Should I change my name?

[Vishenka69]

When we got married (3.5 years ago), I was too lazy to go through the paperwork to change my name. Now our passports are up for renewal and we'll most likely be moving to a different state in the summer, so I'll have to get a new driver's liscense and passport anyway. Should I change my name now, years after we already got married or just keep my maiden name? I don't have any attachments to my maiden name and don't have any political convictions (i.e. I know who I am and not afraid to loose "me"). DH doesn't really care at this point. Whould you change it years later? Is it worth it?

[Flynn]

For me personally, I would change my name for my kids.

I have a close friend who did not change her name for professional reasons and it's a big pain to travel these days without her spouse and WITH her children since she has a different last name than they do.

I completely understand that it is a personal choice and keeping their maiden name is "the right" decision for some. I didn't feel THAT strongly about it and then I heard some horror stories from my friend and that was that.

[DCJenn]

I went w/ "Hussey".

'nuf said.

and that particular name is the last name of the man who was married to his mother at the time of his adoption. He could have had his birth mother's maiden name, her married name (which was actually the one of the original birth certificate) or the birth fathers last name. I could have kept my maiden name or my former last name...

Needless to say, I'm all for whatever is easier for you.

Jenn

[Vanquisher]

It's up to you, of course, but I agree with Flynn.

But, I went from a ho-hum last name to one that means "The Lovers." So, how cool is that? Do you like how your name looks and sounds better one way or the other? How do you feel about hyphenating your kids' names?

[Vishenka69]

Hyphenating is not an option, his name is way too long and complicated on it's own. I really don't mind how his name sounds and don't think it's better or worse than mine. I didn't change it right away only due to sheer lazyness. The idea of spending a whole day in SS office, then a whole day in DMV then missing a vacation because the passport didn't arrive in time just wasn't worth it. But I think moving forward (mortgage, kids, etc.) it might be easier to have the same name.

My mom never changed her name, so it didn't feel weird for me to have my own name. She didn't change it because my dad's name is very Jewish and hers (and mine) are more Ukrainian sounding.

[Tenacious_D]

I agree with Flynn. If you are NOT totally against his name and not overly attached to yours it may be easier when kids come around. For me it was very necessary because we are different races and half the time we travel people question that we are married until they see the passports.

[Ravenclaw]

Vishenka, I was too lazy to change mine too but am planning on doing it when we move. It just seems daunting.
I vote to change it for the reason Flynn mentioned and some other similar ones that I've heard.

If you want to, it sounds like a good transition time with needing to get new documents. The kid angle is something to consider. I don't think it is too much a hassle for people I know with different last names but I didn't consider the travel.

But like Lily said, whatever pleases you.

[Stella]

If you are going to go through the hassle anyway and it doesn't bother you in any way, I'd say do it.

[Auspicious]

I say keep it. For myself I was about 52% in favor of changing my name and about 48% in favor of keeping it. I changed mine, but that forty-eight percent gets a vicarious thrill when other people keep theirs.

There were only a few things that had to be pried from my little hands at the time I got married, but my old name was one of them.

(For me the tipping factors were that I wanted the same last name as my kids and my kids to have the same last name as their father and my husband declined to change his. And also that I liked my new last name a little better than my old one--easier to spell, nicer sounding, etc.)

I changed mine. As with you - I didn't have a paricular connection to my maiden name, but my choice was mainly b/c I wanted to have a "family name" that was shared w/my children. I figured that it was likely I wouldn't physically match my kids, so wanted to have that to tie us together to the outside world.

If you avoided it out of laziness, then this is a good time to do it if you ever intend too. I've heard it only gets harder and more complicated if you were to decide to change it after the mortage, etc. ... so I'd say now or never.

[Momo]

I haven't changed mine for the same reasons you didn't. Here I am 3 kids later...I haven't had any issues w/ the fact that DH & the kids have a different last name than mine. I am probably gonna change it soon just to make things easier.

[alison]

My mom kept her maiden name, and I have her last name. My brother also has my mom's maiden name. In the end, I don't feel any less or any more of a family, just because we all don't share the same name (my dad has his name). When dh and I got married, there was no question that I would keep my name. I don't know what we'll do about kids, but who says they can't both have the mom's last name? Nietzsche had a point about the matrilineal line... that it's the only "sure" one.

[Vishenka69]

Since both names are Eastern European, I'm not winning anything by either keeping or changing. They're both hard to pronounce and get messed up all the time. I'm most likely 98% going to do it, since at this point there's no extra work involved (I can't believe how lazy I am).

Funny how nobody mentioned that changing it will forever marke me as his "dawkter's wife." :>

[pstone]

Nietzsche had a point about the matrilineal line... that it's the only "sure" one.

Only if the woman is not so ah...honest lets say.