Life on the rock

[MissCrabette]

I suppose it's about time I started a little blog on iMSN. I've been so busy lately and I need to catch up on everyone's stories. Until then, I'll post a little about what's been going on in my life.

I got married on April 23 and the wedding was really nice and pretty much all I thought it would be. I don't have all the photos yet but here are a few shots from the day. Excuse the unflattering shots.




























More about the island and everything else tomorrow. That was a lo of work for tonight.

[MissCrabette]

Rather than posting a whole bunch of photos of our little place, I think it's easier to just provide the link to the photo set for those who might be interested:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/misscra...7600210227911/

Believe it or not, it's quite a bit nicer than we expected. A couple of our friends ended up renting an apartment we considered and it's much smaller and not as private as our little place. Ignoring the lack of a few cabinet doors and the sad state of the bathroom mirror, the place is decent and that's all we need for the next year and a half. Many families live on the other end of the island where they have marginally nicer houses which have spectacular views. Lovely, but not $500 extra worth of lovely in my opinion.

The island is small (5 square miles) but I'd been warned that it's very hilly and relying on walking alone may not be a good idea. It's not until we got here that we realized just how hilly it is. dd to that the heat and humidity and you can imagine how much I dread going to work or shopping. The car isn't here yet and apparently there were some problems with it before it was loaded onto the boat. It's a long story and something I'm not too happy about so it will have to wait.

People here are absolutely great. Everyone says hi to everyone, everyone knows everyone. It's like a big family.
Of course, that also means that everyone knows if you as much as scratch your butt, but I'm fine with that. I feel safe here walking to and from work, even after dark (though Andrew always walks with me in the evening).

Work has been... challenging. I work at sort of a business center and the range of services it offers is huge. From regular business services such as internet access, copying, faxing, scanning, telephone calls, mailbox services, cargo services, to car insurance, catalog ordering, poster, business card, and invitation design, and even car rental. This is the first time in my life I've handled cash and I quickly learned that my brain is simply not wired in such a way that I could give change in my sleep. Not only that but they also deal in two currencies here and people often mix them. Talk about a headache! There's so much for me to learn and I'm on a trial period for now, which means that every mistake I make feels like it's hanging over my head until the final decision is made. The girl who worked the morning shift was fired shortly after I got there. Needless to say I'm a little worried about the prospect of losing this little job. Not only would it mean a loss of income, but it would feel terribly awkward on such a small island.

I guess this is it for now. I'll write more tomorrow.

Oh, here are a few photos of a little visitor we had this morning.


Iguana knocking on our door


Anyone in there?


I'm out of here


Camera shy iguana


Camouflaged

[MissCrabette]

Not much has been happening lately. I think we're coming up with a routine, which is both sad and sort of sweet.

Work is still crazy, although she doesn't seem to hate me or anything. I'm stil learning a lot, even if it's from my mistakes. There's this handbook where most of the stuff I do is explained in detail, but there's no replacement to actually doing something for the first time. I can (and have ) read all about x procedure but when the time comes to do it and the client is tapping his foot, I find it hard to say "please hold while I look up how to do x."

The other area where she drives me crazy is design. She designs posters, business cards, brochures, tickets, you name it. I try to immitate her style as much as I can just so she doesn't give me any grief about my work, but she never seems quite happy with what I do. I totally understand the feeling , but I'm basically copying her work and she still finds flaws with everything I do. That's too plain, that's too busy, that's not bold enough...

Today I'm off because it's Ascension Thursday. It's nice to have some peace and quiet and I'm really looking forward to my week off in June. I'm coming up to the US for my citizenship interview and I can't wait to see my family and to get a break from my boss.

Andrew's been studying a lot these past couple of weeks. I do all my chores around the house, I surf the internet for a good while, and he's still not done studying. On several occasions I've gone to bed by myself. I know it's normal but I just never had the chance to experience this reality of med school until now. Last night he had a mock anatomy lab practical, in preparation for his first practical on Friday. I had no idea when he'd be back home and I found myself circling the living room, wondering when I could expect him back and when I should start cooking. I've read countless times in all your posts about how you never know when your significant others will be home, yet it didn't seem to register with me until I was put in that situation.

