A little background here...

BIL (DH's brother)has been dating the same incredible woman for about five years (or so). Finally, last fall she basically told him that she wants kids before she turns 35 (she's 32) and either they get married and start a family or she was going to move on with her life. In December, BIL finally proposed. FSIL has always envisioned herself eloping, but BIL is a huge mama's boy and insists that he can't get married without his parents there. So, they set a May wedding date, with family-only being invited, with about three weeks notice. DH and I work our schedules, etc, cancel a bunch of plans to make sure we're all there. A week goes by, and we get a call that BIL isn't sure if he wants kids, they are remaining engaged, but pushing back the wedding.

In the midst of all of this, DH's family gets in a huge argument about who should pay for Grandma's expenses now that she has run out of money (since we're the "rich" family, even though we're the only ones with kids, student loans, and make about the same as everyone else, we of course, should pay for everything). So, we basically have heard very little from BIL all summer. We kind of assumed that he wasn't getting married.

Two days ago, we get a call the BIL and FSIL are getting married in St. Louis on November 6th - about a week after I have baby #3 via c-section. I'm basically making DH go because I don't feel he can miss his brother's wedding. I feel bad that I can't come, but even if I feel great, I'm not taking a week-old baby to stay in a hotel for a weekend. FSIL actually called me to see if it was okay, and I told her that if she eloped, I wouldn't be there, so she and I can just pretend that she's getting what she wants. I didn't realize that MIL and FIL would insist that DH must bring our other kids. DH is going to have to drive down with the kids, get them ready the day of the wedding, and stay in a hotel room with both of them (DS will not sleep in a hotel). To top it all off, MIL and FIL called DH to wish him "happy holidays" for both Jewish holidays this month (DH became Catholic seven years ago, but has been going to church since he was 12), so he's incredibly annoyed with them anyway and feels very unaccepted by his family. To make a long story short, I am the crappy wife who is making my DH maintain a relationship with his family. Oh well...