blog is a funny word

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

I don't want to touch on the math wars too much-- last night Kate was crying and sobbing, because she doesn't "get" it, and I've explained it umpteen million times... She has dug herself quite a hole, and has a huge test today (she already took it, actually). This test she can not retake. Do or die time for her... I am frustrated beyond belief... She hasn't been going in for help with her teacher, her teacher hasn't informed me of this even though she said she would if Kate stopped showing up, and now Kate is really in bad shape. She is just too far behind, and has been neglecting the whole situation for too long...

In other news, I've had morning sickness the past few days. I am officially, I think, past the phase where I should have morning sickness... And I really haven't had "morning" sickness so much previously- more like all day nausea. I *hope* this is actually just morning sickness and not the nasty bug...

Steven has been home for 2 days this week. And of course, it is his "top dog" week at school, where he gets to participate in a special activity each day of the week. His teacher puts this on for the kids in the class- each kid gets only 1 week to be "top dog". Poor guy... He has a fever-- today 103, yesterday 102, the day before 104... Sound familiar? I think this has been the *worst* month for us as far as lingering illnesses. No one has been sick at the same time, and when you spread it out over so many people... we have been sick since the first week of February.

So that's what's going on. I am extremely stressed about Kate and her math. Extremely. I don't do failure well. I just don't know what to do, and we can't afford a tutor unfortunately. I think she's developing some pretty severe test anxiety... I just remember 6th grade as being... fun. I don't remember the stress like she is under, or the major projects, essays, etc. I didn't do the math she's doing until I was in 8th grade- and that was the most accelerated option available. I remember struggling through, but being able to do it all... Now she looks at a problem, and it doesn't matter if we just went over a very similar problem, she immediately says, "I can't do it... I don't know what to do" and her brain shuts down. Uggh.

Why do the powers that be want the kids to grow up so fast and do so much already? Steven's math group (he is 6) is adding 3 digit numbers together, with carrying over. Isabel's math group has to visualize 3-D objects and correctly count the number of sides on really crappy drawings. Both of them have been introduced to multiplication, and are expected to be learning their subtraction/addition math facts at home using flash cards. They have weekly homework packets, special projects, and weekly spelling tests with such words as "through" and "thought". It just seems like school is all work, work, work... Not enough color, color, color...

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

Friday afternoon I went down with the flu. What a bummer. I was housebound for the entire week with Steven, then Friday I got sick and pretty much stayed in my room until today when I had to come out to take care of the kids. To pass the time, I watched 2 different versions of Pride and Prejudice, Becoming Jane, and then rewatched Pride and Prejudice (the Keira Knightly one) with the director commentating to keep me company. Mac was not eager to hang out with me in the room. He doesn't particularly care for that genre. Mac rented a "really good movie" for us to watch together. It was "No Country for Old Men". Can you say shock to the system??? Pride and Prejudice makes me feel better- I only watch that type of movie when I'm sick! Mac's choice??? I just didn't get it. I know it won awards and stuff, but blech. I just don't go for assassin movies. Except for the Bourne stuff. At least you LIKE Jason Bourne.

Thank God Mac is on a light rotation now, and can be home by 4 or 5 each night. I think Izzy may be coming down with something, but she doesn't have a temp, so... :huh: Maybe she just wants to be part of the club? Kate was definitely battling something. She didn't get the flu, but had the sore throat and other problems. She has dug herself into such a pit for math that she has to go to school- to take her exams and retakes! They have piled everything onto the kids for this week, after having literally 3 weeks where there were no homework assignments earlier on in January. :huh: I am just hoping that we are not sick for traveling on Saturday! Ugggh. I am still tired. Flu plus pregnancy plus asthma... I'm a mess. I couldn't even walk up the stairs without having a coughing fit (asthma). Mac finally took pity and wrote a script for me for augmentin to clear up the sinusitis I've had for so long. I was about ready to get some from a street dealer if my darling husband didn't comply. Of course, I get sick when the clinic is closed, so the only option for a "legit" doctor visit would be the ER. :huh: Oh well. Finally, after 3 doses of augmentin, I don't have the terrible sinus pressure. On Friday I told Mac I just wanted him to drill a hole in my sinuses so that they can drain. Yes, I'm a wonderful patient. Actually I'm the *biggest* weenie in the world. I hate being sick. And I tend to bring others down with me... I'm pretty good at giving birth though! It's quick- there's an end in sight... I don't complain too much, I'm not a screamer...

Kate takes a mega important retake today for one of many math tests... I'm nervous (that she'll remember to take it) and hopeful that she'll improve her grade... I wasn't able to drill her like I usually do-- I make up practice tests and everything usually... :huh: We shall see. I did contact a "peer tutor" from the neighborhood who is willing to come help Kate 2 days a week! I'm so excited. This girl is in 8th grade and runs a little babysitting operation with some friends. She is kind of nerdy-looking: perfect for a math tutor. Kate thinks she's "nice" but doesn't know her well because of the vast age difference. I'm hopeful that a little peer tutoring will help Kate, and take some pressure off of yours truly.