Life here isn't too bad. Sylvia was the first one to tell me that I'll have it much easier than her and I totally agree. The quality of life here is pretty good. It's a clean and safe touristy island. Sure, food is expensive, but you can find pretty much anything you'd want. There's also the water conservation issue but we haven't had any problems yet. The main thing I thought I'd have a problem with was not being able to flush toilet paper, and yet I find that's not something we even think about anymore. The only thing I'm missing is my car, but that should arrive here shortly and then life will be just about perfect.

I should probably get off my butt and go do some laundry, but that involves asking our landlady to open the garage door for me and I don't look presentable yet. Oh well, I really should go be a good wife now

:happyrolling:

[MissCrabette]

Wow, it's been so long since I last updated my jorunal and so much has happened.

First of all, I quit my job on Monday. :thud: I struggled with this decision, but in the end I think it's the right choice for me. The job wasn't what I wanted and I came home stressed from work and took it out on Andrew. I grew up with my mom taking out her frustrations from work on me and I don't want history repeating. I was reluctant to let go and stay home (for now) because I, like Rachel, feel that I have to be doing something in order to deserve praise. In the end I decided that this was hardly a praise worthy job, the salary was pathetic, and the stress was too much for minimum wage.

So now I'm a housewife. Only I don't have any wifely skills. I've been working on my cooking skills and I'm proud to say I made delicious chicken teriyaki with Mexican rice the other night. :mmm: Maybe this whole cooking business is not so tough to get a hang of after all. The apartment is small enough that I don't feel it takes a lot of work to keep neat and clean. The only place I have avoided tackling is the bathroom.

On Saturday Andrew and I attended a Significant Others of Saba luncheon that was held at a local restaurant. That was lots of fun and I enjoyed meeting all the medical families. The two of us even won a nice little dinner for two as result of a game we all played during the luncheon. You know, the kind where you have to get as many names of people who are described by various statements on a sheet of paper. I'm actually surprised because I normally think of myself as rather shy, not chatty, but I guess I've been stepping out of my comfort zone lately. I'd like to think I've made a couple of friends here and I definitely don't feel alone. I have people to talk to if need be and this has definitely come in handy this past week when I was struggling with my decision to quit.

I guess this is it for now. I will be coming to the US in less than a week so that I can attend my citizenship interview. Hallelujah! This is the last step in the very long journey we started over seven years ago.

[MissCrabette]

I'm giving this journal business another try, mainly because I'd like to have some sort of record of our time here.

School is out for two weeks and apparently he survived the first semester very well. I'm really proud of him because he did great in school but didn't let school take over our lives. I'm also glad that his anatomy lab days are mostly over. I say mostly because he's next semester's head TA for anatomy lab. That's good and all but I really can't wait for the days when the smell of formaldehyde will be but a distant memory.

We experienced our first hurricane scare and we finally have a well stocked hurricane kit. I am ashamed to admit that I had all the information needed to put such a kit together but I neglected to do so until the reality of Dean could no longer be denied. On the bright side, we're nice and ready for whatever else is coming our way in the following two hurricane seasons. According to the locals the last hurricane that hit the island was Lenny in 1999 and I'd like for it to stay that way.

Now that Andrew's out of school for a couple of weeks, he's been really into hiking and pushing for me to join him on his daily (yes, daily) hikes. Unfortunately I'm more than a little bit out of shape and I don't enjoy this nearly as much as he does. I can't stand the hills, the heat, the humidity. I hate it. I want to move the Alaska and never have to sweat again in my life. I was never one to tolerate heat very well and I always said that you can always add another layer of clothing if it's cold out but you really can't peel your skin off in the scorching heat. However, I'm willing to give this another try and my plan is to follow the walking plan for beginners on the about.com website. I'll start small and do a little more each week.

