Ever feel like you're just not good enough?

Hello All,



I am married to a 2nd year resident in Neurology. I myself am a research fellow in Public health (finished a doctorate and I've been out for 2 years). I have known my husband for 10 years and we both have a career and no kids yet.



I am surrounded by MD's all day (and all night when he is home) and I have the feeling all the time that I just don't cut the mustard. It is terrible feeling this way and I wonder if other spouses feel the "god" complex?



How does a spouse/coworker get around this expression of inferiority?



Any answers?

Hello All,



I am married to a 2nd year resident in Neurology. I myself am a research fellow in Public health (finished a doctorate and I've been out for 2 years). I have known my husband for 10 years and we both have a career and no kids yet.



I am surrounded by MD's all day (and all night when he is home) and I have the feeling all the time that I just don't cut the mustard. It is terrible feeling this way and I wonder if other spouses feel the "god" complex?



How does a spouse/coworker get around this expression of inferiority?



Any answers?

Hello All,



I am married to a 2nd year resident in Neurology. I myself am a research fellow in Public health (finished a doctorate and I've been out for 2 years). I have known my husband for 10 years and we both have a career and no kids yet.



I am surrounded by MD's all day (and all night when he is home) and I have the feeling all the time that I just don't cut the mustard. It is terrible feeling this way and I wonder if other spouses feel the "god" complex?



How does a spouse/coworker get around this expression of inferiority?



Any answers?

Hi & welcome!



Well, I'm not around MD's all the time as you are per say, however, when I am, I am confident enough in my own abilities to know that MD's could never do my job as well as I can. I feel we all have talents and gifts and no talent or gift is greater than any other. So, I am apt to think that my husband knows a lot in his field of medicine, but yet I know a lot in my field of educating young children and getting them to do what I want them to do without them knowing it!!!!



I don't feel I am not good enough. I feel that I don't want to pursue that field and therefore, I don't want to know as much as a physician may know. Again, have pride in who you are and what you do. MD's are not superior, they are individuals like you and me and should, as I hope they do, have a life outside of the medical field. Focus on that and you'll feel much better. When my husband comes home I talk a little about his day and experiences and try to steer our conversations towards us and our family and our dreams and goals. It is then I realize that he is still the wonderful man I met and married before all this medical school and residency stuff. Focus on being individuals, rather than a career label. That's the best advice I can give!



Christy

Hi & welcome!



Well, I'm not around MD's all the time as you are per say, however, when I am, I am confident enough in my own abilities to know that MD's could never do my job as well as I can. I feel we all have talents and gifts and no talent or gift is greater than any other. So, I am apt to think that my husband knows a lot in his field of medicine, but yet I know a lot in my field of educating young children and getting them to do what I want them to do without them knowing it!!!!



I don't feel I am not good enough. I feel that I don't want to pursue that field and therefore, I don't want to know as much as a physician may know. Again, have pride in who you are and what you do. MD's are not superior, they are individuals like you and me and should, as I hope they do, have a life outside of the medical field. Focus on that and you'll feel much better. When my husband comes home I talk a little about his day and experiences and try to steer our conversations towards us and our family and our dreams and goals. It is then I realize that he is still the wonderful man I met and married before all this medical school and residency stuff. Focus on being individuals, rather than a career label. That's the best advice I can give!



Christy

Hi & welcome!



Well, I'm not around MD's all the time as you are per say, however, when I am, I am confident enough in my own abilities to know that MD's could never do my job as well as I can. I feel we all have talents and gifts and no talent or gift is greater than any other. So, I am apt to think that my husband knows a lot in his field of medicine, but yet I know a lot in my field of educating young children and getting them to do what I want them to do without them knowing it!!!!



I don't feel I am not good enough. I feel that I don't want to pursue that field and therefore, I don't want to know as much as a physician may know. Again, have pride in who you are and what you do. MD's are not superior, they are individuals like you and me and should, as I hope they do, have a life outside of the medical field. Focus on that and you'll feel much better. When my husband comes home I talk a little about his day and experiences and try to steer our conversations towards us and our family and our dreams and goals. It is then I realize that he is still the wonderful man I met and married before all this medical school and residency stuff. Focus on being individuals, rather than a career label. That's the best advice I can give!



Christy

Hi there and welcome to one of the best sites on the web!LOLYou have come to the right place as many of us know what your talking about.Kristen can prob give you great advise as she goes thru some of what your talking about.The "God Complex",hmmmmm....i know it well!LOL I don't feel it much but i sure do see it alot!Phill knows better then to treat me like that but i can tell you this much.When he has been playing *God all day and comes home to me he is sometimes in that mode.When you figure they have had all those years of medical training i think it's a pretty much automatic mode they just go into.Also i think the longer they are in practice makes it even worse.Phill has been a doctor 20+years now and he spends most of his day evryday acting like this to patients it's got to be ingrained in him by now.He's so used to it he doesn't even know he does it!I would say to get used to it now as it only gets worse with each passing year.That doesn't mean it has to be bad for us spouses tho.Never let that make YOU feel less as a person.This is what they chose to be and you will be good at whatever you have chosen to do in your life.Find what it is you like and want to do and just be the best at that.Because he is a doctor doesn't make him better then you...just different.Never feel less by what you do....you are just as important as him!

