Clinical rotations and family

Hi, I'm a married, female med student with a young child. I was just wondering if any of you had any advice on how to make the more demanding clinical rotations easier on my husband and baby, since my family is my first priority. If there were any things your spouses did that helped-- or things you wish they had done-- I would love to hear your ideas.



Also, I guess I have one more question-- I'm interested in going into family practice, and I was just curious how difficult residency is so that I can have an idea of what to tell my husband. I know that it varies from program to program, and that generally the first year is very hard. Could anyone tell me what the second and third years are like? Thank you very much!

Hi, I'm a married, female med student with a young child. I was just wondering if any of you had any advice on how to make the more demanding clinical rotations easier on my husband and baby, since my family is my first priority. If there were any things your spouses did that helped-- or things you wish they had done-- I would love to hear your ideas.



Also, I guess I have one more question-- I'm interested in going into family practice, and I was just curious how difficult residency is so that I can have an idea of what to tell my husband. I know that it varies from program to program, and that generally the first year is very hard. Could anyone tell me what the second and third years are like? Thank you very much!

Hi, I'm a married, female med student with a young child. I was just wondering if any of you had any advice on how to make the more demanding clinical rotations easier on my husband and baby, since my family is my first priority. If there were any things your spouses did that helped-- or things you wish they had done-- I would love to hear your ideas.



Also, I guess I have one more question-- I'm interested in going into family practice, and I was just curious how difficult residency is so that I can have an idea of what to tell my husband. I know that it varies from program to program, and that generally the first year is very hard. Could anyone tell me what the second and third years are like? Thank you very much!

Grace my partner is completing his first year in family practice here in MNPLS. The two toughest months were ICU and cardiology, however obgyn, and NICU were no big treats as well.



As far as what to tell your husband you might try to prepare him for what will eventually happen to you. God Love you--Daniel was exhausted and remains so. We failed to do the necessary emotional prep work before the first year started and it left to a number of misunderstandings. In our case, which may or may not be typical, sharing company with me became not a burden but it definetely failed to provide the therapeutic touch it did before the residency started.



It is very hard I will make no bones about it, however you all will do fine granted you communicate up front. As far as the kids are concerend Kris or Janet may be better poised to answer that question.



Best of Luck and welcome

Grace my partner is completing his first year in family practice here in MNPLS. The two toughest months were ICU and cardiology, however obgyn, and NICU were no big treats as well.



As far as what to tell your husband you might try to prepare him for what will eventually happen to you. God Love you--Daniel was exhausted and remains so. We failed to do the necessary emotional prep work before the first year started and it left to a number of misunderstandings. In our case, which may or may not be typical, sharing company with me became not a burden but it definetely failed to provide the therapeutic touch it did before the residency started.



It is very hard I will make no bones about it, however you all will do fine granted you communicate up front. As far as the kids are concerend Kris or Janet may be better poised to answer that question.



Best of Luck and welcome

Grace my partner is completing his first year in family practice here in MNPLS. The two toughest months were ICU and cardiology, however obgyn, and NICU were no big treats as well.



As far as what to tell your husband you might try to prepare him for what will eventually happen to you. God Love you--Daniel was exhausted and remains so. We failed to do the necessary emotional prep work before the first year started and it left to a number of misunderstandings. In our case, which may or may not be typical, sharing company with me became not a burden but it definetely failed to provide the therapeutic touch it did before the residency started.



It is very hard I will make no bones about it, however you all will do fine granted you communicate up front. As far as the kids are concerend Kris or Janet may be better poised to answer that question.



Best of Luck and welcome

hi grace!



welcome to our "community"! i am usually around but have been gone these last few weeks because of yucky school work!



congrats to you!! i am in grad school studying communication studies and thus come upon many, many feminist studies and it's great to see a woman doing what has been traditionally the "man's field"!



anyway, i can't offer much advice b/c i am not yet married to my wonderful MD fiance! five more months and i'll tell all! ha! i can tell you some of the things he has done to make life easier and better and make me feel like he definitely cares about me even though he might not be able to "come home" that night (we are also long distance) -



---calling. while he is at the hospital. that means a ton to me. he calls several times on the nights that he is on call and it makes me feel as if (if i were at the house) he really really wishes he were home but can't be and i understand that.