In other news, I booked some tickets for going back home this summer. I really felt I had no choice. It *will* be a very difficult trip. I will be very pregnant- and probably with back problems since my back already hurts. Grrrrrrr. My mom told me over the phone that my Grandpa is surviving by setting "little goals" for himself. One goal: get to their anniversary party. It was yesterday. Mission accomplished. Next goal? Make it to our visit for Easter break. That's coming up in one week! (My laundry pile is atrocious. Maybe I'll just pack dirty laundry and have my mom do it! So college, I know...) Next goal? Our visit in the summer! So Grandpa's definitely planning on it, and I guess I just have to buck up and do it. I'm hoping DH can get some leave to come and accompany us back on the return flight. Me 36 weeks pregnant traveling with all 4 kids will not be a pleasure, with or without him. But I think I will not survive if he's not there. My mom can't help, since they'll be getting ready for the safari, I think. Anyway, it would not occur to her to offer to help, and I think Mac should be able to swing it. Plus I feel much less guilty yelling at Mac to do stuff than my mom. It's not totally intentional, it's just being 36 weeks pregnant... I know I'll be yelling at someone!

Anyway, that about sums it up!

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

I feel like I should follow up after my intense complaining about Kate and her math. She ended up getting high C's on her retakes and a mid-C on her Unit test (huge exam, worth mega points, can not be retaken.) Anyway, I am somewhat pleased because her grade has been brought up to a solid C, and there is only 1 test yet to be graded. (I can't be entirely pleased because had she nailed the retakes she'd have a "B".) Even if she gets an "F" on the last exam, she's going to earn a C this quarter.

I did go ahead and set up peer tutoring for her here in our house with a neighbor kid- the 8th grader. Kate says that she has a different colored hair every day, and that she's 2 inches too tall to be classified as a midget. :huh: Anyway, ANYTHING to get me off the hook a couple days a week! (This is not the same 8th grader I thought- but she seems responsible, and anyway, if it doesn't work out it's pretty easy to fire her!) I'm going to use the money my mom gave me for my birthday to pay for the tutoring. Usually birthday money just gets thrown into the "general budget" and applied towards the "general deficit" in the household. This money will be converted to $10 bills for the tutor. I'm attempting to purchase my sanity.

Kate's math teacher's husband is going to have a kidney transplant, and will miss the last 10 days of the quarter. So they don't have any more exams. I can not imagine having young kids at home, a sick husband, and about 150 whiny middle school math students! Throw in their obnoxious parents (I confess) and what a stressful life. I hope his surgery goes well.

I helped with Luke's Easter party at his preschool today. Those kids are so cute- until you try to get them to sit down or something... The magical preschool teacher can do that. She knows all the songs! It's fun to see Luke there, though. What a ride- a year ago I couldn't imagine him actually going to a preschool without serious breakdowns on a daily basis. He's growing up! He's even making little friends.

I won't be blogging for a while. I have to get ready for our trip back to Washington, and my laundry pile is still quite daunting! Not to mention I have to locate our suitcases... (and duct tape them back together, most likely. )

Happy Easter everyone!

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

Somethings been on my mind, and it has to do with Kate, of course! She has undergone so many changes in the past year or so. It has truly been a whirlwind. As I have been working on updating my photos, editing the digital ones and what not, I have finally reached the 2006 era. In photos at least, she looked happy. She joked around, sometimes enjoyed hanging with her family, did not want to live in the basement room-- she wanted to be close to "the rest of the family" instead. She had problems, of course, she's always been extremely strong willed and exasperating. But for the most part, happy kid.

A photo journal:

These picture is from the summer of 2006. She was going into 5th grade, still in elementary school.

Age: 10.5
Interests: Reading, especially Harry Potter books, drawing, writing. No sports.
Favorite TV: Disney channel- especially Zach and Cody, High School Musical, and Hannah Montana.
Fashion: Colors OK. Jeans a must. Didn't like wearing shorts- unless they were very long.
Favorite internet: Disney.com... where she used to play a game where she collected chairs.

Notice how she's joking around with us- and not afraid to physically touch other people. We can't get her to even stand near us for pictures now. And she will strongarm you if you try to hug her-- and she is quite strong!!!

This picture was taken at the Olympic Rain Forest in western Washington state- such a cool place!



At "ThomasLand" in western Maryland:





Next picture is from Halloween 2006. She's in 5th grade, making new friends, getting slightly more "sassy" and slightly more "cool", but still willing to hang with the fam, when we force her!

The only thing that's changed as far as her interests, etc., is that she's moving from the High School Musical obsession into the Pirates of the Caribbean obsession. It's all about "I love Jack" T-shirts now.

This picture is from Boo at the Zoo. She was a midieval princess. (But still a "princess"! I was happy!)



Now moving further along in 5th grade. She was very successful in school, partly I think because her teacher was quite ready for retirement, had two very active sons who no doubt needed her help at home with their homework, and so Kate literally had no homework. She did get straight A's, and high marks on behavior in class, which previously had always been an issue.

This is a picture from the Disney trip in May. She had a *great* time. She loved it more than anyone else. She went to the park with Mac one night- for about 4 hours. He's such a good sport- he rode Pirates of the Caribbean about 4 times with her, and then Space Mountain, etc., etc. They had a great time, and she was *excited* to be able to spend special time with Dad back then. Contrast that to now, where if we even mention spending time with Dad to go eat dinner or something, anything, she says "NOOOOOO" and practically starts crying. :huh:




At this point in her life, she was full into the Pirates obsession. She watched the movies over and over and over. She LOVED Johnny Depp. She used her hard-earned money to buy a Johnny pillowcase and an Orlando Bloom pillowcase! She decorated her walls with newspaper articles about the movies! Her on line experience was pretty much limited to playing the Pirates of the Caribbean game.

