I only have a few minutes online, but I thought an update was in order. I have to pick my mom up at the airport in Minneapolis in a couple of hours and it has been a crazy, busy day already with Alex's soccer and the little ones needing my attention.

First things first...Amanda.

So far, everything is going much better than I ever could have anticipated. Last week when she was weighed at the dr's office she had already gained 7 POUNDS. Wow...that's a lot. She is doing very well with eating meals and snacks.

We got to the bottom of some of the issues. Apparently, there was some more girl-on-girl bullying stuff this year that revolved around food. One of the little girls that we have struggled with since Amanda was in second grade was making fun of her anytime she ate. For awhile, Amanda was trying to hide food in her locker and eat when no one was looking. Eventually though, she started wondering if this little girl was right and if she would just lose weight might she finally be invited to the table with the popular girls?! They feel like there is more anxiety associated with all of this than anything else and this is in part because she is doing so well now that school is out with the eating.

Amanda doesn't want to return to the middle school. Last night, we discussed the option of homeschooling for next year again. It appears that that is where we are headed for her, and I'm fine with it...I think. I'm just afraid to make any mistakes and get her behind at school or...oh, hell...I'm just afraid to make the wrong choice.

So far though, the therapist that she has been seeing has been terrific. She has worked with adolescents with eating disorders for 17 years and I really like her. It is such a relief. We tried a therapist for Andrew when he was in elementary school and was going through some bullying and the man was an idiot that could only talk about 1-2-3 parenting. This was at a time when we were starting to feel convinced that Andrew might be on the autisum spectrum and we couldn't get it addressed. It felt like a collosal waste of time and money. After the cancer thing, we sent the kids to a therapist who saw each of them individually but didn't spend any time at all discussing their care with us. The kids complained that she was "stupid" and that it was a "waste of time" but she was highly qualified (at least on paper). It turns out that she was completely incompetent. After several months, we stopped going. Things felt like they had sorted themselves out for the kids and she offered to see me to talk about the stress of the pregnancy, chemo, etc. That's when I realized that she was a complete ZERO. She would talk about herself and her kids all of the time, complain about her husband and ....the worst thing? She played on her computer and refreshed her screen so that it wouldn't shut down instead of paying attention. I was totally shocked by it. Fortunately, I had Kelly to kick me in the pants and encourage me to walk away from her!

Honestly....after that experience I backed off of seeing anyone even when Andrew seemed like he was continuing to struggle. How do you find a qualified therapist without wasting money and time...and if you aren't invited into the sessions with the kids, how do you know that anything is being accomplished?

This woman is great. She has taken the time to talk with me about the issues, discusses the treatment plan and goals and meets with both Amanda and I for the first 15 minutes or so and then with Amanda alone. I feel like I know what is going on and I'm much more comfortable.

Going through all of this also shows me how far my marriage has come over the last 15 years. Instead of fighting or arguing with each other, we wait until the kids are all in bed and spend time out on the pond talking things through and planning. I would have never guessed that we could get to this point .... especially considering how our lives were after finishing residency and fellowship. We are both older....and I think wiser....and I am so relieved to have Thomas to support me.