Am I crazy yet?

The Land of Oz.....

WHEW! What a long time since i have even lurked on IMSN...missed everyone all more than I realized. Where to start? Can't go back to June as I would have to relive the exam and boards and UGH moving...I'll start with leaving Canada...was kind of sad, but really ready (or so I thought) we have the most wonderful week in hawaii ..I LOVE it and would go back in a heartbeat. The baby and Mike found the heat a bit tricky, but our pool helped a lot. We got to Australia in the beginning of June and it was freaking freezing (I know wierd coming from a Canadian) I just wasn't prepared for it to be an actual "winter" not like ours of course, but still a little breezy. Anyway we rented a vacation house in the Northen Beaches area which is totally breathtaking and I would recommend it to anyone...pricey,but oh well, I'm married to a surgeon HA!
Anyway the first week was Ok, but the second week here was the worst one I have ever had! Long story short the boys and I got really homesck (I think that reality set in , I have never lived away from family andfriends before) and things just got hard (paperwork issues etc) Mike's license was messed up and it was going to be a month before he could operate, YIKES! He was shocked and upset and we were already having a hard time adjusting.....then Xander got sick, REALLY sick (to me it was REALLY, he had only ever had ear infections) anyway he was vomiting and having horrible GI issues for days until we finally took him to emerg (no family Dr here yet) turned out he was struck with some virus and was so dehydrated they couldn't even get an IV without poking him 3 times...by now I am sobbing, but don't want him to see me...at this point the guy from admitting comes in to tell me that our medical inxurance won'tcover us as we haven't been here for 2 months yet so we will have to pay out of pocket! It costs us a LOT, but the hospital was great!! He was on the mend by the time we took him home and is perfect now.
The big boys LOVE it here and go to a small private catholic school (we are technicallu Anglican, but no one seems to mind very much) it is a great school and I am very impressed with the education system here!
The baby had seperation issues with the move, but is getting better every day (I can actually use the washroom on my own now) He is sooo cute, but what a handful!!! Just turned 19 months and is talking up a storm...nice to be able to understand what he wants/needs. I know he understands me, but really only does what he wants
Mike is happily operating and learning and I have to say it's nice to have the man I fell in love with back! I didn't realize how stressful things were until I look back....I feel lucky every day to have the life I have!!! It must possibly be the most inner peace I have ever felt...I think that Mike feels the same way too, but would never voice it

I am going back to Canada for a wedding in October and am not taking any of the kiddos with me...crazy! Mikey insisted that I go alone and offered to take vacation...he wanted time to bond with the boys alone and thinks I deserve a break...I'm a bit worried that I will spend the entire time missing them all too much. I suppose it will be what I make of it and I should try to enjoy the break!

We met some wonderful friends when we first arrived (they had moved here from the UK the day before us) and we are all taking a trip up the central coast this weekend should be fun...
Ciao for now
S

The day started off well enough...it is fathers Day here in Australia this weekend so the boys invited their dad to school for a kid/dad breakfast. No mums or babies allowed Great fun...only thing was that it started at 7:00 which meant that they had to start walking at 6:45 and I didn;t have their lunches made yet..now worries, I said that I would drop them off after I got back from Xander;s swim school (yes, the 18 month old goes to swim school anyway....I FORGOT!!! The school called at 1:15 and said that the boys didn't have anything to eat... Talk about bad impressions....we have only been there 1 month YIKES

Swim school was great and Xander was a little gem..he loved it and didn't want to go home at then end....I love him to pieces, but man does he ever give me a run for my money...he's nuts!!! I'll have to ask Kris sometime if each child gets more difficult as you continue??? If so, I think our plan to start trying again in January might be ...off! Saying that, I wouldn't trade 1 minute of my time with them!!!

Better go pack, we are taking the fam to Avoca for the weekend...little vacationy beach town....too bad we couldn't keep driving for a lot longer and go visit Robin (Tenshi) will have to do that soon...

Re: Am I crazy yet?

WOW, back in Canada!!! Crappy jetlag though...haven't hd any more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night, UGH

It is only wednesday and I am already dreading the return flight...what should have taken me 22 hours to get here actually took 39, grrr. I am so glad that I left Xander at home with DH...the trip would have been a nightmare for us as he isn't a great traveller (who is at 20 mths?)

