Here we go again...

[DCJenn]

Thought I'd join Kris here in the loonie bin.

Background- married for almost 6 years, spouse is an Army Child Neurologist fellow and we have one nearly two year old whom we adopted from Russia. (that was last year's big trauma)

This year's big adventure is moving, again. In the six years that we've been together, we have moved:

1) his crap moved in with me and my cats until he graduated/we got married
2) We moved to San Antonio, got an apartment
3) We bought a house, moved again.
4) We moved to DC, got a rental townhouse.
5) We bought a house.
6) here we go again back to San Antonio.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's 6 moves in 6 years...

If anyone should have a show on how to stage a house for moving it's me. (and I moved 12 times in 15 years BEFORE I married the military man)

I'll post more later. It's time for breakfast and I need my coffee.

Jenn

[DCJenn]

So- here's the deal.

I'm leaving my family. my friends. my comfy lifestyle here in DC. I LOVE DC. I love the politics, the culture, the smallness (it really is a small town, trust me).

But I loved San Antonio, too. but last time I was a high level exec in my field. This time, I'm not exactly employable. Not because of the SAHM thing, but because I was a Federal Surveyor, meaning that I have seen the seedier side of my field. and I have surveyed (investigated) providers of services for people with MR/DD IN San Antonio. Twice. I even surveyed former employees. (slightly bad but they didn't have anyone else who could go)

So, the choice is, continue as a SAHM, find a job in a different field or somehow create a job in my field.

Yikes! there are appealing parts to each. I am passionate about fighting for people's rights. maybe I'll go to law school...

(as Kelly boards a flight to DC to slap me around)

J.

[DCJenn]

Lists, lists, lists.

My OCD accompanied by my ADD (all self-diagnosed, by the way) causes me to make never-ending lists of things that HAVE to get done.

Last night's list included drinking too much wine as a direct result of reading the lists that I've been making all day.

Maybe it'll help if I share the never-ending list:

1) Rick goes to the Levy Briefing (military speak for "the meeting about where you're going")

2) Hopefully he'll get orders, but not likely. Once the orders are in hand, yours truly has to go to the meetings for the movers. Except that I have once again lost my military ID (4th time in 6 years) which means

3) Get new ID

4) Get another storage unit to have a place to put the crap in the basement

5) Rent a van to move the crap in the basement

6) Touch up the paint in the kitchen, including painting the door to the basement and the trim, plus one tiny area that I missed of the accent color

7) Wash the windows and rehang the window treatments

8) Rehang the broken headrail for the window treatment- will require two adult males and two ladders.

9) Take donated clothes to Goodwill

10) Go to Target and buy inexpensive bedding to throw on before house is shown.

11) Ask maid service to clean the refrigerator and the stove next time they come. (might as well have someone else do it)

12) Continue to pack and toss, pack and toss.

13) Send all of Nikolai's outgrown clothes to Russia.

14) Clean up backyard: take cut down branches to bulk trash pick-up, Dig out dead tomato and peppers, clean up the garbage from the roofers.

15) buy trendy and cute pots and place around the yard, so as to look inviting.

16) Figure out when Rick can take permissive TDY to go look at houses in Texas.

17) Remember to make Nikolai's appointment for his 2 year checkup, especially since we missed the 15 and 18 month checkups. (nice, huh?)

18) Breathe...

Jenn

[DCJenn]

Well, yesterday I managed to knock off the cleaning up of the yard part.

It's actually a pretty good sized yard (especially for a city property) and we really didn't ever use it to our advantage. Last summer in preparation for doing the roofs, the home owners association had to dig up all of the yards where they thought there might be leaks from the pipes. Ours was one- so, we really didn't do much. Now, I'm kinda bummed because I really like this house. It's nearly perfect for our small family.

I'm psyched about moving on the other hand though because I seem to do better with upheaval every few years. I have discovered that when there is no stress I make stress. Kind of wacky.

We were online last night looking at some properties that our realtor sent us. (Realtor aka friend and neighbor from the 'hood) There's not a whole lot available in our price range in the exact neighborhood we'd like to be in but there are four distinct historic districts in downtown San Antonio, so we'd be happy in any of them. Rick is insisting that he be part of the house picking process this time, though.