---random acts of love: cards. a small gift. and this lets me know that hey - he actually thought about me during his busy day to stop on the way home and get something (ok, i know - he is putting it in the mailbox)



---and the number one thing: COMMUNICATION. and yes, i know i am biased but i really can't stress enough how important that is to a relationship. we communicate about EVERYTHING. the good and the very bad. and i can't tell you how many times i have cried or exploded at him for his lousy schedule and not paying attention to me and what not - but i also can't tell you how many times i have praised him for being such a wonderful man and for taking time out to really focus on our relationship, etc. basically, i am a firm believer of HOLD NOTHING BACK.



as far as the residency: i am also biased as my fiance is doing a surgery residency and it's just insane sometimes. family practice (from what i have heard) is the most wonderful, family-friendly one you can do.

sure, there will be tough rotations but they only last ONE month and there will be some AWESOME rotations where you are home more than the normal nine to fiver.

it also really really depends on where you do your residency.



hope this was helpful in a small way atleast!!

hi grace!



welcome to our "community"! i am usually around but have been gone these last few weeks because of yucky school work!



congrats to you!! i am in grad school studying communication studies and thus come upon many, many feminist studies and it's great to see a woman doing what has been traditionally the "man's field"!



anyway, i can't offer much advice b/c i am not yet married to my wonderful MD fiance! five more months and i'll tell all! ha! i can tell you some of the things he has done to make life easier and better and make me feel like he definitely cares about me even though he might not be able to "come home" that night (we are also long distance) -



---calling. while he is at the hospital. that means a ton to me. he calls several times on the nights that he is on call and it makes me feel as if (if i were at the house) he really really wishes he were home but can't be and i understand that.



---random acts of love: cards. a small gift. and this lets me know that hey - he actually thought about me during his busy day to stop on the way home and get something (ok, i know - he is putting it in the mailbox)



---and the number one thing: COMMUNICATION. and yes, i know i am biased but i really can't stress enough how important that is to a relationship. we communicate about EVERYTHING. the good and the very bad. and i can't tell you how many times i have cried or exploded at him for his lousy schedule and not paying attention to me and what not - but i also can't tell you how many times i have praised him for being such a wonderful man and for taking time out to really focus on our relationship, etc. basically, i am a firm believer of HOLD NOTHING BACK.



as far as the residency: i am also biased as my fiance is doing a surgery residency and it's just insane sometimes. family practice (from what i have heard) is the most wonderful, family-friendly one you can do.

sure, there will be tough rotations but they only last ONE month and there will be some AWESOME rotations where you are home more than the normal nine to fiver.

it also really really depends on where you do your residency.



hope this was helpful in a small way atleast!!

hi grace!



welcome to our "community"! i am usually around but have been gone these last few weeks because of yucky school work!



congrats to you!! i am in grad school studying communication studies and thus come upon many, many feminist studies and it's great to see a woman doing what has been traditionally the "man's field"!



anyway, i can't offer much advice b/c i am not yet married to my wonderful MD fiance! five more months and i'll tell all! ha! i can tell you some of the things he has done to make life easier and better and make me feel like he definitely cares about me even though he might not be able to "come home" that night (we are also long distance) -



---calling. while he is at the hospital. that means a ton to me. he calls several times on the nights that he is on call and it makes me feel as if (if i were at the house) he really really wishes he were home but can't be and i understand that.



---random acts of love: cards. a small gift. and this lets me know that hey - he actually thought about me during his busy day to stop on the way home and get something (ok, i know - he is putting it in the mailbox)



---and the number one thing: COMMUNICATION. and yes, i know i am biased but i really can't stress enough how important that is to a relationship. we communicate about EVERYTHING. the good and the very bad. and i can't tell you how many times i have cried or exploded at him for his lousy schedule and not paying attention to me and what not - but i also can't tell you how many times i have praised him for being such a wonderful man and for taking time out to really focus on our relationship, etc. basically, i am a firm believer of HOLD NOTHING BACK.



as far as the residency: i am also biased as my fiance is doing a surgery residency and it's just insane sometimes. family practice (from what i have heard) is the most wonderful, family-friendly one you can do.

sure, there will be tough rotations but they only last ONE month and there will be some AWESOME rotations where you are home more than the normal nine to fiver.

it also really really depends on where you do your residency.



hope this was helpful in a small way atleast!!

[DCJenn]

My husband is slightly more than half-way through his peds internship. The things that I like- he tries to call- I don't expect him to, but it's nice when he can. He tries to help out around the house as much as possible, and we try to have at least one sit in front of each other and discuss important stuff comversations a week (even if it's only for 15 minutes!). Also, we decided while he was in med school that the person who is awake and home (me) gets to be responsible for the checkbook/bill paying. The person who is not home and/or asleep(him) does not get to question the person who is awake (me) about the reasons for certain things being paid or certain amounts gong various places, etc. I literally give him an amount that he is allowed to spend and that's it. A definite trust builder but I am a control freak about money and he isn't. So- I pay the bills. As for the things that make me nuts- especially during these rotations in the ward, the NICU, PICU, etc-

I hate doing all of the laundry all of the time. So, I still do all of the laundry but put none of it away until I feel like it(which may be that moment or may be a few days). He doesn't care so long as his socks and undies are clean and I don't end up feeling like a servant. Along the same lines, he makes a horrible mess making himself breakfast and coffee (at 5am- no wonder!) but I leave it unless it drives me insane. Not my mess to clean up! He understands that all of this falls in my lap due to his job- so he puts up with my idiosyncratic ways of handling my job and everything else. I guess, my point is just let your husband know he is going to be frustrated and he will feel 'put upon' and resentful and that's part of life. We acknowledge it when it happens and move on. Doesn't make it any easier, necessarily- but his acknowledging that I'm stuck with the short end of the household management makes it at least tolerable. and just remember to say thanks for clean undies.