Since I no longer have a job I've been focusing more on cooking, reading, and the significant other group here at the school. I am going to be this upcoming semester's treasurer and I'll also be the one to welcome the new members and their families to the island. I can't wait because I have so many ideas and I'm really looking forward to introducing others to this island. Maybe it's because we had a less than stellar welcome and I've been thinking of so many ways to improve on that. The spouse in charge of welcoming us to Saba was sick at the time and her husband was the one who knocked on our door with a bag full of a few basic things that the group had put together. No island tour, no nothing. Just "here it is, welcome to Saba and good luck." No offense to him because it was not his job to do it but I'd have expected someone else to step in and do a little more than that. This semester I plan to drive people around, show them the stores, the government building, the phone and electric company, the banks, the two lonely ATMs, make myself available for any questions they may have while they're getting accustomed to this whole new world. To sum it up, I want to make them feel welcome and included in the group from the moment they step foot on this rock.

In other news, I survived a father in law visit and it wasn't too bad. I somehow (thanks mom!) got roped into promising we'd go visit the in-laws this winter and this is not exactly a happy prospect for me. Everyone says it's the nice thing to do and that it's just something you HAVE to do as a married person, but I'm at a rebellious stage where I want to say "to hell with it all, I'm not doing anything I don't enjoy." Unfortunately, I know better than that.

Lastly, there is something that's been bugging me for a while. I even considered posting this on the general forums but I changed my mind because it may sound waaaay judgmental. There's someone I am friendly with (I wouldn't necessarily call her a friend yet because it takes me a LONG time before I call someone a friend) and I'm having a very hard time coming up with ways to express my opinions on a few things I've been noticing. Maybe it's a good idea that I don't go into details but it has to do with her child's sleep pattern and nutrition (or lack of) throughout the day. It feels like I can't say anything because I don't have children of my own and many people are quick to dismiss us folks who haven't procreated just yet. On second thought maybe I should give details, so that Kris or anyone else doesn't think I'm pointing fingers at those people whose kids go to bed a couple of hours late and who eat mac and cheese. No. What I'm talking about is a child who does not go to bed until the wee hours of the morning and who routinely sleeps past noon the following day. A child who NEVER has breakfast or lunch because the mother claims she is not hungry until dinner time. Maybe I am just a sour judgmental childless b****, but I don't think this is normal. :huh: Maybe I should delete all this and pretend that all is peachy and she's a wonderful mom who's trying her best. But I don't buy it. Maybe I'll get slammed for thinking that this would never in a million years happen to me when in reality this has happened to everyone and they're just not saying it out loud. I'd like to think that this is the unfortunate exception but I've been wrong before.

I really shouldn't end on such a negative note, so here's a little something nice.


Another gorgeous day in the Caribbean.

[MissCrabette]

Re: Life on the rock

A lot has happened since I last wrote and visited this forum. Wow, I wonder how I stayed away for so long. I'm going to have to do lots of catching up here.

Andrew and I have visited both sets of parents in Ecuador and the in the US. We managed to squeeze all this into two weeks and I'm all travelled out now.

Our first stop was Ecuador, and let me tell you that Ecuador is freezing in December. I was warned it would get chilly at night, but goodness gracious, was it cold. To top it off people there don't routinely heat their homes so I was constantly shivering and trying to keep my hands warm. His parents now live in this humongous mansion on a huge property surrounded by a 20 ft tall fence. The picture wouldn't be complete if I failed to mention the ridiculous security system and the fact that they have a gardener and a maid/cook who live on the property. Holy schmoly! Gag me now. No, really.

I probably mentioned this before and I know I should be happy and not complain, but it pisses me off so much that their contribution is so small given their lifestyle. My parents worked their butts off to put me through college with minimal loans. My mom took a second job at a department store when money was tight and they saved, saved, saved. I don't think there will ever be enough words to express how thankful I am for what they did for me. I know very well that not every parent is like that, but it's hard to not see this as a punishment for our marriage when they were covering not only all his living and education costs, but also various trips, gadgets, and an allowance before he dared to leave their side.

