Hurry up and Hurry up by Kristen Math
I’ve been told that I talk faster than most people can listen. It’s even been suggested that my cartoon ‘alter ego’ is the Tasmanian Devil. Like Taz, I can be almost frenzied in my activity when I am ‘crazy busy’…a state I put myself in on a regular basis. Honestly, this flurry of activity has always felt quite comfortable to me. I enjoy the hectic pace. My energy level has served me well through years of my husband’s residency training, raising small children and going back to finish my graduate degree. I am the queen of multi-tasking. Still, no matter how I try, there’s one thing I have struggled to do – relax.
Learning to embrace the ‘here and now’ can be a difficult task, especially for those of us who are used to being on the go. Of course, every frenzied person secretly wishes that they could slow down and enjoy the moment. In the middle of the chaos of driving kids to activities, planning meals, working, keeping up with the housework, supporting a spouse in residency, or managing that attending household, who has the time to relax?
The day after I had had a C-section with my 5th baby, I got up early and walked down to the NICU to visit her. After washing up to go in, I realized that I had forgotten my camera and so I turned around and headed down the hallway back to my room to retrieve it. “There IS a speed limit in these hallways” a nurse chided as I hurried along, my gown and robe fluttering in the air behind me . “Take it easy” I was reminded on several occasions until my discharge. Slowing down though, to me, meant letting go of the control that I imagined I had over my life. Developing a post-surgical infection, being readmitted and dealing with the recovery quickly taught me that slowing down is another way to be in control.
After those early post-partum days, I had ample time to hurry up and…wait….in the NICU. As the days went by, I learned to enjoy sitting still and looking out the window at the towering Elm tree while snuggling my little girl close to me. I listened to the beeps of the monitors attached to the babies on the unit, and the sound of my daughter breathing in and out while she rested on my shoulder. I felt the hard plastic of her bassinet, the fluffy softness of her blankets. Gradually, I began to shed my layers of frenzy and replaced them with an unfamiliar, yet comfortable stillness. Now, anytime I am feeling hurried or out-of-touch with myself, I spend a few minutes outside looking at the flowers in my garden or listen to a song that brings me back into the moment. With practice, it has become almost automatic.
I discovered that finding a way to manage the hectic pace and grounding myself in the present was the only way to get control of my life and enjoy each day to the fullest. Finding a state of calm is not as difficult at you might think. Try this simple 10 minute exercise to help you to ground yourself in today.
Choose an object that you can focus on.
This might be a flower in your garden, the fire in the fireplace, a table, pillow or even your child. Picking the ‘right’ object isn’t important. Whatever is in front of you will do. The purpose of the exercise is to draw yourself out of the hectic of the day and into the moment.
Describe the object.
Begin to describe the object in your mind. Focus only on a very basic description. This might include the shape and color of the item. “The square pillow is green and gold with tassels all around the edges…” or “The table is a rectangle. It is made of a light wood.”
Provide a more detailed description.
Once you have presented yourself with a basic description of your object, focus on the details. Notice different colors, irregularities, scratches, missing parts and texture. “The flower is missing two petals, and has a green caterpillar resting on its’ leaf.” “The sofa is made of soft leather.”
Expand your focal point to include nearby objects and events. Notice your toddler coloring with a black sharpie on the wall next to the fireplace, the butterfly fluttering towards the daylily, or the red jaguar breezing past you while you drive 75 on the highway.
Concentrate on your senses.
Are there birds singing in the background? Is the sun shining? Do you feel hot or cold? Once you become conscious of the physical sensations, you may be surprised to realize that you can hear the mailman’s truck as he stops at your mailbox, or the clothes thumping against the dryer door.
Anytime your mind begins to wander to the tasks of the day or you feel yourself thinking about other things, you can quickly bring yourself back into the moment by becoming aware of your body’s reactions to the environment. Feel your back resting against the recliner or the sun beating down on your shoulders. Think about the taste of the iced tea you are drinking or the smell of the fabric softener as you twist off the lid.
Practice
Take time each day to repeat this exercise. You will discover that with time you will feel more connected to yourself and the moment. Any time you are feeling out-of-touch, are obsessively planning for the future, are ruminating over the past or feel overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the tasks ahead of you, spend a few minutes getting grounded.
With the new Post-Graduate Year approaching, many of you will be grappling with juggling call schedules, family responsibilities and even your own careers. Spouses who are finished with training may be managing the household, finances, career, family and the continuing demands of the medical lifestyle. It is easy to get so caught up in the places that we have to be and the things that we have to do today, tomorrow, or a month from now that we lose touch with what is going on around us. Taking a few moments to get centered each day can be a liberating way of gaining control over your life.