Amazing how much I miss DH and the boys...they are all doing well and I think that DH is maybe realizing that I don't actually suntan and eat bonbons all day long

My girlfriend who is getting married is super excited about the wedding and they are a really sweet couple. I love standing in weddings when the couple are great. I actually declined to stand in a friends wedding because I couldn't stand the fiancee...(the marriage lasted 4 months and then he cheated) She is now married again to a sweetie.

I get back on a Tuesday and am going to Justin Timberlake with a girlfriend in Sydney that night, then Halloween then e head to Brisbane for the weekend....YAH, I might get to meet Tenshi. She would be my "first" iMSNer

The boys are finally getting settled in Oz now and have each made friends. Poor Peter has really struggled to make friends and had about a month of being sad and homesick, normal I guess. Anyway a new kid started at their school and Pete introduced himself and they have been inseperable ever since. Most days after school I have 4 boys between 10 and 11 at the house plus Xander and usually another baby or two...NUTS!

Mark loves learning the flute and is getting quite good. Peter choose the guitar, but I have to nag him to practice so progression is slow!
Baby is good, but oh so demanding...I think that maybe this is a demanding age??? Anyone?

DH loves being a fellow, but has been doing wayyyy to much call IMO. I left October 21st and he had only been not on call (excuse my grammer) 2 days Kind if his own fault though, he;s too nice and wont say no if someone asks him to take thier shifts...oh well we are finally able to pay back some of the debt. I swear I have an improper amount of pleasure every time I can make a payment after years of getting in deeper.

Still LOVEEEE Australia and would stay forever if it was a possibility. We are planning a trip to Thailiand on our way to move to Italy this May...has anyone ever been? I think we might just do Phuket, but am open to suggestions.

OK, well I am going to try to go back to sleep now. It's 4:12 am and I woke up at 2:00, UGH. ANy suggestions for bad jetlag? I even took a Gravol to hlp me sleep, but it didn't work...desperate!!!

Re: Am I crazy yet?

Oh Gosh, i have some serios catching up tp do...yikes!
We were sooo sad to leave Australia and all of the friends we made, even knowing that we were only there for a year doesn't really prepare you I know that we will always be close to the friends we made so that makes it a little less sad. One of the girls I spent a TON of time with is going to come alone to Canada next July (just bringing her 2 yo) We got our first (and only ) Godchild too...the same friend who is coming to visit from Oz asked Mike and I to be Godparents, we were thrilled. It is probably the closest to having a little girl we will get too!
Australia is AMAZING and I would recommend going to anyone...I took the big boys to the desert to Ayers rock, camel riding in the desert, helicopter rides in a canyon, we took them snorkeling in the great barrier reef, to Philip Island in Melbourne to see the penguins, to the largest all sand island in the world (Fraser Island) scary car ride to get there though.....
When we left Oz we took the kids for a weeks vacation in Thailand, FAB!!! I took the big boys bamboo rafting on the river Kwai, to a tiger temple, elephant trekking on the burmese border with mountain men (also VERY scary) for a ride on the death railway and finally we all went to the floating markets! A great trip for all...daddy and Xander hung out at the pool. The Sheraton in Bangkok is the NICEST hotel we have ever been to! [part of the luxury collection, but wayyy above and beyond. I can't wait to go back to Asia.
Next we lived in Italy (Bologna) for 6 weeks....hard times I have to say! The boys and I flew home early as it was a lot and we found out that YAY I'm pregnant again. We were excited, but didn't think that it would happen that fast...(literally the only time we did it in the month becuase we were sharing a room the rest of the time with a 2 yo) I did manage to take the boys to Rome, Venice, Pisa, and Florence before we left...I had been dragging them all over Europe trying to expose them to culture (yes they are only 11 and 12) until the final trip to Florence when after the 2 hour Eurostar ride and an hour and a half wait at the Musee Dell Academia (in hot sun with Xander screaming to go home) all they could say about Michelango's "David" was to giggle at his bare penis....uh huh culture all right The not speaking Italian was rough and Mikey was working from 5 am until well after 8pm every night.

So were are all home in Canada now and it's great to see friends and family. DH starts his last fellowship tomorrow so we are in TO. We left all of the kids with DH's mom and drove up alone (24hours) I was convinced that I would drive him crazy with my incessant talking, but it was great...I read some books, we sang along to the ipod touch we bought for the trip and all in all had fun together! Once again I must repeat how nice it is to have my hunny back...he's been pretty much "back" since he wrote his exams last year, but I still thank goodness every day.