Then... Summer, and the start of 6th grade. She was initially angry with us for "forcing" her to go to the "stupid school for smart people". Then she met her friends. And she entered the lovely stage of development of the pre-teen, including the "the world is my friends" mentality. If she had her friends with her, it was wonderful. If she was forced to do something with the family, it was pure torture.

Age: 11.5
Interests: Reading, writing, Manga (Japanese cartoon books), drawing Manga, playing with my cell phone, and she started to like sports.
Favorite TV: Mostly anything I'm watching, but she likes American Idol b/c her friends talk about it-- she doesn't particularly think anyone is a good singer, but in order to fit in... She likes watching anime, too. She despises Hannah Montana.
Fashion: At the start of the year, all black. Black was cool. Any color was not acceptable. She found 1 pair of jeans that she really likes, and she insisted on wearing them every day. Now, at age 12, she is branching back out into colors a little. And she rotates her jeans and shorts (thank goodness).
Favorite internet: She likes to IM several friends while on the phone to one while watching and listening to YouTube in the background. She listens to Japanese pop songs over YouTube mostly, but there is also a popular spoof series going around that's put on by some boys from Hawaii, with titles like "How to be a Gangster" and "How to be Emo."

Finally, to show the transition, a couple of pictures from Halloween this past year. She was full on into the "goth" look.



And from Boo at the Zoo this year (2007):



It has been a whirlwind with her. But it has been reassuring to look back so short a time through pictures and remember when...

It kind of gives me hope!!!

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

My trip down memory lane was nice... And then reality comes crashing down. I had my second OB appointment yesterday with my family practice doctor. I had bloodwork done (I need bloodwork every time). I have an antibody problem which clinically should not be a problem, but it's something that OBs and perinatologists get excited about, and so now I've been kicked over to the OB division of the hospital instead of the family practice clinic. The OB people will be very *diligent* about my weight gain, etc., etc., and they don't allow any sibs at appointments whatsoever. So I'm going to be finding a lot of babysitting apparently. The OB people are at the hospital, with the world's worst designed parking garage ever, where I'll be circling and circling and circling... Such frustration.

This is my problem in a nutshell. I lack an antigen in the Rheseus group. The antigen I lack is "E", called, literally, the "big E" antigen. When I delivered Kate, I was sensitized to this antigen, and my body started making antibodies to it. The antibodies are measured through titers of my blood (lots of blood samples). With the twins, my antibody levels held relatively steady throughout the pregnancy, going from a 1:2 titer to 1:8, at which point we met with a hot shot perinatologist from Seattle. He said basically no worries. My titer was low, clinically there haven't been serious complications to this exact antibody, but that it could become a problem with subsequent pregnancies. He said probably it wouldn't be a serious problem until perhaps pregnancy number 8 or so. (We are on pregnancy number 4-- plus 2 miscarriages, but I don't think they "count" towards the artificial cieling of 8.)

So the worst case scenario of this antibody problem would be that my blood starts attacking baby in untero, as evidenced by increasing titers of antibody levels in my blood. If this happens, they may feel it necessary to follow the baby's blood levels or something through amnio-- done perhaps as often as once a month. (Needless to say, I don't want amnio. Not at all.) If the baby is in severe distress, they would need to do a blood transfusion- which apparently they can do somehow in utero. This is the worst case scenario, and clinically none of it has been called for when the mother's only problem is this antibody that I am producing, so I really am not all that concerned about it.

Right now the nutshell of it all is that I'm most likely going to be kicked into the "high risk" category for pregnancy. More appointments, more ultrasounds, more finding babysitting, all while Mac is starting in on a general surgery intern marathon for 3 months! And soccer just started, and of course the games mostly all conflict, so I need to find rides for someone every Saturday and decide which game I'll go to.



I'm sure glad that tutor starts with Kate next week! Hopefully THAT will be a plan I hatched that works out beautifully.

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

3 posts in one day...

I just talked to the OB doctor- my titer is up to 1:32! I never had a titer that high before, ever. DH needs to go to the hospital (with the horrible parking lot) to get bloodwork done. I need to go to get an ultrasound study on Monday. (For someone who's had as many ultrasounds as I've had, this is not fun. I'm sick to death of ultrasounds. I just want to know the sex of the baby, and that's it!) The only time available is-- right at the same time as Steven has a playdate scheduled. So I'll be making calls about that.

DH doesn't even know anything about this all!!! He's taking an anesthesia test...

I didn't want pregnancy drama... Who ever does, though?

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

How much is too much?

Or am I even allowed to ask that, as a mom of 4 soon to be 5?

Yesterday was... a total drain. DH took call, which is extra smart since he was starting a brand new rotation and had no familiarity with any of the patients. I felt very sorry for him having to be there at 3:30 to get ready for pre-rounds, then rounds, knowing that he would get no sleep for a long time. Of course, I know better than to tell him I feel sorry for him, lest he take advantage of my "better" moments...

