My appointment this morning went really well....I'm so grateful that my oncologist is so calm and upfront. His feeling is that what is being seen on the CT is some pretty decent scarring and damage to my lung...he is not concerned about malignancy. I'll need to follow-up with my internist to start doing lipid panels, etc. The large vessels that were radiated can regenerate, but I guess the little buggers can't...and since we're seeing so much damage to the lungs we'll need to get proactive. But that's all good news!!!

It is really underwhelming though that so many radiologists and doctors can give so many different opinions about the same thing. I'm still a little bothered by the fact that dh was told so many diff. things yesterday by the radiologists. Seriously, I'm not a radiologist, but I could have babbled off that list of differentials...

I also have a hard time with the fact that dh gets so worked up about this stuff. He loses all common sense and is completely unable to separate his emotions from his judgement. I guess this is why he refuses to treat me for any piddly little thing and always has...but...come ON! When it was all said and done, he walked out of the office and said that he had promised God that if all was ok he would donate $500 immediately to a needy charity or the Lymphoma society or something.

You could have knocked me over with a feather! This is the same man that I have to force to church on Christmas

Regarding head/neck/shoulder pain...he doesn't want to rush into an MRI etc. Swelling? check Edema? check pain? check...but he isn't convinced that it is related to the inflammation or scar damage or that it is some sort of malignancy so I'm to keep tabs on it and come back if it doesn't go away or gets worse in the next 2 weeks.

The thing is...after c-sections I don't even end up taking the tylenol 3 etc....I'm up and about and by the time I get home post-section (about day 3) I don't even need tylenol or ibuprofen, etc. Rigth now, I'm maxing out on ibuprofen/aleve and it is doing little to help. I've had my max dose today and feel miserable.

I can live with this though...in my eyes, it is all good news....as long as we aren't looking at a malignancy right now, I'm happy.

And I guess the positive in all of this is that I was again given a good reminder to slow down and enjoy life day-to-day and to "not sweat the small stuff". It's so easy to get complacent and feel angry or upset about things that just aren't worth it. I feel like this has helped put me back on track.....

I'm so relieved and happy.

kris