I haven't completely jumped the shark...I promise.

I think I'm doing a pretty good job of getting a handle on things here....prednisone aside. Fortunately, I'm in the last 8 days of taper now.

I'm actually feeling such relief at finally being able to talk about how I feel. I've said many times that in order to get through everything over the last couple of years I had to really dig deep to do things that I didn't want to..and that the only way to manage was to toughen up...to develop a tough outer shell....The drawback is that this toughness found its way into my heart.

My emotions have been strangely comforting to me. Thomas and I have talked now about everything more in the last few days than we did in several years...about the experience, about our feelings...about our fears...we have needed this....really, really needed this.

I'm realizing that the best way to the other side is just....to go through it...not avoid it, dance around it or over it...but look at it. I think that it will take time for me to sort through my thoughts, but I also feel like I'm on the right track.

In other news, I decided to get my butt back into a schedule. I revised our daily hourly to-do list and pulled back out my meal-planner. It feels good to take control again. I'm back to having a separate story/craft time for Zoe and Aidan, a set time for lunch (instead of the eating whenever thing that's been happening). I have once again laid out our days so that things are again predictable and all of the meals for the entire week are planned...in my family planner....no stress...even breakfasts and lunches....and...I went back to baking homemade banana chocolate chip muffins for the kids for special breakfasts.....

After just a couple of days, Aidan has already re-adjusted.....I picked him up from preschool today and he said "Mommy, is it my craft time now?"...We had lunch and then...went home and painted.




Now I'm enjoying my 1 hour window of me time online before I head out the door to pick up the kiddos.

Oh...and I picked up some seed packets for my winter garden.....

Kris[/quote]