when's the best time to have kids??

HELP!! I don't know what's come over me lately, but I can't seem to stop thinking about having kids! I've got a year and a half left of my undergraduate degree, and then I'm hoping to get into med school, so there's another 4 years of medicine + 2-5 years of residency! ahh! I know that I'm still young (20), and it's not that I *really* want to get pregnant immediately (although sometimes I think that'd be nice too ), it's just that I'm not sure I want to wait so many years before starting a family. I've been married for 6 months, and my husband makes a decent salary (we're not rich by any means). So, while I'll try to control my out-of-nowhere baby fever, maybe you ladies can help me think of when the best time to start a family will be?



I've heard people say that there's *never* a good time to start a family in medicine, so in some ways I think it might be easier to start a family before I go to med school, or maybe take a year off between med school and residency? The problem with that it we'll probably be at our poorest then!! Even when I'm in residency at least I'll be making *some* income instead of just costing money.



My husband is extremely supportive of my going to medical school, and he wants to have a family, but he gets freaked out when mention that I might want to have kids sooner than 10 years from now. He's 26 now, and both of our fathers already had kids at that age, so it's really not that young!



Okay, I know what I'd say to someone else if they wrote this: just calm down, finish school, and try not to obsess about things. So I'm going to try to follow my own advice because I know 100% that I want to be a doctor AND a mom, and I need to work on attaining those goals one at a time!



So please give me your insight! I don't know how many people on here are moms and doctors themselves, but if you know any stories about how to balance it all please let me know!



Thanks so much!

HELP!! I don't know what's come over me lately, but I can't seem to stop thinking about having kids! I've got a year and a half left of my undergraduate degree, and then I'm hoping to get into med school, so there's another 4 years of medicine + 2-5 years of residency! ahh! I know that I'm still young (20), and it's not that I *really* want to get pregnant immediately (although sometimes I think that'd be nice too ), it's just that I'm not sure I want to wait so many years before starting a family. I've been married for 6 months, and my husband makes a decent salary (we're not rich by any means). So, while I'll try to control my out-of-nowhere baby fever, maybe you ladies can help me think of when the best time to start a family will be?



I've heard people say that there's *never* a good time to start a family in medicine, so in some ways I think it might be easier to start a family before I go to med school, or maybe take a year off between med school and residency? The problem with that it we'll probably be at our poorest then!! Even when I'm in residency at least I'll be making *some* income instead of just costing money.



My husband is extremely supportive of my going to medical school, and he wants to have a family, but he gets freaked out when mention that I might want to have kids sooner than 10 years from now. He's 26 now, and both of our fathers already had kids at that age, so it's really not that young!



Okay, I know what I'd say to someone else if they wrote this: just calm down, finish school, and try not to obsess about things. So I'm going to try to follow my own advice because I know 100% that I want to be a doctor AND a mom, and I need to work on attaining those goals one at a time!



So please give me your insight! I don't know how many people on here are moms and doctors themselves, but if you know any stories about how to balance it all please let me know!



Thanks so much!

HELP!! I don't know what's come over me lately, but I can't seem to stop thinking about having kids! I've got a year and a half left of my undergraduate degree, and then I'm hoping to get into med school, so there's another 4 years of medicine + 2-5 years of residency! ahh! I know that I'm still young (20), and it's not that I *really* want to get pregnant immediately (although sometimes I think that'd be nice too ), it's just that I'm not sure I want to wait so many years before starting a family. I've been married for 6 months, and my husband makes a decent salary (we're not rich by any means). So, while I'll try to control my out-of-nowhere baby fever, maybe you ladies can help me think of when the best time to start a family will be?



I've heard people say that there's *never* a good time to start a family in medicine, so in some ways I think it might be easier to start a family before I go to med school, or maybe take a year off between med school and residency? The problem with that it we'll probably be at our poorest then!! Even when I'm in residency at least I'll be making *some* income instead of just costing money.



My husband is extremely supportive of my going to medical school, and he wants to have a family, but he gets freaked out when mention that I might want to have kids sooner than 10 years from now. He's 26 now, and both of our fathers already had kids at that age, so it's really not that young!



Okay, I know what I'd say to someone else if they wrote this: just calm down, finish school, and try not to obsess about things. So I'm going to try to follow my own advice because I know 100% that I want to be a doctor AND a mom, and I need to work on attaining those goals one at a time!



So please give me your insight! I don't know how many people on here are moms and doctors themselves, but if you know any stories about how to balance it all please let me know!



Thanks so much!

