infertility ( 1

Has anyone here gone through any infertility treatments? My husband and I went through our first infertility work-up today. It is amazing how one minute I feel so disconnected from it and the next minute I am tearing up! Our news today was not too bad, though. I guess making a baby is a "do-able" situation but there will have to be a lot of science (and money) involved. Just wondering anyone else has gone through this or if I am the ONLY ONE. : ) Thanks, Amy

Hi Amy!
No your not the only one going thru this.I know when it happens to you it sure can seem like your the only one tho.So many emotions go thru you when you go thru all of this and it is very tuff and stressful.Whenever something horrible happens to me i try to find the good...or lesson from it....not always easy i know.If this were 20years ago you wouldn't have the options you have today,just all the emotions with no choice about what to do.At least today you have the choice to go thru all this,and if your lucky you get to have a baby in the end.I'd go thru anything to have a baby if thats what i wanted(as i'm sure you would too)and i think your very lucky that you can be helped and one day have a darling little baby.Yes...i know how hard all this is and will be on you and we'll all be here to help you thru your low points...and to cheer you when you finally do have that little baby!
Lynn

Yes, I have gone through some infertility treatments and do remember my infertility workup. Wesley was a miracle child and Jonah was conceived by using fertility treatments. You are not alone.

Christy

Amy,

Thomas and I were fortunate enough to forgoe fertility treatments but when we were first married we thought that we would have to....he had a varicocele (spelling?) that had not previously been discovered and we were told that when it was repaired we would likely be unable to conceive/have to adopt...When I became pregnant with Andrew before the surgery, Thomas' doctor was very suprised! His surgery was successful, so we were lucky....

I have had friends who have gone this route and I think that Lynn says a true thing: 20 years ago the options were much more limited for couples. From what I understand, even if all goes exactly as planned with the treatments it is a stressful thing...kind of a "roller-coaster" of emotions kind of thing. Of course, the end result is definately worth it!!!!! I empathize with your situation and I hope to hear the "we did it" very soon... !!

As a side note, I have to say that I found your "inspiration" to be so moving...I know that sounds kind of phony...but my immediate response to what you wrote is that I wish that you were someone that lived nearby that I could get to know.....thanks for sharing...

Kris

Hi Amy!

I keep thinking about you and your infertility work-up. Like I mentioned before I too have infertility issues and would love to help you in any way I can. I have met some wonderful people from a website that may interest you. I have some great sites to share with you and friends to introduce to you. Please email and we can chat about all this fertility stuff if you would like. My email address is mdspouse@yahoo.com.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Smiles,
Christy

Why not share the group with all of us? I am sure that several of us would be interested in the website and "friends".

Kristen

Thanks for all of your comments - if anyone has anything else to add, keep it coming! I am very interested in getting that information from you, Christy. I will email you in the next day of so. I am still processing all of the info the doctor gave us. My husband and I both have fertility problems - something we did not know. But it is not impossible. I am just trying to swallow how much the cost is and I need to make a lot of phone calls to find out if my insurance is going to help out with ANY of it. I have Kaiser. Scary. Plus I live in Kansas City and Kaiser is pulling out of here so I guess I have 2 insurance companies to call. Anyway. My parents called and said they would pay for the tests I need next month - about $620.00. After that we are having to do artificial insemination at $560.00 a month. so it better work in one month! We have been trying for 2 years and now that we are realizing we could be pregnant in the next 3 months we are saying to eachother "how the heck can we afford a baby?!? What are we thinking?!?" He is a first year ned student and I support us. I have this idea that life does not stop once you have a baby and that we will work things out. Am I crazy? I even have friends who are also spouses and have kids and they are all on Medicaid through medical school for insurance coverage. I guess you do what you have to. Except for cloth diapers - I can't imagine. YUK! Well, I am rambeling. Please let me know if anyone has financially been in this position - husband in school with a new baby. How do people afford it?!??! Thanks! ~Amy

Hi there everyone!

Amy, I'm not sure how you feel about your infertility situation, I just didn't want to talk of things like conceiving a child in front of many if you feel uncomfortable with it. Inciid had a great website that also has bulletin boards and chats. I am not sure what your infertility issues are; however, I can tell you the emotional side of can be extreme. Yet, when you finally do conceive you are in awe that you and your husband created such a perfect little human being. It took us almost 3 years to conceive Jonah. Two years without meds & 11 months with meds. My friends I have met on the web b/c of our infertility issues would not want me to put their names on a public forum like this (they use pseudonyms),yet they are like me, they want to help others go through these challenging times. You'll go through a lot of disappointments and evey month when you see that you did not get pregnant you'll be devistated, but do not lose hope. There are so many women and men who go through this and then when they finally find the right treatment, they are successful and get that pregnancy they always wanted.

Your dilemma sounds all too familiar! The decisions of should I start treatment now, will my present insurance cover my treatments, how long do I want to continue my treatments are all reasonal thoughts. If it were me, I would start as soon as possible b/c I know that I wanted a baby right at that very moment when I went in for treatments and then it ended up taking me 11 months. So, with infertility you have to kind of "pre-plan" before you plan. It's not like you tell you husband you want to try this month and it happens. It's a long haul, Amy, and I am here for you through your ups and downs as I have been there myself. And my husband had an infertility workup and it was very hard for him to go through all that stuff. They'll probably want you to take your bbt's and to monitor your cm. CM was the key for us. I only did bbt's for a little while.

