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Should I change my name?

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  • #16
    Exactly. Nietzsche was basically saying that you never know who the father is, but it's clear who the mother is.
    married to an anesthesia attending

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    • #17
      I clearly got the point, really not as dumb as you think I suppose.

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      • #18
        I wasn't trying to insult your intelligence. Sheesh. I was just clarifying my point.
        married to an anesthesia attending

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        • #19
          I still go by my maiden name but plan to change it if and when we have children. It's hard for me to let it go because there are no boys in my family and the name dies with me. Plus it sounds better than DH's last name.
          I can say it's been a pain since we got married. It certainly makes things a LOT easier if you share the same last name. Our mortgage is in both our names. DH gets annoyed when he gets mail addressed with his first name and MY last name! :> I think it's funny!
          I like Nietzche's comment. It's so true. I think it would be great if more men took the woman's last name. I've read about couples who take letters of both last names and create and an entirely new name. I tried that and came up with very odd names. DH and I share only 2 vowels: U and E. Makes it challenging when creating a "cool" new name. Luner; Tellule; Gunrel....
          yeah..not so great...

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          • #20
            I think in this day with all of the identity issues that people have it will be 100 times easier if you had the same last name as your future children.
            Wife to NSG out of training, mom to 2, 10 & 8, and a beagle with wings.

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            • #21
              Thanks, I think I'm convinced.

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              • #22
                I changed my for the same reasons mentioned, and I went from Butler to a constantly misprononunced/spelled name...I have found that it makes it easier with kiddos.

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                • #23
                  I am not totally sure about this but in theory any parent travelling alone with his or her child(ren) is supposed to have the written authorization of the other parent, no matter what their family name is. This used to be quite loosely applied, but since 2000 or so I have heard it much more stringently enforced to prevent child-kidnapping by parents in conflict.

                  So I wouldn't really take that as a main reason.

                  If you feel like changing your name, go ahead, you don't need a reason. Just do it, they say.

                  Personally I cannot imagine letting go of mine, and I think my dad would be very disappointed to see it go extinct, and I really love the way it sounds. Plus, I'm already well known in my field under that name. Luckily, we both have short family names, so kids will probably carry both names.

                  But the bottom line is: Do as you feel is best.

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                  • #24
                    Do whatever makes you happy!

                    DH and I are in a standoff over this for eight years now. I won't offer to change my name until he offers to change his. Neither of us cares all that much. Plus, I have tried to build up my name professionally and a name change would be problematic. And, the most bizarre reason: When we have kids, I am aiming for one of those cute nerdy kids that gets glasses when s/he is three and has a hyphenated last name.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Grog
                      I am not totally sure about this but in theory any parent travelling alone with his or her child(ren) is supposed to have the written authorization of the other parent, no matter what their family name is. This used to be quite loosely applied, but since 2000 or so I have heard it much more stringently enforced to prevent child-kidnapping by parents in conflict.
                      I've traveled quite a bit w/my kids w/o my spouse, and you do not need any authorization. The first time I flew w/ds#1 the airline suggested I bring a copy of his birth certificate, but I was never asked for it. It may be different for international flights - but is not required for domestic (I've flown to CA, FL, MO, AK, & IL with one or both kids / no husband). Plus, what kind of written consent could you get? A note? How would that be verified?

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                      • #26
                        I changed my name on my wedding day. I never liked my maiden name and was happy to change it although dh's is difficult to pronouce and is usually butchered. We had considered changing our name to something less ethnic, but we're too far along in his career in our opinion to change it. A friend of mine kept her maiden name but changed it when she was pregant for the same reasons that have been mentioned. My sister kept her maiden name and now their kids have really ugly hyphened names (some can be nice though). But, hey whatever makes you happy. I vote yes to the change.
                        Wife to Hand Surgeon just out of training, mom to two lovely kittys and little boy, O, born in Sept 08.

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                        • #27
                          I'm surprised at how many people choose to keep their last names. Not that it's a bad thing! I'm just surprised. For me, it's not even a question. I just assumed it is what I would do. I love my dad and his whole lineage, but we're not the Kennedys or anything.

                          What are your convictions (if you have them) for keeping your own last name? I'm curious.

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                          • #28
                            Seriously, the #1 reason I changed mine when I first got married and then didn't bother to go back to my maiden name is that my maiden name is Martin.

                            There were 3 Jennifer L. Martins in my high school. Extrapolate that to the rest of the population and you will find at least a few who are criminals, didn't pay their taxes, have drug raps, etc. Don't need to be confused with other people when I have enough wierdness in my life as it is.

                            Jenn

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                            • #29
                              I went w/ "Hussey".

                              'nuf said.
                              I have one like that too!! Not the same but another term used for female in a derogatory way!

                              I still didnt think twice about changing my name though, my maiden name was nicer but we might use it as a christian name for a future kid. Guess I'm just old fashioned.

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                              • #30
                                Jenn, mine was Jensen, and even though my first name isn't as popular as Jennifer, there was another Heidi Jensen in my high school. Incidentally, I have googled Heidi Lamoreaux and the only other one I see has a Ph.D. or something, and so, she's cool by me. I hope she is skinny and looks like me too. It would be best for everyone involved if other people just thought that was me. :>

                                I like having a more unique name, and i just don't have this need to carry on my family name. I don't like his family, either, but they have a better name, even if it is French, harder to pronounce and spell; it's still cool.
                                Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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