I haven't updated in a bit.....

It's a boy! Yay! I 'm really excited that it's a boy, but I can't help but feel a little sad that it's not the girl I thought it was. It's a really weird feeling. I feel sorta sad everytime I tell someone that it's a boy. I like little girls...but I definiterly don't think I'm capable of dealing with a pre-teen or teenage girl!! I think one of the other things I'm sad about is not being able to buya bunch of new little girl stuff. We have plenty of boy stuff, so the Snapper really sin't going to get much of his own from us. I'm sure we'll buy some things here and there, but it's not the same as buying a bunch of stuff for the baby.

And with that, I kinda feel gypped in the whole baby excitement department. When I was pregnant with Daegan, I was away from my family (~4 hr drive) and I was working like an intern so I didn't have time for a shower....then when I stopped working, I moved several states away and didn't know anyone. So I didn't get a shower then either. We also didn't do much in preparation for Daeagn such as buying a bunch of stuff....and really decorating a nursery....he came too quickly. And now since I have everything...and again no family near by, I'm pretty sure I won't get a shower again. Not that people throw showers for subsequent babies unless there has been a big time lapse or a different gender, ya know. I just wanna whine that I won't be the center of attention for anything!

Pregnancy emotions are crazy!

On the work front, I met with another vet in town and learned that my clinic is on par with others. Great. (insert eyeroll) I really am so not Shreveport! I don't fit in here. Oh well....a couple more years....I think I'm going to tough it out at this clinic and just try not to take any extra shifts. Be there as little as possible and try to care as little as possible about the clinic....but do what I can for the patients. We're supposed to get a blood machine this week. We'll see.....I hope the fix the x-ray processor too b/c the films get stuck inside every other time.

Daegan is such fun! He's going through some changes right now....he's wavering between being needier and wanting more independence. I can see that he's matring. He turned 2 last Friday! We celebrated on Saturday...basically just me and Daegan....Russ was a selfish butthead that weekend. He has been trying to make up for it all week at least...and he's planning to spend a bunch of time with us this weekend.

Ohh...I'm going out with the girls from work on Saturday! I'm excited. One of our kennel girls is turing 21, so we're going to dinner and then 2 clubs. I probably won't make it out that late, but I plan to go to one of the clubs. I think it will be fun.

In other whiny news, my wrist/thumb still isn't better and has been getting worse....so I'm now in a hard splint/cast type thing. I can take it off...only supposed to take it off to shower, but I take it off for surgery and so I can type. I also can't really dress well with it on. It completely restricts my thumb movement. I hope it gets better...the PT/hand therapist said she hoped it would be better before the new baby comes, b/c she thinks the new babe will make it worse again. I really don't want to wear this thing for another 4 months!....it's not even been a week!

I've decided to take the leap and train to be a La Leche League leader....you're not really supposed to tell anyone but I figure this blog is pretty safe. I originally asked my friend to train me but she won't. She passed me off to someone else. I think it's kinda dick of her. She doesn't agree with the fact that I work. I think that's shitty. Not everyone wants to live off the government's teat just so the mom can stay home and breed. They receive govt assistance b/c he's a PhD student and she doesn't work. She has 2 kids....and plans to have a bunch more....she also plans to homeschool them all.....I don't mean to sound like I'm knocking homeschool....b/c I think it's a great idea.....but i don't think most people practice it the right way...and I think she'll end up being one of those freaky homeschool recluse type families. Whatever, her business but I don't think she should be so negative about my business. Ya know? I don't knock on her weekly for being unable to support themselves and choosing to have more children. But she'll knock on me for buying cheese sticks and packaged food (even if I'm buying organic, minimally processed, no additive foods) b/c that's soo much more expensive and how I'm wasting money and I should just make it myself. Umm? Who the f are you? My time is worth more than that. I cook because I enjoy it....not because I'm freakin' poor. Besides she has a bread machine and she still buys bread with high fructose corn syrup in it. Ugh. I really don't know why I am friends with her. Only because it's currently convenient...she's in LLL and she does the babywearing stuff with me. But our kids fight everytime we get together and she annoys me....and she uses me for my sewing machine. (Sticks tongue out). Russ gets sick of my bitching about her. Now I have another place. But I'm excited to do the LLL Leader thing. I really want to be able to help moms and to hopefully help change the image of LLL a bit. But maybe they won't accredit me b/c I work. We'll see. I think being a working mom and being the mom of a preemie gives me some good insight to help other moms meet their breastfeeding goals. I have my first meeting with my trainer tomorrow and I'm a little nervous. Russ doesn't care about this stuff so I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. My mom and sister think I'm a freak for still breastfeeding Daegan so they aren't any help.

Speaking of my mom and sister....they're kinda putting me in the middle of their little disagreement about my sisters job situation. She's a teacher, but wasn't able to get a job in their new county this year. My sis is still hopeful that one will come up, my mom doesn't think so, esp since school has started already and there have been a ton of budget cuts in Florida that has put many teachers out of a job. My sis made a resume, but is only half heartedly job hunting...and she's being extremely picky about which jobs she'll apply for, like she has to make a certain amount and she wants it to be pharma sales, but I think the market is too slow for her to be picky about a job. And I don;t want to hear everyday how mom says she won't get a job but her MIL says she will (teaching) and yadiyadiyada. So I should stop calling them....but again I feel lonely so I want to talk to someone.
Ok enough emotional vomit for one day.