Nanny

Adrienne,

I am glad to hear that you all had such a seamless tranisition...I will definately be crossing my fingers for you that it keeps up. Can I ask you how you ended up finding your nanny? Did you go through an agency?

best wishes,

Kris

We found our nanny by placing an ad in the local paper. Within 1 day we received a multitude of calls. We screened everyone over the phone and then those we were interested in we had come to the house to meet us and our son. When we finally got it down to 2 or 3 we did a background (criminal and driving record) check. We used a contract off of the internet and modified it for our needs.

We decided to go this route since we spoke with several friends that had nannies. They had used an agency once or twice, but then did it on their own and got better results. Not only is it less expensive even though you have to pay for the background check and ad, you are likely to get more experienced people since those that have been in the business for a while don't like using the agencies. They don't get paid as much and they usually find jobs through word of mouth.

Anyhow - hope that helped.

Well, Adrienne, I am back in the childcare dilemna situation myself. Initially, Alex reacted well to the childcare setting...I seemed to be the only one with the guilty complex/problem with it. But now, he cries every time I drop him off and hugs me and hugs me when I pick him up.....I can't help but think that he isn't really as happy as I had hoped...and I really wonder if childcare like this is the best thing for a child? I just don't feel good about it.

I dont' know what to do..

Kris

How old is Alex? It might be that he is going through separation anxiety. Or it could be a particular teacher or child which makes the situation less than ideal for him. We moved my son out of daycare b/c of the time issue (me struggling to get him from daycare before closing hours) and the fact that he was always getting sick. But I must admit he seems much happier being at home with our Nanny. And he is learning so much faster than before due to the 1 on 1 interaction.

I too struggled leaving him every day. He cried when I left, but it usually stopped a minute or two later. And then he went nuts when he saw me to pick him up. And even though he is at home now and in a much better environment he still gets upset when I go to leave and can't get enough of me when I return home. I think its just a matter of them being too young to understand that we will be back.

My advice is that you have to do what will make you comfortable. You have to go with your gut. For us having a live in nanny has been an overall good experience to date. For others it may not make sense. Let me know if you need anymore info and good luck with your situation.

We tried nannies for our baby girl when we lived in Australia, and I am afraid that we have nothing but horror stories--4 absolutely awful nannies in a row, and I really don't know what we did to deserve it. Nanny one came highly recommended from an agency, but once she started it became apparent she had lied about her experience--in fact she later admitted she had never worked with young babies, and that she really didn't like kids or nannying as it interfered with her clubbing(!). Nanny two was found through another agency and was terrific and well qualified. After 2 months she suddenly had a repressed memory resurface and we found her hiding behind the sofa weeping and saying she was afraid to be alone. Nanny three was down to earth (we found her by placing ads in the paper) but was sick at least one day a week, and had a problem boyfriend--he wanted to "wait" in our house while she worked. he brought her to work, and picked her up, and in between sat out in the car staring at our house. She begged me to allow him to come in during the day, and couldn't understand why we were nervous about this. Nanny four lasted just 1 day--which she spent lying on the sofa snoring while the baby crawled about the house unsupervised. She also said she wouldn't wash the baby's bottles or dishes because it dried out her hands. All these people checked out in terms of references and police checks etc, and in interviews they seemed terrific. But my wife works from home, so she saw things that parents working outside the home would not. For example, Nanny three also worked for another family part time, and her boyfriend apparently spent each of those days in the house with hher and the kids, without the other parents knowledge (we called them and they were horrified that some strange guy had been in their house every day with their kids!!)

I am sure there are great nannies out there--just wish we could find one!

Wow...now that is something that can really make you think twice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only bad experience that I had with a nanny (we use a nanny agency to go out on the weekends because they offer hourly care as well as other nanny services) was with a young lady (pre-med student). She came to the house and seemed quite comfortable with everything. I left and she called two hours later to say that Alex had cried since I had left and wouldn't stop....he had never ever done that before and I had left him with other nannies on other occasions when I needed to do something. I told her I was coming home and when I did found him in his playpen...something we hadn't ever used. The nanny said that she had just let him "cry it out" in the playpen....for over 2 hours!! I was just sick about it! so...she never came back...

What did you end up doing for childcare? It really is hard to trust others ... it is shocking what can be going on. I would be tempted to videotape or something...even though that is probably illegal.....

Kris