Oh Kris I loved that last one. My .02 worth--well here it is--before I moved to MNPLS I was a manager for a municipality back home. I ran social services and community services and was respected and admired by residents, other staff, and elected officials. I was heavily involved in politics, and was the man to go to when something needed to be done or someone needed to be convinced to support a certain initiative. As a matter of fact pull up my name on the City's web site and you will see that January 15th is my day by proclamantion of the Mayor.
What do I do now--now I am a nobody in a huge organization with a job I hate that has absolutely no affect on anyone. I don't change lives, build collaboratives, assist those in dire straights--I come to work pound on a computer, and then head home to a partner who is exhausted, beat up, emotionally unavailable, and really only wants to sleep.
Do I know he loves me? Yes of course, however with the lack of self esteem I feel about my own life right now coupled with his inability to offer me any sort of reinforcement, it is often times hard to convince myself that I am OK. I try to tell myself that I am where I am supposed to be and as the line in "Desiderata" goes--"no doubt the world is unfolding exactly as it should" it is a daily occurence that I look back on what I was and what I am now. (Don't get me wrong Dan does what he can and is doing remarkably well--I guess I am just way too needy at this point in my life)
So yes I feel inferior. However I try to remind myself that I am lucky. I have found a great city that I now call home. I have many friends, and a wonderful spouse. However it is, as I mentioned earlier a bit challenging at times.
As far as the doctor playing God bit--Dan tells people he is a nail technician--isn't that a hoot. He is not impressed with the doctor title and quite frankly does not like Drs. because he sees that holier then thou attitude far too often.
I am lucky, and yes I must admit feel inferior. It is not anything that Dan does, but it is my recognition of what he is proessionally accomplishing, while I continue to tredge on in this corporate hell.
Good Lord--soemone get him a therapist!!!
What do I do now--now I am a nobody in a huge organization with a job I hate that has absolutely no affect on anyone. I don't change lives, build collaboratives, assist those in dire straights--I come to work pound on a computer, and then head home to a partner who is exhausted, beat up, emotionally unavailable, and really only wants to sleep.
Do I know he loves me? Yes of course, however with the lack of self esteem I feel about my own life right now coupled with his inability to offer me any sort of reinforcement, it is often times hard to convince myself that I am OK. I try to tell myself that I am where I am supposed to be and as the line in "Desiderata" goes--"no doubt the world is unfolding exactly as it should" it is a daily occurence that I look back on what I was and what I am now. (Don't get me wrong Dan does what he can and is doing remarkably well--I guess I am just way too needy at this point in my life)
So yes I feel inferior. However I try to remind myself that I am lucky. I have found a great city that I now call home. I have many friends, and a wonderful spouse. However it is, as I mentioned earlier a bit challenging at times.
As far as the doctor playing God bit--Dan tells people he is a nail technician--isn't that a hoot. He is not impressed with the doctor title and quite frankly does not like Drs. because he sees that holier then thou attitude far too often.
I am lucky, and yes I must admit feel inferior. It is not anything that Dan does, but it is my recognition of what he is proessionally accomplishing, while I continue to tredge on in this corporate hell.
Good Lord--soemone get him a therapist!!!
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