Housekeepers

[Lisa]

Do any of you have housekeepers? What are your experiences with them? Lately, I'm feeling that too much of my time is being spent trying to keep the house up and there are other things that I need to be doing. I was wondering if it might help to get a housekeeper.

One of the first things my husband and I did when we bought our house was get a housekeeper in to clean. I can handle picking stuff up off the floor, sorting lego, and all that, but I have NO time for cleaning bathrooms, scrubbing floors, etc. So, every two weeks, this great woman comes and cleans the place top to bottm. It take her five hours (big house) and it costs $60. I suppose we could get her to come every week, but it really only needs it every two weeks. In between, I maintain it by keeping the kitchen floor clean and the odd vacuuming when the girls decide to launch a bowl of cherios into space orbit (no milk, don't worry!).

I'll tell you it's the best thing we did about our domestic life, as having that burden removed from Andrew and me (OK, mostly me!) was one less thing we had to worry about.

Are you thinking you need someone on a more frequent basis?

WHAT, Janet? Are you telling me that all of this time I have been moaning to you about how dirty my house is and you never told me about your housekeeper....and here I was feeling inferior to this busy mother of twins!!

Lisa, the first thing that I am going to do when we move to MN and get settled is find a housekeeper to come once a week to help me with some of the finer details of cleaning up. With three kids and our busy lives I just never seem to get to some of it.

And after showing my husband your response to the ironong post...he was beside himself that you make your husband iron his own things we packed up some stuff for the cleaners...He has been telling me all of this time that "everyone else's wife" irons and is the perfect cook, housecleaner, etc...just not me....I have been forwarding all of these posts to him...so if someone feels that they have something that they can add that might be useful to mr. chauvenistic... please feel free to write it and I will forward it on as well .

I say GO FOR IT, Lisa and don't feel guilty at all.

Kristen

You guys should have housekeepers if it is financially possible! At least in my opinion. With busy lives including twin toddlers or three small children there are many more important priorities than cleaning or ironing. I guess I am lucky because my husband wears scrubs most of the time. But I told him that many of the wives on here did their husband's ironing (which I find very commendable), but I am not that talented.

I told him his stuff would be going to the cleaners. I hate ironing for myself let alone someone else. I think my mother-in-law would be appalled that I do not do my husband's ironing since she tells me on a regular basis that she "does everything" for her husband.

Kristin you mentioned your husband thinks that other people's wives are wonderful cooks etc? Has he been over to their houses to eat or is he going on his coworkers word? Take comfort in knowing that not all women are good cooks. My husband is well aware that I am a not much of a cook and we laugh about it. Although, I do stive to be Martha Stewart and Julia Child. Maybe that is why I am so stressed all the time.

My husband's idea is to clean when we will be having guests (his parents). He will help out with dinner, dishes and some occasional laundry so that leaves the rest for me. If I had multiple children, I would push for a housekeeper a couple times a month as well.

Jennifer

[Lisa]

I was thinking that maybe I could get a housekeeper to come in no more than once a week. I feel, though, that most of my time is spent picking up (toys, clothes, shoes, towels, books, magazines & papers), doing laundry, cleaning up after meals and things like that that a housekeeper may not do. The heavier cleaning such as cleaning floors and scrubbing bathrooms really doesn't take up that much of my time as they don't need to be done on a constant basis like the other things I previously mentioned. I just seem to have a lot of daily clutter to deal with and if I stop picking up, even for a little while, to do somethng else it gets out of control. Like, yesterday, my house was spotless and everything in it's place. Today, it's a wreck again. Does anyone else feel that way? Janet, what does your housekeeper do during that 5 hours that she spends in your house? Also, what are your suggestions for finding a good housekeeper? How did you find yours? I have no experience with housekeepers, so anything you could tell me such as what they typically will do and will not do will help. Thanks!