So I was on my own yesterday for the first full day of springtime madness. There was no school, since our school district loves 3-day weekends which lengthen the school year by a whole week, at least. It drives me nuts. Anyway, this was my day:

11 am: get kids to eat lunch, even though they weren't hungry.
11:30 am: try to get kids to get ready to go to our various playdates
11:55 am: out the door
11:57 am: back in the door- we forgot Steven's epipen
12:05 pm: drop Steven off at his friend's house for his first ever "alone" playdate-- no sister. He was a little nervous, and even asked if Izzy could come along. Turns out he had a fabulous time playing nothing but "boy games".
12:15 pm: drop Luke and Isabel off at my friend's house
12:45 pm: arrive at the medical clinic to pick up my medical records to take to my ultrasound study appointment with the high risk people; short on time so I had to illegally park and run to get my records, then back to my car in 5 minutes flat. (Applause for the pregnant woman inserted.)
12:55 pm: arrive at the appointment
1:30 to 3 pm: appointment- world's longest ultrasound... ever.
3:15 pm: drive back to pick up the kids
3:45 pm: pick up Luke and Isabel. Isabel lost her shoes, and socks of course, in my friend's house.
3:55 pm: pick up Steven. He had a great time. Success!
4:40 pm: out the door to take Kate to her soccer practice.
5 to 6:30 pm: Kate plays soccer, the kids and I traipse through mud puddles trying out the wet, dirty playsets. There were four of them. Finally we resort to chasing birds in an empty field. Everyone gets very muddy.
7 pm: Eat dinner at McDonalds, quickly!
7:30 pm: Drop Kate off at her drama class
7:45 pm to 8:15 pm: Kids get baths- they were too dirty to skip.
8:15: Leave to go pick up Kate from drama- kids wearing PJs.
8:45 pm: Back home finally
9 pm: Kids to bed. HooRah.
Then dishes, dishes, dishes, etc.

Today the after school activities only involved taking Kate to a swim practice, and since Mac was sleeping upstairs I left the kids with the TV (babysitter) and just took Kate by myself. I watched her skip out on doing 50 m of the workout, just by sort of slipping into the line of kids that had already swam. I was so proud. I didn't have the energy to get out there and make her do her laps though-- yesterday I did make her run her extra lap for soccer practice. She tried to skip out on one then, too.

And now, Steven is at Tiger Scouts, and tomorrow Kate has youth group, and Thursday she has swimming and the kids have soccer. Then Friday, Kate gets tutored while I watch my friend's hyper kids...

Spring has sprung... and bitten me right in the ***.

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

I haven't updated about the results of the ultrasound study... I think I'll do that here so that I can at least refer back to it. It's kind of a boring topic, so the short story is:

*I get to stay with my regular doctor for the time being for general care
*I need to go to the high risk clinic every 3-4 weeks to get checked out via ultrasound
*Right now, at about 18 weeks, the baby is growing fine, the u/s due date is 9/6/08, and they think it's a girl!

The long and boring of it...

DH and I spent the weekend snipping at each other. He was stressing because of the uncertaintly of the situation, I was stressing because I perceived that he was snipping at me for no good reason. It was a tense weekend. He did a literature search for the latest stuff on Anti-E alloimmunization problems in pregnancy, and there aren't a lot of articles, but the one he found really didn't do much to reassure us. Basically, my titer was so high as to be put in the "highest risk" group of the study, from which *all* the babies that had anemic problems were born. Of these pregnancies, 2 babies died specifically due to the anemic issues. Talk about a wake-up call for me. The anemia problems in this paper were all due to only anti-E, whereas previous papers we've read have usually had the sick babies being affected by other congenital problems. The paper that we read suggested the following care:

If the mom reaches a titer of 1:32 or greater, do amniocentesis or cordocentesis to check the baby's blood for signs of anemia. (My titer was at 1:32 already-- at only 17 weeks.) If the baby's cord hemoglobin is a certain level or lower, you need to do an intrauterine transfusion. Previous to 2001, the only way to measure the baby's hemoglobine was through the invasive procedures. There is a new ultrasound technology which measures the middle cerebral artery peak systolic velocity. Since this is a new technology, it's suggested in literature that it may be safer for the baby than the invasive procedures, but there are still question marks about it...

In my case, the doctor in the high risk clinic gave me the option of amnio or not. I chose not. DH and I were bickering about precisely this the whole weekend-- he wanted me to study up and argue with the doctor in order to keep away from amnio as long as possible. He was basically "pimping" me in a really aggressive, surgeon-like tone (so I thought) to make sure I had all the facts and my argument straight. Finally I told DH to shove it, and that I was trained as a kid to listen to the dawkter and respect his or her opinion. I trust the doctor to be reasonable with my case. Turns out, she was. She measured the cerebral artery peak systolic velocity via ultrasound, looked up the "normal" range, said my baby was well within the range, and that I could come back to the clinic in 3-4 weeks for a follow up and to be measured again. That's not to say that she will never recommend amnio or more invasive following of the baby, but as long as the u/s results are normal, I don't see her pushing anything on me.

The clinic also had a 3-D imagery thing, so we're able to see the baby more clearly. Very cool. And free. Kate pretty much freaked out when she saw the baby-- obviously the baby's not entirely formed yet- she's only about 18 weeks. The head looks sort of bumpy-ish. But she was sucking her thumb and moving around a lot.

Anyway, that's the technical stuff. I think I'll need to refer back to it later!!!

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

It is spring! I got a wicked sunburn on Saturday- my initiation burn into the season. I tried to explain to Mac what it's like to have a "real" sunburn, but it's hopeless. I am almost entirely Scandinavian, with some spatterings of French and British. He is about 3/4 Spanish, with some spatterings of Native American (as in indiginous Mexican groups- nothing that "counts" to the US gov't)... He doesn't really burn, but still expects sympathy when the back of his neck turns "a little red". Meanwhile, Kate got blisters all over her face! This burn was from our 4 hour soccer marathon- and it was a sort of windy/cool day, so I wasn't really thinking sunburn time. Now I'm starting to peel, so that's progress I guess... Thank goodness my regular "foundation" makeup has some SPF in it!

