I have been thinking a lot about why I suddenly feel so emotional. I guess initially things still seemed so "up-in-the air" and I felt the need to hold it together for me and for Thomas and the children. Now that I know that the treatment is doing what it is supposed to and that the baby is doing well I think I've been able to internalize that things really are going to be ok. I think I finally have given myself...permission...to let down my guard and not 'be strong' for everyone around me and for myself. I've looked at the whole situation and been a little shocked and sad....maybe I was just in 'survival mode' before...

Realizing this has given me a sense of inner peace. I don't feel panicked anymore about feeling sad or afraid...I think this is probably just a normal part of it all.