Well i guess i should add my 2cents worth to this one just in case the husbands are reading them too.hehe
No i don't have a housekeeper...but i don't want one.I like my house to be the way i want it.As for cooking i must say ..phill does most of the cooking everyday!! He is a gourmet cook and loves to cook and wait on me evn.I'm a great cook and love to cook too but as good as he cooks i fifure if it makes him happy fantastic!!he also loves to clean so we both clean what we want to.And he also does all the yardwork.I love working in my flower beds tho....And we both babysit...we love being with our grandkids.Yes phill does work everyday...full days and on call too.He just wants our marriage to be great and loves to make me happy.And i'm the same way with him.So it can be done....
Lynn

Lisa, I know exactly what you mean about keeping up with the mess. My problem is that when my girls sleep and nap and when I have the time to clean, I want to do something else, like take a bath, SLEEP, or just sit. It seems my life is so busy that the house always looks like a herd of buffalo live in it. The thing that's great about my housekeeper is that I don't have to worry about the heavier cleaning, dusting, mirror polishing, shower scrubbing, and floor washing. Sure, I "maintain" the kitchen and front hall floor and some vacuuming, but I would never find the time to overhaul the house like that every two weeks. So what would happen is that it would get to a point where I was disgusted with myself for letting it get that far, and then I'd do it. But I would have felt horrible in the process. This way, I can at least live in a messy house, not a dirty house. There's a difference. I can handle clutter and toys and unfolded laundry. I find it hard to live with dirt. Make sense?

Kris, I didn't mean to keep a secret! I thought you knew... Even with my housekeeper, I am absolutely run off my feet with toddlers, laundry, grocery shopping (a feat in itself--something a housekeeper might do!!!), and getting some sort of edible meal on the table at night... Half the time I get the main course done but can't get the rest done in time. That's where "salad in a bag" is my secret. Andrew and I laugh because half the time I just put the bag on the table, and don't even bother putting it in a bowl! Life is just so crazy with two 21 month olds. They seem to feed off each other's stubborn natures and whip each other into a frenzied riot like a couple of puppies that on their own are rather docile. You should see the kitchen after dinner. It looks like a bomb went off. And it takes until after the girls are bathed, pajama'ed, and put to bed to get it cleaned up. So that clocks in usually around 9 pm, by which point I'm beat!

When Andrew and I were going through his residency and I was working, we generally shared most things about 50/50. I was working longer hours than he was (software shops are notorious for that), and I'd often come home to him cooking dinner. And we each had laundry to do, so he did his, and I did mine. Now that I'm home with the kids all-day-every-day, without having a "discussion" about it, I've shouldered all things domestic, and he's bringing home the bacon, so to speak. I am uncomfortable with having him do no housework, and very little cooking, and very little dishes, but it does seem like a natural division of labour when he's working 60+ hours. I mean, when he is home for the few hours that our girls are still up, he should be playing with them, not doing dishes or something else. He needs that time with the girls. At one point, I felt guilty about not doing his ironing and I offered. He said, "you've never done it, why should you start now?". Kris, tell that to Thomas and tell me what he says. I suppose having a housekeeper makes me feel like I don't have to do it all either. Because he can't help me with stuff that we both used to do, we hire someone.

Having children really, really changes everything! Do what you need to!

Sorry, I forgot to mention how we found our housekeeper. She is the full time housekeeper/nanny for another doctor. She was highly recommended and I'll never change, as long as she wants to work for us. I consider her a friend now as well.

I think I got the two messiest kids on the planet. Today I went to Sears to get their two-year portraits done. I was running after them as they pulled ornaments off the tree and threw them around. Other parents with just one baby on their lap just looked at me breaking a sweat as mine whipped each other into a blissful frenzy. As I left I told myself it's good I do this only once a year!

My husband and I think we should rename our girls from Grace and Natalie to Roto and Tiller. It's that bad!

Now they are napping, and I'm sending emails, and plan to lie down. I'm traumatized over the portrait morning... Good thing we got some cute pictures out of the deal.

[Lisa]

It's good to hear that someone else is like me. When Savannah is napping and Caleb is at school, I want to do something relaxing, not clean, but I try to clean anyway. I think I am just anal-retentive about keeping the clutter picked up. I think that my house should be perfect and I've had more than one person tell me that I should not worry about it so much. It would still be nice to have someone come in every couple of weeks and do heavy stuff, though. Maybe I'll ask around to some of the other doctors' wives.

Here's to messy kids!