FYI: when we bought this place our friends from San Antonio were visiting and Rick was on-call. He had to go in and our friends and I went and found this place. It was literally one of three properties in this neighborhood that were for sale. It was also at the height of the buying madness that was the DC market. It's slowed down somewhat but things are still selling at a pretty brisk pace.

When we bought the house in San Antonio, it was Rick's intern year and he literally fell asleep standing in the corner of the house. A few days later he feel asleep in Julie's office while we were writing the contract. and when we went to settlement, he was actually up at Fort Hood and had to come in for 24 hours to buy the house. When it was time for him to come home from Ft. Hood, he had to call me for directions ("we're two streets away from the brewery, honey."

He actually didn't remember anything about the house when he got there and the only way he knew he was home was because my car was parked out front.

So, I want everything DONE. I went to overstock.com yesterday and bought the bed linens, a new table cloth, some new throw pillows and a blanket for the couch and some new kitchen linens. (it's all about the 'show')

The DC realtors come tomorrow to sign the contract- I just want this part to be over.

and then we can focus on Texas. and I do feel guilty about leaving because Nikolai and my parents are pretty tight these days, especially he and my mom. I grew up with my grandparents around the corner for the first 8 years of my life. It was really great and I hope that we'll be able to get back to DC after this part of the Army life is done. (whether we stay in Texas for the whole seven that we owe will remain to be seen. The Adventurous Person in me also wants to go to Germany.)

[DCJenn]

Today, after the Steelers victory, I'm in my "I don't want to leave my mommy" mode.

It was so fun, hanging out at my parent's house. My nephew and Nikolai were in their Steelers jerseys that my parents brought back from the 'burgh last week. (Nikolai wore Hines Ward, aka the MVP)

We ate my mom's Cowboy Chili (no beans, just meat, tomatillos, jalapenos and tomatos) and watched the game. we decided that the key to a Steelers Super Bowl win is that the Core Four (my parents and my brother and I) all have to be together like it was the 1970s. The only time the Steelers lost, the Core Four were apart- my dad was traveling in Manila, my brother was in New Jersey, and I was with my first husband's family while poor mom was home alone.

It makes me sad that Nikolai won't spend his early years hanging out with his cousin and his grandparents.

Oh well, unless we win the lottery and can buy out Uncle Sam, we're in San Antonio for the next three years.

Jenn

[DCJenn]

Yay!

the pre-move stomach ache is back...
the gall bladder should starting kicking me in the ribs pretty soon, too.

The list is getting smaller but that's because I've done the easy stuff.

Jenn

the good news? since my stomach hurts all the time, I never want to eat. Not the healthiest way to lose weight, but I'm glad I'm not a stress eater.

Bedtime. More tomorrow.

[DCJenn]

Today's obsessive websurfing has me job hunting again. and once again, there's nothing available in my field (developmental disabilities. actually, according to the bigwigs, they're now intellectual disabilities. maybe someday people will realize that labels are labels and ANY label is still a label. yes, intellectual disability is better than idiot or mongoloid or retard, etc. but it's still a label to separate 'us' from 'them'. but I digress. as usual)

Which gets me back to one of the other dreams that I've had since I started teaching people how to mow lawns in a semi-stright line. I HATE the group dynamics of work for people with disabilities- why must we take a group of, oh let's say 8 people, and schlep them around in a van, making them work at menial tasks that many of them have no interest in while wearing clothing that the group home provider bought at K-mart and Goodwill. and people wonder why there's a stigma? Half the time it's the providers, the other half it's the parents. Might as well hang up the big neon sign that says, "busload of retards here, make fun of us and pay us below minimum wage..."

Anyway, I'd love to start my own job agency for people with and without disabilitie- but I'm just not sure that San Antonio is the place to do it. While it's desperately needed, the people I'd be supporting would be competing against the college students and the illegal immigrants and the high school dropouts for the entry level positions. and let's face it, this is Texas. Reimbursement rates for providers just plain sucks. Getting people off the dole is something that Texas hasn't yet figured out does take an initial investment.