On the upside, they both treated me very nicely when I was there and they started to ask about me more often when they talk to him online. I do hope they get over themselves soon and realize that I'm far from the worst thing that could've happened to their precious son.

Baltimore was a heck of a lot nicer and I definitely enjoyed that part of our trip more. The only thing that was missing was the snow. We got to see my parents, our pets, the extended family, and many of our friends. Now I can't wait to be done here and return home this December.

Speaking of going home, two student wives returned home earlier than anticipated. One of them got pregnant and is expecting a baby in late April/early May. She decided she'd get better medical care at home and it would be a lot easier for her and the baby. Her husband is due home mid April so they won't be separated for too long. The other girl left with the whole family for academic reasons and the guy is looking into going to some other school. Oh well, I wish them all the best. :huh:

So now I'm more or less all alone. Sure, there's the spouses group but I never clicked or hung out much with any of the other people. Luckily I don't have that much free time anymore this semester because I'm babysitting for one of Andrew's classmates. She has the cutest one year old girl I'm taking care of while she's in school. This was all quite unexpected but it came at a time when I had "baby" on the brain. I didn't do a good job of selling myself when she came looking for me, wondering if I'd do this. I had never babysat a baby and I only just changed my first diaper a week ago. I told myself that if I couldn't do this, then there was no sense in planning to have a baby anytime soon. Well, it turns out I can do this just fine, probably because she's a vary happy and easy going baby. I can only hope my baby will be the same.

Speaking of that, yes, I'm almost 100% sure that we'll be trying for a summer of 2009 baby. I examined all our options and I think this would work out the best. We'll be spending a few months at my parents while he does some of his core rotations and I'll be able to get some help from my mom during that time. Andrew's more worried about the later stages, rather than the newborn period. However, I'm more concerned about the lack of sleep and the "newness" of it all during the first few months. We'll see how this works out.

Well, I think this is about it. I really hope I stick around this time and I don't get sidetracked. I really did miss all of you girls (and guys).

[MissCrabette]

Re: Life on the rock

I felt the need to explain my beef with his parents' financial contribution because I just realized how it can be seen as entitlement.

When I moved to the US at 18 I did not expect much from my new step dad. I certainly did not expect him to take me in and treat me like his own daughter, better than my biological dad ever did. He could've easily washed his hands of me once I finished high school, but he and my mom worked their butts off to put me through college.

His parents, on the other hand, while making twice as much as my parents, were benefiting from having to pay no taxes on her income (non resident alien with diplomat status) AND were fortunate enough to have her employer pay for Andrew's college. Yes, all of it. So their contribution was zero. In the meantime he was getting a monthly allowance I could only dream of and going on various trips to all sorts of exotic places. I worked for my pocket money.

Fast forward to their move to Ecuador. Everything was paid for by them. School, books, trips, living expenses, even a monthly allowance. He wanted to do research in Miami? All costs covered, no questions asked.

Now, after his decision to switch schools and get married, it feels like he's getting a fraction of all that. I'm basically putting him through med school with much less than half of the cost of all this being covered by them. Much less. It's not even an issue of money because we're doing alright, but the gesture bothers me. It's almost like a punishment. Did I mention that my parents and I never got an RSVP from them for the wedding? Did I mention that Andrew and I never got a wedding gift from them? Not even a card to congratulate us. Nothing. When his dad visited us on the island I showed him our wedding photo album and he scoffed, barely looking at a couple of photos.

Maybe I look at things this way because I was lucky to have parents who cared for me and maybe spoiled me to a degree. I know I'd do the same for my kids. I also know they were doing the same for him and as much as this looks like an issue of entitlement, it's more of an issue of respect to me. I don't want their money as much as I want to know that they accept me and that they don't think I am a mistake. And a stupid Christmas Eve speech about how I am now their daughter doesn't do much to warm me up when their actions say otherwise.

[MissCrabette]

Re: Life on the rock

We've been living here for close to a year and I'm glad to say that we have only a little over 8 months left. I'm counting down our time here to the day. No, it's not like I hate it here or anything.