Athough life has been wonderful the last year we hit a BIG speed bump today...UGH I feel sick to my stomach....I really don't like letting people down or confrontation! We arranged to rent somewhere here in TO before we left Oz (I know stupid mistake) anyway it seemed OK online....said it was 2200 sq ft and was 4 bdrms and a parking spot. it is 3000/month which is a lot for us to spend, but is literally across the street from the hospital....Mike has always had to commute and although he has never complained it is a drag for him. soooo, we walked by last night and it was SHOCKING!!!! Garbage all over the yard (that stinks A LOT) and it is a general state of yuck. We arranged to look inside today and it made my knees go weak! I was telling myself to look past the rotting food on the counters, past the disgusting carpets which I wouldn't put a dog or cat on (they are going to replace them) but it is upstairs (imagine with groceries and and infant and a 2 yo) no where to put a stroller...the stairs once you are in the house to the upper floor are open, to get to the deck you have to walk through the boys bedroom, the 2 yo would have a room (yet to be made) from the living room, and best one yet the parking spot is literally where the front yard would be...we parked there for an hour while we walked around and becuase our new (to us) Toyota Seqoiua sticks onto the sidewalk a tiny bit someone already scratched it!!! We talked about it all afternoon and are super stressed about what to do. We signed a contract, but sooo cannot live there....there are 11 other reasons. We called th landlord (SUPER nice people and we really would have loved to have rented from them) and she is going to get her husband to call us back...I'm sure we are going to lose our 3000 first month, but I don't care. Oh yah, as we got there she says " you need to make sure that you lock your doors at all times and the kids can't be out on the streets alone"
We are both from a small town where that would never occur to us...I do get that you are stupid not to lock your doors in a big city, but wow I feel unsafe. We are supposed to go to dinner with DH's best friend from med school who is an attending radiologist here so I'm hoping he can help.....UGH

Off to go try to get ready and not look like I am going to throw up!

Re: Am I crazy yet?

Whew! Back from Toronto and home for a bit....I am happy to be home with the dudes as any more than 4 days away mike and I both go a little squirrely, but he is still in TO
It is funny that we have mananged to be together this long and not be apart for more than 2 weeks, but we haven't. It is the first time though that although I miss him (and can't seem to sleep apart from him even though he is stuck in the OR many many nights at least I know he will be home the next day) I'm not struggling with missing him. Natural I suppose after the medical journey we have taken.

We found the perfect house just in the nick of time when I was getting ready to fly home....it was on a great sabbatical website I found and the couple are going to France for a year...we hit it off great and they chose up to rent their place (7 couples were bidding and they accepted our price (original asking price) I can walk to everything!!! Such a fab neighborhood, very posh area (not that that really matters, but the safety is nice for a small town girl) and the boys school is on the street!!!

On a funny note, Xander is HILARIOUS lately...he keeps me in stitches all day long! 2.5 is one of my fav ages from toddlers...and he hasn't really started and kind of embarassing behaviour yet ....the odd stomping crying fit, but still controllable and distractable.
We are at my in laws (who are wonderful, but fairly proper english couple) Xander was out with "Poppa" and Geoff (FIL) picked up Xander's gold balls so that he could mow the lawn....he randomly put them in his pocket and kept walking...Xander shouts out at the top of his lungs "HEY POPPA, funny penis!!! and collapses into laughter! too funny to see the look on FIL's face!

We were reading a book last night with different animals and as I pointed to each one he would name the animal and then who was mommy and daddy...when I pointed to him he said "I Xander, I munchkin" when I asked what he meant he said "babies are munchkins until they get big like you and daddy

Off to drive 2 hours to take big boys to a football BD party!

Re: Am I crazy yet?

Funny story to start the day!
Yesterday the kids and I were driving to the IL's house...it's about an hour and a half drive and the usual pretty boring Canadian drive...trees, trees and some more trees! I was listening to the radio and the big boys were reading while DS3 slept....there was a discussion about the HPV vaccine and the fact that they are starting this fall to offer to girls in grade 7. I realize that it is now time for a discussion with the boys seeing as Pete is starting grade 7 this fall....