Speaking as someone who did not finish her education and followed the urge to reproduce ...I'll say that it was extremely difficult to go back and finish my degree. My degree is also in science, and the lab courses, etc can be very demanding, as you know..The urges that you are talking about are completely normal...kind of a "nesting instinct" in a relationship...and it is perfectly acceptable for you to put off having children until you've at least finished your undergrad degree...because balancing motherhood/education is really tough! You want to be sure that you are there to take care of your childs physical and emotional needs and also are struggling to take care of your own. I found that my grades did suffer because my children had to be a priority for me....and if you are planning on med school you'll want to keep the grades and MCATs as a priority right now. If you do have a child now, you may find that you can not devote the time and attention to studying that you need to.



I'd also suggest you run by Sethina's site...www.mommd.com It is a community dedicated to mothers (or women who home to become mothers) in medicine. They all have "been there/done that" and offer wonderful advice!



I hope this helped a little.......







Kris

Speaking as someone who did not finish her education and followed the urge to reproduce ...I'll say that it was extremely difficult to go back and finish my degree. My degree is also in science, and the lab courses, etc can be very demanding, as you know..The urges that you are talking about are completely normal...kind of a "nesting instinct" in a relationship...and it is perfectly acceptable for you to put off having children until you've at least finished your undergrad degree...because balancing motherhood/education is really tough! You want to be sure that you are there to take care of your childs physical and emotional needs and also are struggling to take care of your own. I found that my grades did suffer because my children had to be a priority for me....and if you are planning on med school you'll want to keep the grades and MCATs as a priority right now. If you do have a child now, you may find that you can not devote the time and attention to studying that you need to.



I'd also suggest you run by Sethina's site...www.mommd.com It is a community dedicated to mothers (or women who home to become mothers) in medicine. They all have "been there/done that" and offer wonderful advice!



I hope this helped a little.......







Kris

Speaking as someone who did not finish her education and followed the urge to reproduce ...I'll say that it was extremely difficult to go back and finish my degree. My degree is also in science, and the lab courses, etc can be very demanding, as you know..The urges that you are talking about are completely normal...kind of a "nesting instinct" in a relationship...and it is perfectly acceptable for you to put off having children until you've at least finished your undergrad degree...because balancing motherhood/education is really tough! You want to be sure that you are there to take care of your childs physical and emotional needs and also are struggling to take care of your own. I found that my grades did suffer because my children had to be a priority for me....and if you are planning on med school you'll want to keep the grades and MCATs as a priority right now. If you do have a child now, you may find that you can not devote the time and attention to studying that you need to.



I'd also suggest you run by Sethina's site...www.mommd.com It is a community dedicated to mothers (or women who home to become mothers) in medicine. They all have "been there/done that" and offer wonderful advice!



I hope this helped a little.......







Kris

hee hee. maybe there is something in the air recently! i must confess that i have had a few baby fever spells in the recent weeks, too!



hmm. . .i have been trying to figure out the answer to your question this weekend. i don't know if there ever is a right time to have kids - only you and your husband will know when the right time is - or that is what i've been told! what might be right for you may be totally wrong for the couple next door. we've also been married for 6 months now and i find myself falling into the "wait 2 years" trap rather frequently! you know how everyone always tells you to wait 2 years before having kids? i can certainly see why they say this. . .b/c your life will so drastically change after the addition of a little life. . .no more "alone" time - but right now i'm thinking hmmm, well how 'bout if i wait 1.5 years? and there are so many other factors to consider such as $$, school, how many you want, etc.

i totally agree with kris - at the bare minimum, finish your undergrad degree! i am finishing my MA thesis this semester and i CANNOT imagine having a baby while trying to write this monster. quite honestly, my husband and i have decided that the thesis MUST be finished before we even consider having kids. i also want to have a somewhat stable job/income coming in to our household. so make yourself a list of things that must be completed before baby comes - and this might make you feel better about the entire thing - and keep the fever to a minimum!

i only know one female MD resident - she is in her first year of residency and i often hear her expressing a desire to have kids - i have a feeling that she is going to wait until her 3rd year (it's a 3 year residency) -

feel free to come and chat about this anytime!

hee hee. maybe there is something in the air recently! i must confess that i have had a few baby fever spells in the recent weeks, too!



hmm. . .i have been trying to figure out the answer to your question this weekend. i don't know if there ever is a right time to have kids - only you and your husband will know when the right time is - or that is what i've been told! what might be right for you may be totally wrong for the couple next door. we've also been married for 6 months now and i find myself falling into the "wait 2 years" trap rather frequently! you know how everyone always tells you to wait 2 years before having kids? i can certainly see why they say this. . .b/c your life will so drastically change after the addition of a little life. . .no more "alone" time - but right now i'm thinking hmmm, well how 'bout if i wait 1.5 years? and there are so many other factors to consider such as $$, school, how many you want, etc.

i totally agree with kris - at the bare minimum, finish your undergrad degree! i am finishing my MA thesis this semester and i CANNOT imagine having a baby while trying to write this monster. quite honestly, my husband and i have decided that the thesis MUST be finished before we even consider having kids. i also want to have a somewhat stable job/income coming in to our household. so make yourself a list of things that must be completed before baby comes - and this might make you feel better about the entire thing - and keep the fever to a minimum!