There's really no other place for me to write this since I'm sure the school officials would be all over it. Sure, I could write it in a journal but then I'd feel stupid talking only to myself.

First of all, let me just say that it's a great school and there are some brilliant people here. I know what you're thinking, it's the Caribbean and it's full of people who didn't succeed in the US. To their defense, not everyone had their act together during college and at least 45% of the students here are Canadian. Apparently Canadians struggle to get into med school with 3.8 and 3.9 GPAs so they find it easier to come down to the Caribbean.

Now onto the bashing... Here are some things I've learned during my stay here.

It's ALL about the school and students have no say in anything. That means no going to admin to complain about anything at all. It means keeping a very low profile because absolutely anything you say or do will go in your permanent file. This file will be eventually reviewed by the clinical rotations coordinator who will make sure you don't get any of the school's better rotations. Luckily we've learned this from other people's experiences. Whew!

The attrition rate is nowhere near what they advertise. If they tell you fairytales about 5% attrition rates, you should know they're lying through their nose. It's probably more like 5% during each of the 5 basic sciences semesters and who knows how high after that. Now that's not to say that all the people leaving do so because they have failed. Some discover medical school isn't for them and they'd rather be doing research or going back to being a nurse or a PA back home. Some quit for health reasons, some because of their spouses. Then, to be fair, many of them leave because they've failed or because they're about to fail. Some of these students may end up transferring to a less well known school.

You are at the mercy of the locals. When you come down to the island you will be told that the school will be vouching for you but they will only do so until you get in trouble. DO NOT get caught doing anything remotely shady, or you will find yourself escorted to the airport by the local police. All your studying and loans will have been for nothing and it won't matter if you're guilty of anything or not. On top of it all, you will now have to say that you've been dismissed from a medical school in the past, if you ever decide to apply to a different school.

This is related to the previous paragraph. Do not come down here thinking it's a party school. They do not so random drug tests every week and testing positive for anything is reason for dismissal.

You will not know where you will be going and what you'll be doing in clinicals until about 3 weeks away from finishing basic sciences. The supposed reason behind this is that you could still be failing and this information is on a need to know basis. There's also a fear that clinical sites will be purchased by SGU or Ross if they're made public, as has happened in the past. You'll see the same set of 20 or so hospitals being discussed on the island and on forums, only to find out that there are twice as many rotation sites available. You won't know where until you're just about done on the island. This can be infuriating for a control freak like me, but I guess I can see where they're coming from.

You won't get 100% accurate information from the spouses organization about life on the island. Having been through the research process themselves, they know that if they'd heard all the bad things before deciding to come here, they probably wouldn't have done it. I try to be somewhat honest with newbies, but I also don't want to scare them away. There's a fine line between making sure someone knows what to expect and telling them all the island's dirty secrets before they're ready. I guess it's a bit like childbirth and surgical residencies. Nobody would do them if they knew exactly what they were getting into.

I could probably write a book about this but I'll stop here for now. I need a break and our vacation can't come too soon.

[MissCrabette]

Re: Life on the rock

Juancho E. Yrausquin Airport

Look who made it onto Travel & Leisure's list of The World's Scariest Runways. It's none other than Saba's own little runway. The picture really doesn't do it justice. You have to see it to believe just how short it is. Who's up for a visit?

[MissCrabette]

Re: Life on the rock

Third semester is coming to an end here on Saba and I can’t believe we’re so much closer to fifth semester. Final exam week starts today and, while a bit stressful, this is a very exciting time for most people. For some of the students it means they are about to go on break and relax a little bit before returning for another semester. For others it marks the end of their stay here on Saba. Fifth semester students are taking the Kaplan diagnostic exam today, which is followed by the basic sciences recognition ceremony. Good luck to all of you on this exam, the USMLE Step 1, and all your clinical rotations. You’ve come so far.

Not to ignore Andrew’s class, you show those shelf exams who’s boss!