Lil Duce is 18 months old today. He's so much fun! The three of us have finally found a stride.....of course that means were talking about adding another. I have an appointment to have my IUD removed and as it gets closer, I'm thinking more and more about my pregnancy with Daegan....my BP, the C-section, the NICU stay and all of that jazz. I'm also reading as much as I can about VBACs and the recurrence rates for pre-e/HELLP. I'm soooo angry!! I really feel like my pre-e symptoms were neglected. I re-read one of my old posts
Ummm...yeah I know hindsight is 20-20 but really......this should've been a bigger red flag....and maybe it was only 11 days before he was born....but 11 days of knowing that an early babe was a possibility and a couple of doses of steroids might've helped me and his lungs. I know that this situation of not knowing isn't going to happen again (I know better to listen to my gut/body - though arguably I did by going into L&D to be seen)....but it doesn't help resolve my anger at what happened. I know I should let it go and get over it...and I will....eventually, but right now I'm pissed and emotional about it. I need to talk to someone about it.....but I don't know who. Also I don't know who to go see for an OB. I want to VBAC but from everything I've heard about local OBs, it's strongly discouraged and not allowed by some. I'm going to ask the OB at my IUD removal appt, but it's the LSU clinic that has all day waits and crappy receptionists....and the folks that kinda missed my pre-e until it was HELLP. Of course they are also the only MFM/high-risk place in town. I'm just all upset and emotional right now. Maybe Russ can chat with me tonight if he doesn't get called in.....

we haven't told anyone IRL about our plans to have another one...my mom has been vocal against the issue...so I feel like I have no one to talk to....that doesn't help the issue. I know there are other message boards....but I want to talk with someone IRL....maybe it's time to find a counselor....