i only know one female MD resident - she is in her first year of residency and i often hear her expressing a desire to have kids - i have a feeling that she is going to wait until her 3rd year (it's a 3 year residency) -

feel free to come and chat about this anytime!

hee hee. maybe there is something in the air recently! i must confess that i have had a few baby fever spells in the recent weeks, too!



hmm. . .i have been trying to figure out the answer to your question this weekend. i don't know if there ever is a right time to have kids - only you and your husband will know when the right time is - or that is what i've been told! what might be right for you may be totally wrong for the couple next door. we've also been married for 6 months now and i find myself falling into the "wait 2 years" trap rather frequently! you know how everyone always tells you to wait 2 years before having kids? i can certainly see why they say this. . .b/c your life will so drastically change after the addition of a little life. . .no more "alone" time - but right now i'm thinking hmmm, well how 'bout if i wait 1.5 years? and there are so many other factors to consider such as $$, school, how many you want, etc.

i totally agree with kris - at the bare minimum, finish your undergrad degree! i am finishing my MA thesis this semester and i CANNOT imagine having a baby while trying to write this monster. quite honestly, my husband and i have decided that the thesis MUST be finished before we even consider having kids. i also want to have a somewhat stable job/income coming in to our household. so make yourself a list of things that must be completed before baby comes - and this might make you feel better about the entire thing - and keep the fever to a minimum!

i only know one female MD resident - she is in her first year of residency and i often hear her expressing a desire to have kids - i have a feeling that she is going to wait until her 3rd year (it's a 3 year residency) -

feel free to come and chat about this anytime!

[DCJenn]

Speaking as an 'older' child-free person-



I was 33 when we got married and believe me- if I wasn't 35, there's no way we would be trying to concieve. Nope- not at all.



I am also somewhat biased but I truly believe that people should finish their education and be prepared to parent. In my opinion, waiting until things are at least somewhat stable is better for you, your marriage, your career, and most importantly, your child.



And remember- it's your husband who you'll be staring at across the kitchen table when you're retired, not your kids- take the time to really develop a solid relationship because it will be tested- just by medical school and residency alone. Add in other equally demanding things- like kids and you have a recipe for a difficult time.



Only we old people need to feel any sort of 'kid pressure'!!



Jenn

[DCJenn]

Speaking as an 'older' child-free person-



I was 33 when we got married and believe me- if I wasn't 35, there's no way we would be trying to concieve. Nope- not at all.



I am also somewhat biased but I truly believe that people should finish their education and be prepared to parent. In my opinion, waiting until things are at least somewhat stable is better for you, your marriage, your career, and most importantly, your child.



And remember- it's your husband who you'll be staring at across the kitchen table when you're retired, not your kids- take the time to really develop a solid relationship because it will be tested- just by medical school and residency alone. Add in other equally demanding things- like kids and you have a recipe for a difficult time.



Only we old people need to feel any sort of 'kid pressure'!!



Jenn

[DCJenn]

Speaking as an 'older' child-free person-



I was 33 when we got married and believe me- if I wasn't 35, there's no way we would be trying to concieve. Nope- not at all.



I am also somewhat biased but I truly believe that people should finish their education and be prepared to parent. In my opinion, waiting until things are at least somewhat stable is better for you, your marriage, your career, and most importantly, your child.



And remember- it's your husband who you'll be staring at across the kitchen table when you're retired, not your kids- take the time to really develop a solid relationship because it will be tested- just by medical school and residency alone. Add in other equally demanding things- like kids and you have a recipe for a difficult time.



Only we old people need to feel any sort of 'kid pressure'!!



Jenn

and on this same topic, will someone please calm my fears and tell me that you have missed your period before when on the pill? i took a test on saturday and it was negative. i have been relaxed and relieved and now some of my girlfriends are like oooh, that's not normal, oooh, it's too early to tell anyway -

it IS normal to miss your period if you are wacky with birth control, right?

thank you for calming my fears.

and on this same topic, will someone please calm my fears and tell me that you have missed your period before when on the pill? i took a test on saturday and it was negative. i have been relaxed and relieved and now some of my girlfriends are like oooh, that's not normal, oooh, it's too early to tell anyway -

it IS normal to miss your period if you are wacky with birth control, right?

thank you for calming my fears.

and on this same topic, will someone please calm my fears and tell me that you have missed your period before when on the pill? i took a test on saturday and it was negative. i have been relaxed and relieved and now some of my girlfriends are like oooh, that's not normal, oooh, it's too early to tell anyway -

it IS normal to miss your period if you are wacky with birth control, right?

thank you for calming my fears.