October 26, 2004

I've started a diet every Monday for the last 10 years. Well, I've actually reached the point now where I 'pretend' to start a diet on Mondays. I got so tired of breaking my diet a few years ago that they have become diets in name only....as in...."no, I can't have that cookie, I'm on a diet. Well, it IS a special occasion, so yes..I will have that cookie. Hmmmmm...where is the bag of cookies?" I gained a significant amount of weight with each of my pregnancies and was dismayed to find myself at an all-time high a few months after the birth of my fourth child last year. The really sad part is that when I stepped on the scale to mark the beginning of yet another 'diet' I weighed more than I had the day that I was discharged from the OB floor.

I changed my eating this summer in an earnest attempt to win this battle of the bulge once and for all. Much to my amazement, after lowering my calories and carbs and increasing my exercise the weight simply began melting off. I lost 30 pounds in the first 3 months and was ecstatic.

Fast forward 3 months...I reached a plateau and simply stopped losing. As the disappointment mounted, I found myself cheating and binging on sweets and then trying to 'get back on the wagon'. I now find myself at the -25 mark but I feel like the -30 has become a psychological barrier that I just can't get through. I have stopped believing that I really can lose the weight. Only a few short months ago I was exercising to deal with stress...now I find myself running back to the fridge.

So that is my big confession...in an attempt to hold myself accountable, I am making the commitment to be honest about the ups and downs of my 'get healthy' campaign.