I am the only person that I know that can eat her way through a stomach ache. No really…it’s sadly true. I developed a terrible stomach ache Wednesday night in the middle of the night. The pain woke me up and I drifted in and out of sleep. Thursday, I actually got the kids out the door to school and then laid in bed with Zoe and Aidan crawling on the floor around me and watching TV until nearly 1pm. I felt miserable.
And yet…I didn’t miss a meal. Really, this was the perfect opportunity for me to really get a grip on my eating and I couldn’t do it. What does that say about me? I returned to a healthy eating plan on Monday and did well until I got sick…I was already losing some of the weight that I put on from stress eating over the last month. Logic would dictate that getting a bad stomach ache would mean that I would lose a little more…maybe not even be able to eat until I felt better? Nope, not here. My fat cells actually go into panic mode if there is any hint that there might be a famine coming.
sigh. The stomach ache remains…as does the appetite. Oh, how I wish I could just wake up thin again….I lay in bed at night some nights fantasizing about how I would never allow myself to get this fat again…..
The week itself was just crazy. This was Amanda’s trial week of school. Because it was the week before spring break, each day was jampacked with fun activities that she didn’t want to miss. She also said she missed her friends and she wanted to try it. Things steadily went downhill and ended with me basically…making a complete a$$ of myself. I got so frustrated that I responded to the vice-principal’s email to me by telling her that their 0 tolerance policy was a joke and that I had given 150% of myself to solving the problems but that now my only advice to my daughter was to stand up for herself and fight….amongst other choice words. I don’t ordinarily actually respond to people without thinking things through, but I was at my wit’s end.
The vice principal has never known me to be anything but friendly, calm and rational and she called me and said she was literaly bowled over by my response to her….and hurt. I apologized for taking my frustrations out on her, but expressed my frustration that there was little punishment for misdeeds and those punishments seemed to come weeks after actual infractions. I could tell she was still unhappy with me.
I sent her a very nice email apology…and followed it up with an apology card the next day. I haven’t heard anything back…and there is a part of me that feels terrible about it. I have really prided myself on trying to handle things diplomatically and I guess with all of the stress of the week and my upcoming CT scan on Monday I just…lost it.
A friend of mine here who is also dealing with this same issue with the vice principal pretty much told me that I was within my rights to feel the way that I do. She had a meeting on Friday with the school where she also expressed many of the same feelings. My mom :therethere: consoled me by pretty much saying that maybe I was feeling badly because expressing my dissatisfaction like that was so out of character for me these days…That’s true….I tend to vent to DH or friends and then am really polite when actually addressing a problem…so I have given myself permission now to move on from this episode. I have given all that I can in terms of apologies and whether they are accepted or not….I move on.
Finally..the big ouch for the week…I was getting Andrew ready for boyscouts after dropping Amanda off at a bday party sleepover. We had only 30 minutes to get him completely packed and so I was hurrying. I grabbed a sweatshirt from the closet but couldn’t get the coathanger down. The bar was up too high and I was in such a hurry that I tried pulling on the sweatshirt to get it off of the hanger without actually having to reach for the hanger.
Much to my surprise, as the sweatshirt came down, the coat hanger snapped and broke…sending a projectile piece of plastic directly into my left eye. OUCH.
Here’s the coat hanger:
and the projectile piece that rocketed into my eye:
I feel incredibly lucky that I didn’t….lose my eye or end up with some serious eye damage. I spent a couple of hours in the ER to find out that I had abrasions to the surface of my eyeball…along with some swelling and a little bump….but…no corneal damage.
What a way to end the week! Of course…I treated myself to McDonald’s french fries because I felt like I “deserved it” after all of that.
And I wonder why I can’t lose weight.
Today…I’m definitely getting my eating back on track.[/quote]
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March 24, 2007
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