My goodness... What an incredibly boring post so far... Shall I describe the burning patterns in more detail?

Ummmmmm.... Besides that, the kids have been going outside as much as possible. It hasn't been that warm, and we've had lots of rain so it's muddy in our backyard mudpit, but at least going outside is an option on some days! Yay!

Kate's tutoring session was... interesting. I was babysitting my friend's kids, so I couldn't listen in on the tutoring much. It took Kate about 10 minutes to locate her homework page, while the tutor was sitting there. I felt like saying, "Tell Kate about your organizational system-- she needs help in that area too..." but I didn't say anything. I didn't want to embarrass Kate too much. Then Kate found her homework, the tutor explained things "in like 5 words" according to Kate, and they went through the sheet, and then I guess Kate dismissed her. After only 25 minutes or so. And I was outside watching the kids (all 5 of them) play. The tutor started walking away, and so I called out to her and asked if she wanted to be paid! Anyway, I told Kate to get more stuff together because I'm paying for the whole hour, and even tho' it's only $10 I don't expect much to be accomplished "in like 5 words." The teachers have spring fever, I think, so the pace of math is pretty slow right now. It will get frantic in a bit- they have their benchmarks to meet. Kate *has* to pull a B this quarter, or we're pulling her from the school and putting her in a regular one. That's the deal we made. If she's trending upwards, of course, we can take that into consideration...

I've felt the baby moving around a little. I've felt her off and on for about a week now. It's reassuring to feel- but still the movements are so light. I'm 18 weeks along, I think... I'm still in total denial about this situation. Luke is absolutely fascinated with the idea of a baby growing inside my tummy. He's been forcing Mac to read him the same book every night-- but he doesn't touch that book with me! He is telling me more and more about how he's getting bigger. He no longer cries when someone tells himi that he's growing up! This is progress. He's still my baby though. Even though he's going to be 4 in a month!

Obviously, nothing big is happening here. Mac is on general surgery now, so he's very busy. We are in the full spring season now- soccer, swimming, boy scouts, girl scouts, etc., etc. I feel exhausted, nauseated, and have heartburn a lot. Life moves on...

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

My mom called yesterday, and I've felt really "off" since then. I wonder if I am crazy, and perceiving things from what others say that's not real, or if I'm all of a sudden uber-sensitive... She is trying to arrange tix to come visit us in the summer. Previously, I told her after school's out would be better, but that we'd have swim team and other stuff going on too. So, she called and asked if the kids and I would like to go up to the lake house after school was out. Like, right after. The lake house is owned by my Grandma, and it's in upstate NY. It's about an 8 hour drive from us (at least--- much longer if a bug flies into Isabel's ear and we have to take her to an ER to try to get it out, only to have it crawl out right before the ER doc gets into the room, at which point he continues on a pointless exam and tells us she's perfectly healthy, which we know because the bug already flew out of her ear, but that's a story from a previous trip to the lake house that I'd rather not dwell on too much.) So, school gets out on a Thursday, and we have to be back by Sunday night because Steven starts a boy scouts camp on that Monday. And the lake is *freezing* in June-- way too cold to be enjoyed at all. And it's uncomfortable because I have to stay in the basement room with *all* the kids (and the spiders). So, I told her I didn't want to make that trip. She asked if Mac could be there. With a big sigh, because I've been through this a million times, I explained that he can't get leave, he won't be able to get leave, and that he'll be really busy the whole time because the hospital is in transition during June and July when the new interns arrive and the chiefs check out. Basically, it's a chaotic time, and no one gets to take leave, unless they are actually leaving for good... So then she goes on her little "the inefficiencies of military medicine tirade" to which I say "Uh huh" occassionally as I watch a blonde get kicked off of American Idol.

After that excitement, she asks me about the planned trip in the summer. I say, "I don't know if we can come, and I won't know for a long time." Tickets have been purchased, without insurance becasue I'm an idiot, and so I guess I'll pay the change ticket fee etc. if we can't go. Or else I'll count it a loss. But I can't do anything about that now so I don't need a stress out from her about how much money that will cost me. Her solution? Just to blow off whatever my doctors say and make the trip. Because they have hospitals with ultrasounds out there in her hometown. Nevermind that it's not near a military institute, and nevermind that if I needed any of the procedures that I may need I would have to go to Seattle to get them done anyway, because hometown hospital doesn't do intrauterine blood transfusions. This discussion prompts her to go off on another tangent about how military medicine is unfair, and how can they expect me to not go on vacation, etc., etc.

Then I try to explain to her the monitoring the high risk people are doing on the baby, but it's just a lost cause. I told her that I can't even predict if I'll be allowed to go or not. It just depends.