Well, I hope this helps!

Christy

Yes Kristen has a very good point....lets share the website,friends and info,because i'm also sure that there are others going thru this whole thing too.I'm all for helping anyone who needs it.Amy if you need more personal stories i also have gone thru all the infertility tests and treatments just a few short years ago.Funny...no one in the whole world knows this but phill and now i'm telling it to everyone here.I did it for my late husband becuase he wanted a baby so bad.But he died before we had one.Looking back at how upset i was each month i now know what God's plan was and why *we didn't get pregnant.I know i couldn't have handled that when he died.And the poor baby would have never known it's father.His death was totally unexpected so it all worked out for the best.But i'll answer and post anything you have questions to Amy.
As for you statement....life doesn't end when you have kids:it sure the heck doesn't...but ohhhh how life changes!!LOLI'll be praying for ya!
Lynn

It took about a year for my husband and I to conceive, and because we were in our late thirties, my doctor advised we seek some fertility advice from a specialist. I just couldn't understand why we were not getting pregnant. And because I had never been pregnant before, I started fearing we had some problem. So, I started charting my bbt. No luck there. Then I bought a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. What an eyeopener! I learned that the charting of bbt alone was not enough and that you really need to combine it with cm monitoring to be truely effective. Well, the next month I was pregnant with twins! Anyway, I credit that book.

A dear friend of mine went through in vetro and got pregnant the first month. They implanted four embryos and she had twin boys. She and her husband chuckle about getting their monies worth! But it makes sense...

Amy, it will happen! And I think Christy is right, you never know how long it will take. My husband and I always thought that when we started we would have one right away. Becuase it took so long, we ended up having twins just months before the board exams! So, I say, why wait!

One note on cloth diapers.... Kris, you made my day--nearly laughed my head off!!! I bought four dozen cloth diapers (no folding, the nice kind with snaps and velcro), and I was convinced that with twins I was going to do the environmental thing. NEVER USED ONE!!! And to make matters worse, I had taken them out of their packages and washed them (being all "prepared" before birth), so there was no returning them to get my $400 back... Glad I wasn't the only one!!!

Wow! Lynn and Janet, I so much enjoyed reading your stories on infertility and such. Thanks for sharing! When I mentioned Inciid, I forgot to put down their web address which I believe is http://www.Inciid.org. I hope this helps! And Janet, I read that same book: Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH. It's like a fertility Bible! ~smiles~ Also, another good book I read was Getting Pregnant: What Couples Need To Know Right Now by Niels H. Lauersen, M.D., PH.D and Colette Bouchez. So, there are 2 resources for you to look into!

Hmmm... I know there is stuff I am forgetting. Let me think...as I will be starting my treatments back up in May or June. I need to refresh myself!

Christy

Haha, Janet, I did the exact same thing...but I was only out about $250. I was definately into the eco trip and thought that I would fill one less landfill with diapers....oh well!

I find your stories inspiring as well. Lynn, what a hard thing to go through. The more that I get to know you the more that I admire your strength...you have survived alot.

Christy, you are very brave to start trying again so soon. I didn't experience near the drama that you did after my second was born but the memory held on long enough that I was afraid to get pregnant again for a couple of years.

Kris

You guys are really great. I read the posts here and rarely have anything to comment on, feeling like there is not much I can relate with and then I need some help and you are all so willing to lend an ear and a shoulder. I appreciate that. I also appreciate your willingness to share your personal lives and experiences. Anyway... everyone is so willing to answer my questions and I am so overwhelmed, I don't have any specific questions, yet! I do want to get the "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" book - I have heard many great things about it. When we went to our appointment the other day the doc and the PA came across as "next month we are going to do the dye tests, then the following month we will do the artificial insemination and hopefully in three months we will have you pregnant". I appreciate her enthusiasm but WAIT A MINUTE! So Eric told me today that he definately wants a baby but we do not have to do all of this within a week. So at this point I think we will go ahead with the dye test thing and then take the summer to make some more money and go for the artificial insemination maybe in August. That is what I am feeling today. I have to say I am getting a bit discouraged by family today. My mother said "I just want you to know your father and I discussed it and we want you to know we totally support the idea of you adopting..." And then my mother in law said today "I was talking to Monica (Eric's older sister with 4 kids) and her take on all of this is that you should forget all of the infertility treatments and just adopt." I am mature enough to know everyone is trying to say the right thing but I am not yet ready to throw in the towel on having our own biological baby! I think adoption is great and I will turn to that once I am sure it is time but I want to see a little one we created ourselves! Anyway. People are funny. Well if anyone has anything to tell me that you do not want to post, please feel free to email me at ahempel@mail.com. My next goal is calling Kaiser tomorrow and finding out if ANY of this is covered! THAT is where I need your prayers! : ) ~Amy

I must be really in the dark but I would have NEVER expected cloth diapers to cost so much!!!!! I guess I'll be in for a real shock with the disposable kind! ~Amy

Yes, Lynn, you have been through so much! I have been through a *lot* of tragedy with my family too, and I know that it's not necessarily true what people say: "what doesn't kill you makes you stonger". Things hurt. Plain and simple. We have no choice but to learn to live with these hurts and go on. Time helps heal some things, and others we learn from and learn to live with.

Lynn, I admire your strength and the way you seem to have grown and blossomed in spite of heartache and losses. Your sense of humor and vibrancy come through in your words!