making it through this not-so-fun time of training!!!

Jen B.

that story just gets me.. I could not even imagine!!
Thanks for the words of encouragement.. I'm not sure why its all of a sudden getting to me.. This usually happens after we spend some quality time together. Like this past weekend. I don't think we let go of each other all weekend.. Its like why can't we have that ALL the time..

Wow, I feel your pain guys. My hubby takes his step 1 Boards on June 22nd. Today was his last day of classes for his 2nd year and he has his final exam on Friday. Then he'll be continuing to study for the boards and do his Q-bank thingy every night. I've already had it though. I'm aggravated beyond reason at this point. We have three kids (ages 9,8, and 5) and I'm working full-time. I just feel so wiped out at the end of the day and then knowing that I have to be in charge of getting the kids fed, cleaned up, facilitating homework time, and then putting them to bed can be a daunting task. I'm only 30 and I feel SO STINKIN' OLD!! Besides that, we have ZERO $$$! This sucks.

June 23 is the big day for my husband. Right now he is in the middle of finals, so his study schedule is incredible. Usually when he has tests I leave town and go visit my parents who live just a few hours away. He can get pretty cranky and to be honest, so can I . So about two weeks before the boards, I'm getting out of here!! I'm planning a trip out west with another boards-widow 8) . I think DH will have a much easier time studying with me not here, and I will have much more fun not tip-toeing around, something it seems I always end up doing and is the source of many arguements (why does it always seem we have a huge arguement the night before a test???). Anyway, I agree that setting dates is probably a good idea, but it doesn't work for us. So many times around test time I've asked DH what time he wants to eat, I have dinner ready at that time, and I end up waiting for him...up to an hour! I get so mad , I've just stopped trying. I guess I am expecting boards crunch time to be very similar, if not worse, a major motivator to get myself out of here. So I will be very happy when its all over, but we will both have just a brief little time before rounds start, so no fabulous vacation for us. He scheduled his boards for the last possible date. Rounds start three days later. He is crazy, in my opinion.

[peggyfromwastate]

One sure fire way that I found to see the hubby right during board exam study stress is... have twins 3 days before the test .
Jen B.

I love this story!!! I can not even imagine. I will keep it in mind next year when my dh is studying for the Step 1. It can always be worse, can't it? Hoorah for him for staying with you at all in the hospital! I know too many men who would just stay home and study!

I'm curious about the Q-bank thing that everyone is talking about--- Is that the Kaplan program that costs about $1500? 8O DH told me about that one... Do I need to overhaul our budget??? Take out a home equity loan??? How does one do it all???

[mommax3]

We had our first baby at the end of second year, too....two weeks before finals and about six weeks before boards. I honestly don't remember him studying more than usual (although I WAS a little preoccupied! ) but as soon as school was out, he just spent all day studying rather than going to class. He had some review books he used, but he didn't take any courses.

Good luck.......it is the first of many, many tests.....your SOs will learn to take them in stride. This first one is a doozy, though!

Sally

I'm curious about the Q-bank thing that everyone is talking about--- Is that the Kaplan program that costs about $1500? 8O DH told me about that one... Do I need to overhaul our budget??? Take out a home equity loan??? How does one do it all???

I can't remember how much the Q-bank cost but it doesn't stick out in my mind as a huge expense. I think the Kaplan depends on your DH and how he studies for and takes exams. My DH did not use Kaplan for any of the Board exams but he did for the MCAT. He felt like a lot of the value in that was helping him know how to take a test and get over some test anxiety (more than the content). But they do organize the content and what to study for and that can really help.
One expense to plan for is the test itself. Step III was around $600, I think. But since he military, maybe its reimbursed?

[samssugarmomma]

I don't think that QBank is related to the Kaplan class because Sam is using it and he is not taking the Kaplan class. I think that QBank is a seperate service and you can get different types of memberships - six months for a certain amount and three months for a certain amount. We are lucky that DH's school provides QBank to all of the 2nd years for free for three months! Yay! Finally the school gives something back!!

Sam is also taking a review class that is taught by a teacher or resident or something at his school. I think it is called "What you need to know" or something like that and the format is exactly how he learns.

I'm ready for the boards to be OVER because the way Sam studies is to talk about things. I am so tired of hearing "Did you know <insert random medical realated topic>" or even worse "Do you know why <insert more random medical topics>" - especially when he calls me at work to tell me!!