Ack!

[houseelf]

I read that 80% of an individual's moral and intellectual makeup is developed within the first 5 years of life.



Ummm....Hello...the pressure! The problem is that I have no idea what I'm doing!



I want to be consistent and I don't want to give my kid issues.



When did you all feel like you knew the right course of action with your kids? I'm floundering here.



Kelly

Kelly,



You are not alone in the floundering department here! I haven't figured it out yet myself and I have a son who is almost 10!!! Unconditional love and consistency are two big things and the consistency is probably one of the hardest things for me to do. Different things works for each child and I haven't figured out the best thing for each of them. I have a 4 year old (almost 5 so my time is running out!!! ) and he is such a handful that I feel that I have really failed with him. He just can't seem to connect consequences to his actions and it worries me considerably because he doesn't see any bounds and has no fear of anything. Scary combination. I have tried all the methods I used with my older ones that worked for them but ... it doesn't do the trick for Tyler. I am hoping that just doing the best that I can and teaching by example will eventually help him to curb his bad behavior. Lots of prayers too!!!!



I am sure you are doing a great job. Many times we don't realize the impact we are having on our children. For example, my mother was a stickler for good etiquette. She didn't realize that she passed it on to me and my children (though far from perfect!) are improving in that area. It is not something that I consciously teach (okay, once in awhile I consciously teach it) but usually it is just the day to day stuff. Our kids really watch what we do.



I worry too about what I may do that leaves a long term negative impact on my children. I get upset with myself for the way I have handled certain things and I know where my weaknesses are. I just hope that the kids won't be hindered because of me.



Anyway.... you are not alone!!!! The fact that you are worrying about this now when your child is so young shows that you will succeed. Just do your best.



Robin

[houseelf]

Thanks for the positive support! Leadership by example is tough work. Seriously, why should my son eat healthy when my nutritional habits are not all that healthy?



Isn't it interesting how what works for one child will not necessarily work for another child? Just when you think that you have it figured out, a new challenge comes along.



Kelly

[Phoebe]

I think that raising children is an on going project which takes constant readjustment on part of the parents and children. It can be as stressful when you think about every decision you make can have an impact on your kids. That is a large weight to carry. However, I think children are resilient and adaptable even more so than adults.



It is a scary thought to think that a child has their basic components of life by the time they reach 5 yrs old. I think people can only do their best. Isn't that what our parents did?



Of course I will probably be posting with the same worries in the next couple months!



Jennifer