Residency advice ( 1

I have never posted here before but I have been reading the messages for the past couple of months and have really enjoyed reading your experiences though, sometimes, it makes me even more nervous about residency. My husband is finishing up his 3rd year of medical school and we seem to be at a crossroad that I need advice on. He hasn't decided what he wants to specialize in yet. I know that he would love to do surgery and we keep eliminating everything else BUT... he doesn't want to miss 5 years of our children's lives. We have 4 boys (ages 9 to 16 months!) Is he absolutely CRAZY to even consider surgery? I realize that I probably won't see him much the first year no matter what he goes into but is there any life as a surgery resident? Any comments would be appreciated! Thanks! Robin

I have never posted here before but I have been reading the messages for the past couple of months and have really enjoyed reading your experiences though, sometimes, it makes me even more nervous about residency. My husband is finishing up his 3rd year of medical school and we seem to be at a crossroad that I need advice on. He hasn't decided what he wants to specialize in yet. I know that he would love to do surgery and we keep eliminating everything else BUT... he doesn't want to miss 5 years of our children's lives. We have 4 boys (ages 9 to 16 months!) Is he absolutely CRAZY to even consider surgery? I realize that I probably won't see him much the first year no matter what he goes into but is there any life as a surgery resident? Any comments would be appreciated! Thanks! Robin

I have never posted here before but I have been reading the messages for the past couple of months and have really enjoyed reading your experiences though, sometimes, it makes me even more nervous about residency. My husband is finishing up his 3rd year of medical school and we seem to be at a crossroad that I need advice on. He hasn't decided what he wants to specialize in yet. I know that he would love to do surgery and we keep eliminating everything else BUT... he doesn't want to miss 5 years of our children's lives. We have 4 boys (ages 9 to 16 months!) Is he absolutely CRAZY to even consider surgery? I realize that I probably won't see him much the first year no matter what he goes into but is there any life as a surgery resident? Any comments would be appreciated! Thanks! Robin

Robin,



I think you are right that the first year of training is pretty rough for any specialty....Surgery, as I understand it is especially difficult in the first year and any following years. We have had friends who have toughed it out and others who have switched residencies because it was just too much call.....Has he thought of any specialties with a surgical bent? ie ob/gyn? I think for surgery that the training years are tough, but practicing surgeons are pretty busy too? Lisa could probably speak to that one better than I can...my husband did internal med.



But on another topic...4 boys!!! Wow! 9-16 months...you are one busy lady! How is it with 4? We are sort of ... talking right now about whether or not to have our 4th or call it quits....



Kris

Robin,



I think you are right that the first year of training is pretty rough for any specialty....Surgery, as I understand it is especially difficult in the first year and any following years. We have had friends who have toughed it out and others who have switched residencies because it was just too much call.....Has he thought of any specialties with a surgical bent? ie ob/gyn? I think for surgery that the training years are tough, but practicing surgeons are pretty busy too? Lisa could probably speak to that one better than I can...my husband did internal med.



But on another topic...4 boys!!! Wow! 9-16 months...you are one busy lady! How is it with 4? We are sort of ... talking right now about whether or not to have our 4th or call it quits....



Kris

Robin,



I think you are right that the first year of training is pretty rough for any specialty....Surgery, as I understand it is especially difficult in the first year and any following years. We have had friends who have toughed it out and others who have switched residencies because it was just too much call.....Has he thought of any specialties with a surgical bent? ie ob/gyn? I think for surgery that the training years are tough, but practicing surgeons are pretty busy too? Lisa could probably speak to that one better than I can...my husband did internal med.



But on another topic...4 boys!!! Wow! 9-16 months...you are one busy lady! How is it with 4? We are sort of ... talking right now about whether or not to have our 4th or call it quits....



Kris

Believe it or not, 4 isn't too bad! I found having 3 much harder. But, my baby was a really good baby. He is turning into a feisty toddler though. My oldest helps out a lot. I always wanted 4 kids but I had no idea that we would be doing the medical school route as well. It is definitely a challenge but the kids bring us a lot of stability and the baby was our lifesaver when life was crazy during the 2nd year of med school. He would smile and hug you and you knew we would get thru it. Sorry, this is short but I have got to go pick up one son from cub scouts and head off to soccer practice. Life isn't dull! Thanks for your response. Robin