So, I don't know. I'd love to get in there and kick some ass because there are so many things that people with disabilities can do- and I'd love to prove that people with disabilities with the right levels of support can become independent (which freaks out the providers because on one hand if they make too much money, they lose their federal benefit which means that they're then going to live in the economy and can very easily fall through the cracks- but on the other hand, that opens up funding to other people who are sitting in large institutions or stuck at home with families that can't care for them.)

I could fight the good fight but I need resources. I need a few million dollars, some decent staff, and a marketing major who has a sibling w/ a disability. oh, and a mass transportation system that works.

[DCJenn]

Last night we called our friends who are in San Antonio with a list of places for them to go check out. (the same people who were with us when I picked out this place)

They know what we like, what we need and where we want to live. There's a great Pan-Asian restaurant (lots of Asian and German food in San Antonio thanks to the spouses of the military guys) near where most of these houses are so we told them to use that as an excuse to do some drive-bys.

Now, I'm getting excited again.

Plus the maids came and my house is clean and looks good. We have some painters coming on Monday to give us an estimate about finishing the rest of the house. This weekend we're heading off to the PX (or technically, the BX because it's an Air Force Base (post= Army, Base= everyone else) to get mulch and some decorative pots for the outside of the house. Plus some cheap paint for the front door and the trim. I had to get permission from the Homeowners Association to repaint the front door. It's seriously bright red. and it has to stay Bright Red. Like, look at a red crayola and add more birght red to it. Yuck. But, hey, it'll at lesat look better. The entire complex is painted in a very odd color scheme, mostly primary colored doors with variations on white as the outside colors.

Yes, it'll be nice to move back to a neighborhood that won't even bat an eye if we decide to paint our house a funky color scheme. Most of the older neighborhoods in San Antonio have fun and funky colored houses. (much like parts of Mexico)

I think the fact that it's 40 degrees with a serious wind blowing is also helping me 'prepare' to move again.

I also have a Mom's Night Out tonight with some people from the DC chapter of FRUA (Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption.) I'm somewhat leery about making more friends (because we're leaving) but it'll be nice to talk to people who understand where our kids have come from.

So...that'll be good. Rick can study and I can escape.

[DCJenn]

Things that I've been thinking about while playing Mah Jong (I'm an addict)

1) Tom Cruise is an ass and I'm uncapable of seeing any of his movies, which is annoying because I used to like the Mission Impossible series. Pisses me off that he's a nutjob.

2) Protesters who are against illegal immigration but yet stay at hotels that are no doubt staffed by current or former illegal aliens.

3) people who throw cigarette butts out the car window and then bitch about how expensive fish and crabs are. Same people who don't clean up the dog poo. Exactly where do they think the garbage and ick go? They don't magically disappear, they go into the rivers.

4) the greatest sound in the world is Nikolai singing Twinkle, Twinkle to himself as he hangs out in his crib after a nap.

5) Fucknut, whorebag, and shitheel are excellent combinations of words.

6) I wonder if the homeless guy asleep on the bench on the Mall was really asleep or if he was dead. and should I have attempted to find a cop (there's only 40 something police departments in the city) to let them know.

7) Grilled cheese on pumpernickel is a top 5 sandwich.

8) People with penises should get to be a part of the choice issue. and everyone should have access to birthcontrol. and Bill Frist is an idiot.

see? I'm just a little 'off'.

[DCJenn]

The list grows ever smaller, which is helping my stress levels-

Didn't get to the outside of the house- the 8 inches of snow which were preceeded by a day of crunchy cold rain took care of that.

The painters recommended by the realtors came by today and gave a good estimate and can start on Friday- yay. I was originally going to have them do the whole upstairs, but now I think I'll have them finish the hall, the ceilings, repair the hole in the ceiling (thanks to the roofers- that was a bizarre day...), and paint the walls and the ceiling in the bedroom.

Got the new bedlinens on and they look really nice, and now we just have to flip the furniture around.

Packed a TON of boxes over the weekend, we're sorting through books and related junk. For some reason we're both carting around our Norton Anthologies- mine from World Lit, his from Brit Lit. Can't get rid of them though- even though I literally haven't opened it since 1986.

in other good news, my friend used a guy who does moves for her company to help her move some furniture up and down her three story townhouse- and they were cheap. So, we'll get the second storage unit and hire these guys to get rid of the stuff.

and I have an appt. with 1800gotjunk.com and they're coming tomorrow to take out the old dishwasher and a bunch of old clothes.