In truth, it's hard for me to get excited about the trip. Having lived here so long, where I have a list of things I WANT to do with the kids, it's hard for me to get into my hometown. It's small, run down, and big news is when Costco opened a new store, and when the Applebee's restaurant opened. (You had to wait to get a table for over a month... ) And I always end up doing a lot of babysitting of my sister's kids. (I suspect this may be why my mom likes me to visit-- at least on a subconsious level for her. Because then there's someone else there to entertain and feed them! And she can run out to her hair appointments, etc., while I'm at the house with the kids...) And when my kids drive her nuts, which happens after day 3 of the visit, she "encourages" us to go outside to play. She has a really nice backyard, with a playset, a pool, etc., but the kids get bored of that after a while. And I get bored watching 5 or 6 kids, breaking up fights, trying to keep the dogs in control, etc., etc. Meanwhile, raging allergies. And 8 months pregnant? Why in the world would I be anything but thrilled at the prospect of a vacation.

And of course, DH can't come. At all. My friends here don't get that. "You mean you travel alone?"

Yes, of course, my husband can't take off more than 6 days in a row. And he doesn't really get to choose the timing of those days, because he's the bottom of the totem pole. I've been traveling alone with the kids for over 4 years now. It's just part of my life, but it does suck. And maybe I'm getting too old for this.

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

Grrrrrrr. I just entered a big entry, and then Luke said something, and I hit the wrong button, and it's gone!!! Frustration.

Anyway, let's re-recap. On Saturday we had the soccer marathon. This time the games were at about the same time, and so thankfully DH was done with rounds and able to take the twins to their game, and I took Kate to hers. It was *hot*! Really hot. I guess that Isabel scored in her game! These are 1st graders, and so technically they aren't supposed to notice when someone scores, but it's still a big deal. They really don't seem to get it, though! Steven scored in a game earlier on... They both seem to have a great time playing, and so that's fun to see! Here is a picture of them playing:



And Luke watching from the sidelines:



Isabel is one of 2 girls on her team- and the teams they've played against have all been all boy. That doesn't stop her from getting in there! She's one of the most aggressive players, actually! One time Steven got "tripped" and did a faceplant. Izzy stopped to check on him, and help him up. That was sweet. I think had Izzy been the one doing a faceplant, Steven would've just kept on kicking! Oh well...

On Sunday we were going to skip church to go on a Cub Scout outing with Steven and his Troop. But, it was rained out. It was a hike, so it's a good thing it was canceled. Rather than go to church, we decided to take the opportunity to celebrate Mac's birthday. He wanted to go to Baltimore to go to the aquarium and then eat at the Rainforest Cafe. The kids were excited to do something different-- except for Kate who says it's "torture" to go to the aquarium because it's "so boring and we've been there a million times." Well, we have been there a lot, but she'd think it was torture to go anywhere with us, so... She was able to invite a friend, but the one she invited wasn't able to go... Her parents rarely let her do anything (this is also the friend who's mom 'disapproves' of me because I'm so young...) Anyway, such as life...

Here is a picture of Mac and the kids at the aquarium. At least Kate was present in the picture! Notice her boy-haircut. She *insisted* on having her hair cut that way. She showed the hairdresser a picture of what she wanted, basically trying to copy the hair style of the Japanese pop band she's currently obsessed with. She loves all things Japanese. She wants to live in Japan. But, the haircut, coupled with her usual attire of sweatshirts and jeans, has led to several mistaken identity cases where people think she's a boy. :huh: It'll grow out someday, I guess...

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

And now on the roller coaster that is the school year... We started this quarter out well enough. Kate "understood" her math and barely needed the tutor, so she told her that she didn't need help last Friday. Today I undertook my most dreaded of dreaded chores- checking Kate's grades on line. And her grade is steadily dropping in math... First test, 100% (on a retake). Second, 88%. Third, 82%. Fourth, 75%. I asked her why she sent her tutor home, again, today, and Kate just "didn't feel like doing math."

No kidding? Wow! That's too bad! I'm really sorry that you don't feel like doing math!

Grrrrrrr. In the meantime, she blew off an assignment in another class, dropping her to a C, and she totally is doing her best to screw up her Science grade. She didn't turn in something today, because she "didn't know it was due", and she got a D on a huge assignment earlier in the week, because she "didn't understand one part of it." This is the child who has been getting between 90-100 on every science assignment this year. :huh: She just may have sunk her grade beyond salvaging... or at least certainly to the point where every assignment is a must-ace one now...

So, we are on the downturn early this quarter. Usually it takes at least 4 weeks to get to this point. Our deal for math is that if she can't pull a "B", then she's being transfered to our local school. I know this may seem harsh, but we let her get by with C's the last 2 quarters, and it's just because she's screwing around being lazy. Her teacher lets them retake almost every test. If she actually were trying her hardest and still not able to get a "B", that would be one thing. But she's just not trying at all, actually. She can tell you just about every asinine detail about who likes whom, though.

And to solidify my position in her mind as "cruelest mom of them all", I did make her go to swimming yesterday, even though she was feeling "crampy" and didn't want to go at all. I told her to take some motrin and get going. She felt *much* better after exercising and after the motrin kicked in. Amazing stuff. I am not *totally* unreasonable, though. I gave her the choice of NOT going to swim practice-- if she wanted to instead hit her homework right away, and then go to bed at 7 pm. If you're too sick to swim, you're too sick for internet/tv, etc.

And then Isabel "stole" some stickers from yet another reward bucket in the classroom. She wanted to "make something pretty" with the stickers. Perfectly logical, to a 6 year old... But stealing again! Shoot me now, really. How many times can I "teach" the kids that their teacher's toys and stickers and pencils and miniscule erasers are there only for the teacher, and if she chooses to share her toys with the kids in the class, then great. How many different reward buckets are there in the classroom!? So I got to "discipline" Izzy on my own, since DH has been MIA except for the time yesterday when he was post-call, and barely there actually... It's amazing how he can sit down and literally nod off within 10 seconds. It's pretty scary.