Believe it or not, 4 isn't too bad! I found having 3 much harder. But, my baby was a really good baby. He is turning into a feisty toddler though. My oldest helps out a lot. I always wanted 4 kids but I had no idea that we would be doing the medical school route as well. It is definitely a challenge but the kids bring us a lot of stability and the baby was our lifesaver when life was crazy during the 2nd year of med school. He would smile and hug you and you knew we would get thru it. Sorry, this is short but I have got to go pick up one son from cub scouts and head off to soccer practice. Life isn't dull! Thanks for your response. Robin

Believe it or not, 4 isn't too bad! I found having 3 much harder. But, my baby was a really good baby. He is turning into a feisty toddler though. My oldest helps out a lot. I always wanted 4 kids but I had no idea that we would be doing the medical school route as well. It is definitely a challenge but the kids bring us a lot of stability and the baby was our lifesaver when life was crazy during the 2nd year of med school. He would smile and hug you and you knew we would get thru it. Sorry, this is short but I have got to go pick up one son from cub scouts and head off to soccer practice. Life isn't dull! Thanks for your response. Robin

robin:

well, i can only speak for the surgeons i know - i think it all *really really* depends on where you go for your residency.



surgeons at duke? NO LIFE. they never see the light of day. you would have to be super tough to make it through SEVEN years there (yes, it is seven years).



so, my fiance chose another "reputable" but more family friendly place - he still works a LOT but i don't think it's marriage breaking by any means. it all depends on the rotation as well - the months of trauma, transplant & particular surgery rotations are TOUGH but then you have some months where he is home at 6pm. his call schedule is generally every third night.



don't get me wrong, it's tough & he's not home a lot - average arrival time at night is 8pm. average departure time in morning is 4:30am. but couples have done it - and succeeded!



i think it really boils down to the place of residency & how independent you are (meaning the spouse).

robin:

well, i can only speak for the surgeons i know - i think it all *really really* depends on where you go for your residency.



surgeons at duke? NO LIFE. they never see the light of day. you would have to be super tough to make it through SEVEN years there (yes, it is seven years).



so, my fiance chose another "reputable" but more family friendly place - he still works a LOT but i don't think it's marriage breaking by any means. it all depends on the rotation as well - the months of trauma, transplant & particular surgery rotations are TOUGH but then you have some months where he is home at 6pm. his call schedule is generally every third night.



don't get me wrong, it's tough & he's not home a lot - average arrival time at night is 8pm. average departure time in morning is 4:30am. but couples have done it - and succeeded!



i think it really boils down to the place of residency & how independent you are (meaning the spouse).

robin:

well, i can only speak for the surgeons i know - i think it all *really really* depends on where you go for your residency.



surgeons at duke? NO LIFE. they never see the light of day. you would have to be super tough to make it through SEVEN years there (yes, it is seven years).



so, my fiance chose another "reputable" but more family friendly place - he still works a LOT but i don't think it's marriage breaking by any means. it all depends on the rotation as well - the months of trauma, transplant & particular surgery rotations are TOUGH but then you have some months where he is home at 6pm. his call schedule is generally every third night.



don't get me wrong, it's tough & he's not home a lot - average arrival time at night is 8pm. average departure time in morning is 4:30am. but couples have done it - and succeeded!



i think it really boils down to the place of residency & how independent you are (meaning the spouse).

Robin, I have to add a point of view from a different residency. My husband is 2d year resident in peds, and it makes a HUGE difference! q4, home by 6 (he can even pick up our son at preschool when I'm at work), and a lot of support for family responsibilities. I'm not suggesting yours go into peds, but wanted to let you know that it does seem like choice of specialty makes adifference. But the hospital does too - there are peds residencies that are brutal! When I hear what some of the other spouses on this board contend with with the competitive and demanding residencies, I am in awe. Good luck

Kaaren

Robin, I have to add a point of view from a different residency. My husband is 2d year resident in peds, and it makes a HUGE difference! q4, home by 6 (he can even pick up our son at preschool when I'm at work), and a lot of support for family responsibilities. I'm not suggesting yours go into peds, but wanted to let you know that it does seem like choice of specialty makes adifference. But the hospital does too - there are peds residencies that are brutal! When I hear what some of the other spouses on this board contend with with the competitive and demanding residencies, I am in awe. Good luck

Kaaren

Robin, I have to add a point of view from a different residency. My husband is 2d year resident in peds, and it makes a HUGE difference! q4, home by 6 (he can even pick up our son at preschool when I'm at work), and a lot of support for family responsibilities. I'm not suggesting yours go into peds, but wanted to let you know that it does seem like choice of specialty makes adifference. But the hospital does too - there are peds residencies that are brutal! When I hear what some of the other spouses on this board contend with with the competitive and demanding residencies, I am in awe. Good luck

Kaaren