It's coming together, finally. I seriously hope we are in San Antonio for more than three years, just because it's exhausting buying, fixing and selling every two and a half! (although even when I've lived in 'new' houses, I end up painting everything. OCD? yes.)

Jenn

and- in the "kudos to me" dept., the painter complimented me both on my choice of colors and my painting technique. Cool.

[DCJenn]

Nothing like waking up specifically to argue with your spouse. It's just especially nice on Valentine's Day- I've given up on getting gifts- I bought him tickets to go see the Cowboy Junkies in April and told him it was our gift to each other. A total cop out but what the hey, it reduces any pressure to actually try to find something- or to spend money.

So, I have a dentist appointment today. It's sort-of accessible by Metro, meaning that I've metroed there before before kid when it was the middle of the summer and made for a great walk. I asked Rick if he needed the car today because there are some days that he has to go between Walter Reed and Navy Med (Bethesda Naval Medical Center). He said he didn't need it but "someone was robbed going to WR from the Metro." So the F what? This is the city- nice people get robbed all the time.

I pondered though and as of last night, was going to take one for the team and throw Nikolai in the stroller, ride the Metro for an hour, walk for 20 minutes to the dentist's office and then do the whole thing in reverse. However, at about 5am this morning I decided, "No, it's not fair to Nikolai to be stuck in a stroller for 3 hours so that his father can drive to work."

I was livid. and it dawned on me that Rick has NEVER taken Nikolai anywhere by himself. If I go somewhere, they stay here. The man has never left the house, gone some place to do something and then come home. High time that changes, I say...

He did email me to apologize and ask if we could goout for dinner. (after I emailed him a virtual bouquet that I signed with the everso mushy message, "I'm almost not mad anymore".) Which would mean 1) I make reservations, 2) I hire the babysitter and 3) I tell him what to wear. He tries, he's just clueless...

But on the upside, got rid of the junk from the basement today.

Sad, what makes the highlight reel, isn't it? whooo hoo got rid of the dryer!

[DCJenn]

Hmmmm-

How my husband managed to get and keep his act together before me, I'll never know. Maybe his room-mate Will was his 'wife'. (yeah, sure the 6 foot 3 Navy Psychiatrist currently on his second tour in Iraq would LOVE that description!)

So, today's call was that he forgot his wallet and his pager. How he managed to get onto the Metro, off of the Metro and onto the post, I'm not sure I want to know. Nikolai and I traipsed up 7th St. to WRAMC though- and we got to have lunch with Daddy in the cafeteria. It's no wonder there are huge people that work there- there is utterly nothing remotely low fat or nutritious, unless you count the pale lettuce salad bar- you know, the ones with the beige tomatos, the canned black olives, the shredded cheese from the bag and about 10 mayonaise based salads??? Yuck.

I know everyone's posted their stories of how they met and how their child(ren) experiences have been. I've been around here for so long that I think 90% of the group know that I met Rick online (it's a funny story though) and that we adopted Nikolai from Russia. So- if anyone's interested in the 9 millionth telling, PM me and I'll repost here.

Now, I'm waiting for Nikolai to fall asleep for his nap so that I can continue the onslaught of the basement. I got so much done yesterday that I am actually stiff from lifting and packing boxes. I also need to go get the paint for the painters who will be kicking us out of the house tomorrow. (I think N. and I will head for an indoor Metro accessible mall in Virginia.)

We are having dinner with two other couples from San Antonio, one who was a year behind us, and one who was (is) staff. They're both married to fellow physicians so I'll have to remind everyone to dumb it down slightly. One couple is starting the adoption process and the other is pregnant. (Rick hates it when people say things like "we're" pregnant or "they're" pregnant. I don't know why.)

My MIL reports that the 20yo pregnant neice has still not completed her GED so, as far as I'm concerned the baby stuff is going to get donated. what more could we have done to motivate her...it's completely infuriating. and she broke up with the daddy because she wasn't ready for a commitment. WTF??? I'm not sure what she thinks having a baby is. I'm so glad we're not in California. Rick is so disgusted with his sisters and his neices and nephews. One kid managed to get out of Palmdale with out being pregnant or impregnating someone or marrying someone. ONE. Out of five so far. These kids have no aspirations; the bar has been set so low that they have no imagination. Rick and his nephew (who is getting his PhD) are like freaks in this family.

