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It sucks that I can't post pics directly from there....I'm too lazy to upload them elsewhere.
I still can't find the USB cord to upload the new pics on there....there are some from the trip and from his b-day. If Russ is home and awake for more than 30 minutes I'll try to get him to help me find it.
We bought Daegan a new car seat! It's such a milestone. He's about 21 pounds now and 28.5 inches long....the rear facing seat we have goes up to 22# and 29"....the new seat is front facing and 22#-80#....so we ahven't moved him yet, but just seeing the new one in the house means its real. He's growing up.
I've been going through a big emotional mess recently. Daegan's B-day brought up all my bad thoughts and feelings on his birth and the end of my pregnancy. Also three people I know here recently gave birth....so it's all very fresh. I go back and forth every day on whether or not to have another....and whether or not Louisiana is the place I want to give birth again. And I have another friend here who is pregnant and planning a homebirth and she's so anti-intervention that it's annoying....especially since I had so many interventions b/c I was sick....but I end up letting myself feel like a failure....but I look at Daegan and know that I'm not.
I also had a run-in with a mom from his daycare. I let myself get bullied and I'm kicking myself for being so spineless. I really hate that I have ZERO confidence in myself as a parent. I second guess and doubt myself soooo much....and I "trust" everyone else....even people who have been parenting less time than me....or people with sucky kids. I don't know why I do it, but it really, really sucks. I worry sooo much what other people think, or that someone is going to say I'm doing it wrong and try to take him away from me or something. I don't know why I feel like everyone is judging me....and that no matter what I say or do I'm never going to be good enough. Stupid daycare mom. I actually ended up going to work crying that day. I look for confirmation from others too much. I need to sac up and get some confidence!
I've also been very frustrated with work recently. Some stuff recently has made me re-evaluate if this is a place I can have my name associated with. One thing is very unethical/bordering on illegal....another is a crappy situation that borders on incompetence/malpractice....and a lot of it is just subpar standard of care. I thought a bunch of it was because they didn't know and could be changed once I took the job.....but now I realize they don't want to change. A small example....we have a standard puppy vaccination plan that includes a vaccine for Corona virus....this is no longer considered a core vaccine by the AAHA and most (maybe all) vet schools. It's a disease that affects puppies 2-6 weeks of age....before they are ever given a vaccine. It's self-limiting and usually mild. It BUGS THE CRAP outta me that we vaccinate for it at this clinic. I wanna just refuse to do it.....but I don't want to make waves with the staff. I'm already the new doc with all the 'crazy' ideas about surgery patients needing IVs and monitoring!
And *gasp* pre-anesthetic bloodwork. I actually write down the dose of medication I give in the chart....the other docs are lucky if they even write down that they gave an antibiotic. Seriously, if any of you lawyers need a quick buck, sue our clinic. We're screwed. I'm embarrassed by the medicine I practice at this clinic. But the hours are great....and I like most of the staff. My mom says to suck it up b/c I'm doing this all for Daegan...so I can have the hours with him....and so far that's what I'm trying to do. But it's really hard sometimes.So my little boy is starting to eat! He's eating cheerios really well and he eats chicken breast and bananas pretty good too. He just wanted to be able to feed himself. I appreciate the help here.
OK I gotta go....Daegan's trying to type and turn off the computer on me!