Me: Longggg "discussion" (maybe lecture is more accurate) about sex (not the first) and when the right time is and the reasons behind it and consequences.....
DS1 : nothing
Me: Sooo what do you think about the HPV vaccine and do you think that it may be perceived as a "license to have sex"
DS1: well first, I think sex is DISGUSTING
DS1: "and second, I think they will have sex wwheter they have VASELINE or not
ME:
Me: lightbulb goes on "Uhhh, do you mean the VACCINE?
DS1 Yah that, now can I go back to reading please and maybe continue this discussion with dad at a later date?
Me : breathing again....SURE!

I have my 13 week through ultrasound this morning for abnormailities....I have a repaired heart condition (Tetrology of fallot) and there is a risk of the bambino to be. There has been a risk with every baby, but I feel stressed about this one in particular....really stressed! Like didn't sleep all night stressed...it stinks that DH is a 2 hour flight away so he's not here to bring me back to earth. My mom is going to come and herd the dudes for me...DS3 is having major anxiety at being left. the move and DH being away has been really hard on him.

Off to do breakfast before we go!

Re: Am I crazy yet?

Getting all settled in the new fellowship location now...first "BIG" city we have lived in...not too bad.
We found the most fantastic area and I am soo happy that we did...the big boys can go out alone and have some independance. ( I laugh as I type this becuase I am still over protective mom who may let them walk to the ice cream store alone, but am trying)

Weekend was longggg...a bit of a soul searching one for me too! If is one of the first times that DH took an extra call weekend without asking me about it or even mu opinion. Didn't go over well at all! It was our first full weekend here and the last one before the big boys start school...I really felt that it would have been nice to have had family time. I think that I am scared that as his career progresses the "him never being home" scenario will continue....by choice, his! I sat down with him on Sunday and told him that I was feeling really resentful that he had "Chosen" to work instead of spend time with us, but more importantly I worry that this will become our life! During residency I understood...mostly. He was away becuase he needed to be, not becuase he choose to be. He just feels that he needs to make enough money to support us comfortably...I would rather have HIM here and spending time with the dudes than buy crap....we came to a point where we have agreed that we will limit extra call to 1 weekend a month (that means he will work 2 a month) and that he will ask me before taking ANY shifts....we'll see what happens.

Baby is growing well...am super tired with this baby though...physically. Not sure if it's my heart condition (have repaired tetrology of fallot) but more likely it's just not being able to rest.

Boys went back to school yesterday and LOVED it...such a relief!!!! Poor Xander is crushed that he isn't going to school and collapses in a heap of tears when they leave...uh dude you're 2. He was as tall as the primary kids yesterday and seemed just as ready...trying to find him some kind of preschool a few mornings a week. Gymbaroo and music start this week and hopefully this will help...I think that I may start to make a lunch for X when I make the boys and bring it to whatever we are doing...

Off to the playground

Re: Am I crazy yet?

Boring Sunday morning here...I have re realized (for the millionth time) that I need to learn to relax! It is the first day in forever that we don't have to be someone or doing something and I am going CRAZY!! Dh and the kids have spent the morning making and eating pancakes while I finished putting laundry away and now I feel a little ....ummm, anxious! I think that DH finds it annoying that I can't just sit and watch stupid sci fi movies on the space netowrk, but I know how this is going to end...boys get bored, get rough, fighting ensues and baby gets into things that lead to mess....therefore I end up being grumpy and cleaning up! Ok, I sound awful and am trying to work on doing productive nothing (am going to buy a new book)

Yesterday was GREAT!!! Our new housecleaner came in the morning (she comes with the house rental!!! Seriously, "Sabbitical homes" is my bestest friend ever!) and can I just say that when we got home last night, I thought I had died and gone to heaven!!! I would have eaten out of the toilet (OK, not really but close) everything was crazy clean and shiny...

We took the boys to see the Jays play Tampa Bay Rays...it was the big boys first major league game and they loved it...turned out to be the longestttt game ever (went to 14 innings) and the Jays won with a HR! They had a thing at the end that the kids could go down and run the bases...too fun. We just chilled out at home as a family after dinner, all in all a fun family day which we haven't had in forever!

Starting to feel a tiny bit better this morning, but this UTI has been such a pain! I feel like I could sleep all day...Ok, I HAVE to go give these boys something to do...going to go check the local swim schedule!

Re: Am I crazy yet?

Probably not the best time to post...I thought about waiting until I feel like my usual happy blessed self, but then decided "what better place to vent"?