I just want this year to end!!!

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

Tomorrow I have another ultrasound to measure for anemia... I have been getting progressively more and more nervous. If I don't feel the baby move enough, I think it's because she's too weak from anemia. Or something else is wrong, not even related to the blood incompatibility. Last night I felt really *tight* in my stomach/uterus area, and I thought I was going to start cramping. I am giving myself symptoms, I know, but I just wish this whole pregnancy were over already and the baby born healthy so I don't have to worry.

I tried to explain to my mother, yet again, what our situation is. She is married to a physician, and Mac talked to him in more technical doctor-speak, so I would hope that my dad could explain to my mom, but no, she likes to call me about once a week and ask me for updates. My only updates would happen at doctor appointments, and since I haven't had any... Well, anyway. I told her that most likely the reason my little bro was so very jaundiced (he needed to stay in the hospital an extra week or so) was because of this same blood incompatibility, because jaundice (like Luke had) is a really common outcome. The much less common outcome is actual anemia in the baby, requiring blood transfusions. So, hearing that, she said, "Oh then there's nothing to worry about! If it's just jaundice I can tell all my prayer partners to not worry any more!" :huh: OK, I guess... My sister was also on the phone (my parents are IN LOVE with speaker phones) and she told my mom to not tell them to stop praying, just in case.

Anyway, Mac is on call tonight. It's his last night on this team, and the next team shouldn't be any better. Should be worse actually, but at least he's taking a week of leave later on this month. (The kids are in school that week, so I have big plans for him to keep busy doing stuff around the house. :> )

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

My OB appt went fine, but I have so many follow ups (another ultrasound every 2 weeks as long as my titres don't increase and/or the ultrasound doesn't indicate any distress for the baby.) That's a lot of arranging babysitting. I used to complain about my non-stress tests for the twins-- back when I had babysitters readily available AND Mac was able to take sick leave from his government job to go to the non-stress tests with me. What was I complaining about??? :huh: Perspective...

Anyway, this 2-week ultrasound thing puts my planned vacation in serious jeopardy... I will ask my doctor on Thursday, even though I don't want to. I don't want to hear the answer, I guess... But information is power, right? If she says it's not a good idea to travel from 32 weeks to 35 weeks given my situation, and let's be real here, I'm pretty sure she'll say that, then I am out huge amounts of money for the non-refundable tickets... but I also get to suffer the guilt trips. First, from the twins and Luke who wouldn't get to have their summer basking by my mom's pool, playing outside whenever they feel like it, etc., etc. Second, from my mom, who now is pretty much convinced that my blood issue is not a big deal. And that may be the case at the end of this pregnancy, but someone forgot to memo the doctors I guess. So, she will guilt trip me about my Grandpa and how he has "only been staying alive out of hopes of seeing the kids over the summer." My Grandpa, actually, has been doing this "surviving for the sake of X event" for about 10 years now... :huh: Not quite as bad as my other grandparents- who celebrated their 45th anniversary as their golden because Grandma was convinced they wouldn't make it to 50! (They ended up married for 62 years, I think-- until Grandpa died from Alzheimers last year.)

So I'm going to try really hard to ask my doctor about the proposed vacation. At this point, even shortening it is prohibitively expensive. Why did ticket prices shoot up sooooo much??? The change ticket fee is $100 per ticket, plus you have to pay the fare difference. So even if I got the cheapest tickets, that would set me back maybe $150 per ticket, and I'd have to plan to travel after the baby's born. But, traveling with an infant and the 4 kids by myself is a different beast than traveling 8 months pregnant even! Mac is not hearing anything from the person scheduling the "first come first serve" vacations for next year. Surprise, surprise... Oh well... I bought the tickets before I knew that I'd have all these ultrasounds, etc. I took a risk, I guess. That's life...

In other news... Kate has a precariously low B in her math class. I'm watching her like a hawk. I saw a little news blurb off of the Yahoo website yesterday about parents "spying" on their kids through the types of on-line programs that the school here has set up to check on kids' attendance records, assignments, homework, grades, etc. I was amused that the tone of the article was that parents were "invading their kids' privacy." Excuse me while I . Please. To prove the premise, a very clean-cut looking blond boy (think Ken doll) was whining about how him mom knew if he got bad grades and when he came home she left a printout on his bed. "It's not the nicest thing to come home to." When I do the printouts, I give them to Kate and she says, "Ew, I don't want that." Me neither, sweetheart.

Kate's science teacher suffered a major heart attack last week. He's been out for a while. The kids are sort of floundering, and science, which had been her best/favorite class, is now really up in the air. They have a sub coming for long term, and the other science teachers have to make exams and assigments to cover for the teacher who's out. It's a tough situation all around.

The twins keep plugging along in school. I'm really wondering if I should separate them next year or not. I am leaning towards separating them, but it is a little more inconvenient for the family. I'll have two different teachers to worry about, and two entirely different sets of friends/peers. But it's probably time-- especially since they seem to be at such different levels academically. Steven is in the advanced everything, and Izzy is in the lowest group. I think that she doesn't perform well at school, for whatever reason. For reading, she'll bring home a level "16" book to practice, and read through it with no mistakes. But in school, she's rated at a "12" only. Steven, on the other hand, has moved on to "J" or "K" or some other level that they hit in 2nd grade. Contrast that to Kate, who started out in this system in 2nd grade reading at a 5th grade level. :huh: I raise all of them pretty much the same- and obviously with very different results. Three cheers for DNA! Keeps it interesting...