I'm only half kidding when I say that Nikolai can't go there to visit because he'll end up knocking up some girl, dropping out of high school and getting married. It's no wonder that Rick enlisted to get the heck out of dodge.

blech.

[DCJenn]

I'm so tired tonight and all I want to do is crawl into bed with my glass of merlot and watch the Olympics.

and maybe I will.

the realtors are coming on Friday to take pictures, the painters finished two days ago and now we need to finish putting everything where it needs to be for pictures.

We got the tax return- it is a beautiful thing: _ _,_ _ _. gotta like that from the feds! and the car dealership still owes us 10k for the BMW (they wait until they get the title before they release the funds...aka we hang on to your money as long as possible.) They will be hearing from me tomorrow. We've taken the divide and conquer route- Rick calls one day, I call the next.

and our friends in SA went to check out some of our top houses and reported back that two are actually viable. I made our plane reservations on Southwest and it's just all coming together. Which is probably why I'm so tired!

Oh well, time to chill.

J.

[DCJenn]

3/1/06

I've been ratcheting up the get ready to sell mode- last night I was in the basement untli 11pm getting the basement ready to be filmed for the virtual tour (the photographer comes tomorrow). I have a few more things to do down there and that'll be finished. I have 10 bags of mulch waiting for me and Nikolai is asleep so I'm going to post this quickly and get moving.

I haven't slept in a week- I have too much running through my mind. I spoke with a few mortage lenders and I have an appointment next week with the financial planner to see where we will get the biggest bang for our bucks with the tax return. I paid off two piddly credit cards and now I wait to see what else we should do.

I also ordered clothes for Nikolai, Rick ordered some books he needed and I bought new Avon skincare stuff. (It's the only stuff I've found that has sunscreen, wrinkle fix-it and doesn't give me zits...)

Yay! We're not cash poor. for the moment.

OK, off to spread mulch.

[DCJenn]

Tired, dead dog tired...

Yes, I've been up until 11 or 12 pm every night this week so that a photographer can come at take 20 minutes of pictures of my house. So, as I was on my hands and knees getting the tar off of the white floor tiles in the kitchen (Magic Eraser, FYI) I decided the following:

NO, he doesn't get to 'pick' the next house- I'm the one solely responsible for getting this one (and the last one, and my condo) ready to sell- I'm going to be a complete child and insist that I get to pick the favorite of MINE. I deserve some f-ing compensation for the fact that while my beloved is a work, (OK, he's working at work, but that also means he's talking to people, including grown-ups, and he's being taken out for lunch by a drug rep and he and his buddy went running at the gym, etc.) I have managed to keep the kid fed, clothed, relatively clean, AND walked the dog his required 2+ miles a day and changed the kitty litter AND laid 13 bags of mulch AND, AND, AND....

What gets me the most isn't the fact that he doesn't help, because he does. What gets me is that I have to point out things like "the stuff on the stairs needs to go up" (or down as the case may be) and the reason why I've asked him 1000000 times to take his shoes off when he comes into the house isn't because I'm anal, but because I'm tired of cleaning tar off of every floor surface we have.

I had to go run an errand today- and my beloved had the car yesterday. the day before yesterday he bought the mulch. Which required moving the car seat to the front -passenger seat. Did he bother to think that perhaps he ought to put it back? Of course not, because he's completely oblivious to the workings of the world around him. So, toddler in hand, with the rain coming down, I have to manage to put up the back seats, get the car seat out of the front and put it into the back and get Nikolai strapped in. I was so tired from staying up late and getting up early this week that I almost just sat on the curb and cried. But- I couldn't because 1) it was raining and 2) I had errands to run (like take his uniform to the dry cleaners...)

I need a vacation. A serious put up my feet and relax and do nothing vacation. It's beer-thirty.

Jenn

PS- its days like these when I miss my job that required weekly travel the most. I was able to be away 3 days a week. Man, does that sound good.