So broke my tailbone on Monday when I slipped on the stairs and have been in agony ever since...plus DS3 has had a fever between 103 and 104 for 4 days now! I took him to the walk in clinic (horrible ghetto experience I never care to repeat) and they said that he has a baddd case of strep throat and expect him to feel awful for a few more days until the antibiotic kicks in. I haven't had more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep for 5 days, can barely walk, am dealing with a very sick little man and where is DH? OUT TO FREAKING DINNER!!! I'm trying really really really hard to not be pissed at him.....but I am! All of the fellows were sent an email about this dinner (which irritated me initally anyway when it was made very clear that it was sans spouses...at this hospital they have had 6 dinners since July,none of which wives have been welcome at) that conveyed that they were expected to be there...whatever, fine. So tonight I asked DH if he was still going to go considering the circumstances and he felt that he would be in trouble if he didn't go...WTF! I know how it works and am usually OK with it (even though I think it's BS) but when I said that he should just tell them that his 7 month pregnant wife is at home (supposed to be on bedrest for preterm labour) with a broken tailbone, and a sick dude...he was...ummm, unwilling. I love him to bits and usually he's great, but I really feel like if someone needs to come up short, it's always us....waaahhhhh. Also it's now almost 10:30 and the least he could have done was to come home early....OK I need to stop, I sound horrible. Maybe a good nights sleep and I'll feel less annoyed?

Halloween promises to be great, DS1 is going as a very cool archer (fantastic costume...he's great at putting them together) DS2 is going as scary creepy scream guy and DS3 and I are going as monkeys....I obviously won't be able to take them trick or treating so DS1 and DS2 are going to take DS3 out...too cute! DH is hoping to get home at a reasonable time, but you know....

Re: Am I crazy yet?

I had great plans for today, this week and the remaining 4 weeks until DS4 arrives....not going to happen...

Am now officially on bed rest and have to go to the Dr Tues morning to discuss admitting me, UGH! I have managed to do well with this baby so far (this is the only one I haven't been admitted with preterm labour with by 28 weeks) but am super bummed!!! Started to have contractions this week and then they got regular and then started to bleed a little and viola, bed rest. It's only going to be able to be so "restish" with 3 dudes at home, but the big boys have been incredible! They have made me so proud of them...we were supposed to fly home on Wed for DH's pin ceremony ( we missed last year when he should have gotten it becuase we were in Oz) but I am thinking I won't be....I really want to feel sorry for myself, but keep trying to remember it's a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things.

I had promised the boys we would go to the santa claus parade today and since I can't and DH is on call all weekend, we are going to watch it on TV and have hot chocolate here.....it's -1 with a wind chill of -6 so at least we will be warm and cozy!

All else is good...DH has a few interviews lined up and doesn't want to go anymore, but I really think he needs to. Our first choice is still to go home...but we'll see.

Re: Am I crazy yet?

All is still...the same! Did I mention that I am not loving (OK, barely tolerating) this fellowship...UGHHH!!! NOT family friendly...in any way! DH is also tired of training at this point...he is the only one from medical schoolnot working yet....I just keep chanting 6 more months over and over in my head.

So DH arranged to do a locum at home for 2 weeks while we have the baby, but not to worry...he is going to take the day off when we have the baby. Dec 19th has been the big day planned all along. I will only be 35 weeks though andnow am starting to doubt the decision. Have mananged OK so far, but still in tons of pain from my tailbone and have started toget pretty sick...DH called his mom last night (while on call operating) to ask her to come stay with us until we are supposed to fly home....I'm just worried that in my current grouchy, intolerant state- 10 days with someone helping out may not end well....

Kids are...OK. Looking forward to having me back to my usual self I think.

DH was sweet yestrday...he suprised me with a Christmas tree (I love them and we weren't going to get one where we are going home Dec 13th) and decorations (they are too funny...plastic ones from Canadian Tire) it was so thoughtful and cute! Of course I cried....twit! Of course he did wake me up 3 times with his snoring last night so that irritated me...I just want to sleep through the whole night again. He is flying to some interviews next week (another reason for his mom's impending visit) but I don't think we really want any of the jobs...we will have to wait and see I guess.

OK< so DS3 is wanting to draw now...hmmmm, sometimes it ends well, but then sometimes the drawing is on himself and the walls. Better run