Lynn

Hi there and welcome to one of the best sites on the web!LOLYou have come to the right place as many of us know what your talking about.Kristen can prob give you great advise as she goes thru some of what your talking about.The "God Complex",hmmmmm....i know it well!LOL I don't feel it much but i sure do see it alot!Phill knows better then to treat me like that but i can tell you this much.When he has been playing *God all day and comes home to me he is sometimes in that mode.When you figure they have had all those years of medical training i think it's a pretty much automatic mode they just go into.Also i think the longer they are in practice makes it even worse.Phill has been a doctor 20+years now and he spends most of his day evryday acting like this to patients it's got to be ingrained in him by now.He's so used to it he doesn't even know he does it!I would say to get used to it now as it only gets worse with each passing year.That doesn't mean it has to be bad for us spouses tho.Never let that make YOU feel less as a person.This is what they chose to be and you will be good at whatever you have chosen to do in your life.Find what it is you like and want to do and just be the best at that.Because he is a doctor doesn't make him better then you...just different.Never feel less by what you do....you are just as important as him!

Lynn

Hi there and welcome to one of the best sites on the web!LOLYou have come to the right place as many of us know what your talking about.Kristen can prob give you great advise as she goes thru some of what your talking about.The "God Complex",hmmmmm....i know it well!LOL I don't feel it much but i sure do see it alot!Phill knows better then to treat me like that but i can tell you this much.When he has been playing *God all day and comes home to me he is sometimes in that mode.When you figure they have had all those years of medical training i think it's a pretty much automatic mode they just go into.Also i think the longer they are in practice makes it even worse.Phill has been a doctor 20+years now and he spends most of his day evryday acting like this to patients it's got to be ingrained in him by now.He's so used to it he doesn't even know he does it!I would say to get used to it now as it only gets worse with each passing year.That doesn't mean it has to be bad for us spouses tho.Never let that make YOU feel less as a person.This is what they chose to be and you will be good at whatever you have chosen to do in your life.Find what it is you like and want to do and just be the best at that.Because he is a doctor doesn't make him better then you...just different.Never feel less by what you do....you are just as important as him!

Lynn

yes - everyone here has given wonderful advice. i try to keep my fiance grounded on earth. as i have told everyone, i am a communication studies grad so i am big on communicating. i will tell the big dr. surgeon that he needs to step off his high horse if i feel that his head is becoming too large.



self-confidence: you have it! you are in a similar but different field and you have talents that he does not have. i strongly believe that all of us are/were created differently with unique gifts and some people are born to be doctors, surgeons, neurologists - and others are born to be researchers, teachers, and *work in television* - just meet your personal goals and there is no need to compare. you can't even compare an apple and an orange.



no worries!!

yes - everyone here has given wonderful advice. i try to keep my fiance grounded on earth. as i have told everyone, i am a communication studies grad so i am big on communicating. i will tell the big dr. surgeon that he needs to step off his high horse if i feel that his head is becoming too large.



self-confidence: you have it! you are in a similar but different field and you have talents that he does not have. i strongly believe that all of us are/were created differently with unique gifts and some people are born to be doctors, surgeons, neurologists - and others are born to be researchers, teachers, and *work in television* - just meet your personal goals and there is no need to compare. you can't even compare an apple and an orange.



no worries!!

yes - everyone here has given wonderful advice. i try to keep my fiance grounded on earth. as i have told everyone, i am a communication studies grad so i am big on communicating. i will tell the big dr. surgeon that he needs to step off his high horse if i feel that his head is becoming too large.



self-confidence: you have it! you are in a similar but different field and you have talents that he does not have. i strongly believe that all of us are/were created differently with unique gifts and some people are born to be doctors, surgeons, neurologists - and others are born to be researchers, teachers, and *work in television* - just meet your personal goals and there is no need to compare. you can't even compare an apple and an orange.



no worries!!

self-confidence: a necessity in life.



the scenario: the annual surgical "ball" where my fiance is doing his residency. i am at a table full of couples where the male/female is the resident and their spouse is ah-ha, a resident as well! or a chemist. or *anything* "smart" like that. they ask me what i do. "well, i am a student right now. i also work at the public tv station and work with the kids programs there and dress up in a kangaroo costume sometimes and hop around" OKKKKKKAY! talk about someone who could get a complex for not being "smart enough" or "intellectual enough" -- it comes down to being happy and confident in what you are doing.



i totally believe that God made everyone different - with unique talents and gifts. can you imagine if the world was full of doctors? BOOOORING (to me) - keep that chin up!

self-confidence: a necessity in life.



the scenario: the annual surgical "ball" where my fiance is doing his residency. i am at a table full of couples where the male/female is the resident and their spouse is ah-ha, a resident as well! or a chemist. or *anything* "smart" like that. they ask me what i do. "well, i am a student right now. i also work at the public tv station and work with the kids programs there and dress up in a kangaroo costume sometimes and hop around" OKKKKKKAY! talk about someone who could get a complex for not being "smart enough" or "intellectual enough" -- it comes down to being happy and confident in what you are doing.



i totally believe that God made everyone different - with unique talents and gifts. can you imagine if the world was full of doctors? BOOOORING (to me) - keep that chin up!

self-confidence: a necessity in life.



the scenario: the annual surgical "ball" where my fiance is doing his residency. i am at a table full of couples where the male/female is the resident and their spouse is ah-ha, a resident as well! or a chemist. or *anything* "smart" like that. they ask me what i do. "well, i am a student right now. i also work at the public tv station and work with the kids programs there and dress up in a kangaroo costume sometimes and hop around" OKKKKKKAY! talk about someone who could get a complex for not being "smart enough" or "intellectual enough" -- it comes down to being happy and confident in what you are doing.



i totally believe that God made everyone different - with unique talents and gifts. can you imagine if the world was full of doctors? BOOOORING (to me) - keep that chin up!