Luke has been a doll lately. I'm holding my breath for the storm! It's coming... He is excited about preschool- he is loving it lately. Gone are the days of "I don't want to go to preschool!" hysteria every Wednesday and Friday morning. Now he actually asks to go. He is also my helper going to Costco or wherever. He's my buddy. And he's no longer afraid to grow up- he's actually quite proud of himself. He was indignant when Mac tried to help him take off his shirt the other night before bath. (Mac hasn't been around much for bathtime lately-- he's out of the loop.) Luke insists on doing it all himself. Most of the time he can! (I know, it's strange because he's almost 4 and just barely mastering the art of undressing himself! :huh: What can I say?) He still takes 45 minutes to get out of the car, but at least it's not freezing outside while I'm waiting for him...

And my 5th child, Mac... He's been worrying me a bit lately. He's in month 2 of 3 of gen surg. He can taste the end of the gen surg intern year. He can taste the end of having to deal with gen surg patients and doctors. He is starting to lose his head a little-- and this has NEVER happened. I haven't seen him this close to losing his composure ever-- not even when he had real, actual death threats placed against him, and even a plot where a hitman was hired (I kid you not- it was in the food inspector days when he unwittingly broke up a drug trafficking ring by shutting down a truck stop for health violations!). He told me that he laughed at his chief yesterday when the chief told him that the orders Mac wrote were all wrong. Mac wrote what the chief told him to write, soooo... I guess he found it funny??? This has got to stop. He's close to the finish line, here, back to the land of ENT and a lot less stress, theoretically. He was post call when the laugh happened, so hopefully it was just a fluke, but I feel like Keira Knightly's character in Atonement "Come Back To Me!!!!" Ugggh. I hope he can reign it in.

[peggyfromwastate]

Re: blog is a funny word

I have a list of 3 things that I really really need DH to do. They are lifting things-- theoretically I could do them, but then I'd be in pain for a few weeks and it's really not necessary, when he has promised to do them... for over 3 weeks. So yesterday, Mother's Day, I specifically asked him to buy *nothing* as I want to try to balance our budget, but I told him that I would love it if he could do the 3 things off my list and maybe clean the floors. (Yes, the floors again... I give up.) So what did he do? First, he took the kids to church because he hasn't been in forever since he always rounds on Sundays (sidenote- I called my mom for mother's day and told her that-- and she said, "Get used to it, That's the life." as if I didn't know after living that life for... 32 years now.) I stayed home with Luke who has conjunctivitis (he won't let us say "pink eye" and if we do, he starts crying and says his eyes are still brown.) Then the kids came back, and Mac disappeared somewhere, so I got lunch for them. Then I ate lunch and Isabel and Steven gave me my Mother's Day gifts which were mostly cards they made at school. I read through them all, and they were very cute, but I got a feel for my itinerary for the day which involved playing a whole lot of games with the twins. They were so excited. I just wanted to take a nap! But, I played Izzy's matching game that she made, and then we played 4 rounds of UNO and I didn't even win once , and meanwhile Mac put Luke to a nap and then he... disppeared again! When he reappeared, he started setting up the Wii. The kids didn't even know about it, and frankly it would've been nice to wait until school was over, but I guess late afternoon on Mother's Day was the time to do that. Then I went to take a nap, and left the twins to watch him set up the Wii. And then they played it for 1 hour. Meanwhile, I got Luke up from his rest time, and let him go downstairs where he insisted to play the Wii.

Finally, Mac took the kids to Krispy Kreme b/c that's what was promised to Luke when he wanted to go to church but we wouldn't let him go. Then he bought them McDonald's for dinner b/c he was "cooking" for the day so that I "didn't have to do anything." Then during bathtime, he "tried out" every game we have for the Wii, and thankfully there aren't many, which gave me the perfect opportunity to... do some dishes. I finally got him to go get them out of the bath, but as soon as Izzy was out, the boys were in, and he was back at Wii boxing.

OK- LONG boring story short, he didn't even do the 3 things off my list. When I asked him about it late at night, he said "I thought that you said setting up the Wii was the priority." :huh: Ummmm, whatever. In his dreams perhaps. So frustrating when my 5th child is home from work acting like an insolent tweener.

Anyway, I did call my mom to say Happy Mother's Day since I didn't even mail a card or anything... I got to talk to my dad and her (on speakerphone of course-- with like a 2 second delay and an echo... I hate speaker phone). The news is that she bought bikes for all of my kids for riding when we are at her house. She knows full well that the chances of me being able to bring the troop out to her house is not that great. But, I had to go through the entire argument again! AGAIN!!! GAHHH! She kept saying, "But your dad's a doctor! We have a hospital here too. Don't they know that you'll have access to health care if you need it?" (Yes, we've had this conversation before.) It went on and on, but at least she didn't say something about Grandpa giving up on life if I can't make the trip.

Soooooooo, happy mother's day to everyone. I hope it went swimmingly. I hope my DH gets my new and improvedlist done while he's on leave from this Saturday to next Friday. And if he's not making progress, I may just have to ground him... from the Wii.