[DCJenn]

My husband is slightly more than half-way through his peds internship. The things that I like- he tries to call- I don't expect him to, but it's nice when he can. He tries to help out around the house as much as possible, and we try to have at least one sit in front of each other and discuss important stuff comversations a week (even if it's only for 15 minutes!). Also, we decided while he was in med school that the person who is awake and home (me) gets to be responsible for the checkbook/bill paying. The person who is not home and/or asleep(him) does not get to question the person who is awake (me) about the reasons for certain things being paid or certain amounts gong various places, etc. I literally give him an amount that he is allowed to spend and that's it. A definite trust builder but I am a control freak about money and he isn't. So- I pay the bills. As for the things that make me nuts- especially during these rotations in the ward, the NICU, PICU, etc-

I hate doing all of the laundry all of the time. So, I still do all of the laundry but put none of it away until I feel like it(which may be that moment or may be a few days). He doesn't care so long as his socks and undies are clean and I don't end up feeling like a servant. Along the same lines, he makes a horrible mess making himself breakfast and coffee (at 5am- no wonder!) but I leave it unless it drives me insane. Not my mess to clean up! He understands that all of this falls in my lap due to his job- so he puts up with my idiosyncratic ways of handling my job and everything else. I guess, my point is just let your husband know he is going to be frustrated and he will feel 'put upon' and resentful and that's part of life. We acknowledge it when it happens and move on. Doesn't make it any easier, necessarily- but his acknowledging that I'm stuck with the short end of the household management makes it at least tolerable. and just remember to say thanks for clean undies.

[DCJenn]

My husband is slightly more than half-way through his peds internship. The things that I like- he tries to call- I don't expect him to, but it's nice when he can. He tries to help out around the house as much as possible, and we try to have at least one sit in front of each other and discuss important stuff comversations a week (even if it's only for 15 minutes!). Also, we decided while he was in med school that the person who is awake and home (me) gets to be responsible for the checkbook/bill paying. The person who is not home and/or asleep(him) does not get to question the person who is awake (me) about the reasons for certain things being paid or certain amounts gong various places, etc. I literally give him an amount that he is allowed to spend and that's it. A definite trust builder but I am a control freak about money and he isn't. So- I pay the bills. As for the things that make me nuts- especially during these rotations in the ward, the NICU, PICU, etc-

I hate doing all of the laundry all of the time. So, I still do all of the laundry but put none of it away until I feel like it(which may be that moment or may be a few days). He doesn't care so long as his socks and undies are clean and I don't end up feeling like a servant. Along the same lines, he makes a horrible mess making himself breakfast and coffee (at 5am- no wonder!) but I leave it unless it drives me insane. Not my mess to clean up! He understands that all of this falls in my lap due to his job- so he puts up with my idiosyncratic ways of handling my job and everything else. I guess, my point is just let your husband know he is going to be frustrated and he will feel 'put upon' and resentful and that's part of life. We acknowledge it when it happens and move on. Doesn't make it any easier, necessarily- but his acknowledging that I'm stuck with the short end of the household management makes it at least tolerable. and just remember to say thanks for clean undies.

I love it "the one who is awake" me, "the one who is asleep" him. We also do the same sort of financial arrangement however once every two weeks he gets a spreadsheet of some expenses--big ones, and at the end of the month he gets a complete detailed report--everything



sometimes it is 3 pages long--and I make him sit in front of me and read it--I don't want there to be any questions as to why we are living from paycheck to paycheck



I hear this one alot "Oh I forgot about that"--precisely why we have the system we do

I love it "the one who is awake" me, "the one who is asleep" him. We also do the same sort of financial arrangement however once every two weeks he gets a spreadsheet of some expenses--big ones, and at the end of the month he gets a complete detailed report--everything



sometimes it is 3 pages long--and I make him sit in front of me and read it--I don't want there to be any questions as to why we are living from paycheck to paycheck



I hear this one alot "Oh I forgot about that"--precisely why we have the system we do

I love it "the one who is awake" me, "the one who is asleep" him. We also do the same sort of financial arrangement however once every two weeks he gets a spreadsheet of some expenses--big ones, and at the end of the month he gets a complete detailed report--everything



sometimes it is 3 pages long--and I make him sit in front of me and read it--I don't want there to be any questions as to why we are living from paycheck to paycheck



I hear this one alot "Oh I forgot about that"--precisely why we have the system we do