Life In The Real World

[PrincessFiona]

So I finally managed to move on! I think I just needed to have a good meltdown or something. Once I finally complained and got everything off of my chest, I felt amazingly good. I managed to steam clean the carpets in the living room and Thomas' office (and can I just say yuck...and yes I did take pictures of yucky water that I will probably post ) The bottom line is...yes, my mil is coming...and I am just going to have to deal with it. There *are* some good things about her coming and so I decided to create a list:

1. The house IS cleaner when she is here. Clean is good...I just don't really have the time/energy/inspiration usually.

2. I'm a better mom when she is here because I would rather play legos for 3 hours than clean :> AND I do german homework with the kids daily instead of sporadically. I also take much more time with the kids at bedtime to hide out upstairs :> So really, the kids benefit!

I do always go through a bit of a low period after she leaves because she is entertaining and when she's here I don't have to be alone.

I do love my mil...I know that her heart is in the right place but that based on her life experiences and her own issues she is unable to support Thomas the way that I think that she should.

So...I may need to be reminded of this in the coming weeks (and I pity the person who has to remind me :> )

I've decided to use the time when she is here to go to lunch with Alex (while leaving the little ones with her) and take some time for myself. The good side of me being in bed each night by 9 or 9.30pm lately is that it will leave dh time to be with his mom...and I can lay in bed and get caught up on all of my HGTV shows. Yeah...see....a silver lining!

I'm not going to change this, so I might as well embrace it and try and find the good in her visit. This, of course, does not mean that there won't be plenty of pictures and fun stories, I'm sure :>

This morning I had Amanda's 5th grade conference. I wasn't sure of what to expect and I was more than pleasantly surprised! Though math continues to be her weakness (she did manage a B-) she had straight A's in everything else!



I can't begin to tell you how elated I was for her. She has worked so hard and has come such a long way! I am so PROUD of her!

AND...I love her teacher. I absolutely adore her. This woman is absolutely amazing. She was incredible for Andrew last year and is a real role model for Amanda. That is the positive that I'll say about the schools today. We are very fortunate in regards to Amanda's teacher this year!

Of course, the conference also brought out unfortunate news on the social front. Amanda has continued to be picked on by our next-door neighbor's daughter who is in the same grade. The teasing happens on the school bus, in the bathroom and in the lunchroom. This week, Amanda ended up going to the school social worker about the problem because she was so distraught. The result? Our neighbor got a talking to at school and came home hysterical. My crazy neighbor ended up going into the school yesterday and apparently badmouthed our entire family <my god, does it ever end?> and then there she was, a grown woman, standing at her sliding glass door, jumping up and down taunting my 10 year old yesterday afternoon.

Amanda's teacher explained that our crazy neighbor had been in to speak to the vice principal and had said all kinds of things about us and...that it would be a good idea for me to run down there and tell my side of the story before leaving. I sent Amanda to the book fair and then met with the Vice Principal for about 25 minutes.

I felt really embarassed. I basically gave her an overview of the issues that we had faced in our neighborhood and the teasing going on at school. She told me that it was the opinion of our neighbor that my daughter is the bully (none of the teachers believe that though). I said "I understand that that is their perception. I also understand that her children are responding to their own stress by acting out this way, but it is my job to protect my children. Right now, my concern is for my daughter and her safety and comfort and I will do what I need to do to protect her. I don't care what the neighbor *perceives* anymore".....

And I don't.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Now that it is winter, at least we will hopefully be spared some of her drama. Since she is pregnant now wtih baby #6 though, her hormones may drive her to new depths....

Ahhhh, the saga continues.....

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

My mil comes today and I should be cleaning...but...I'm not :> Yesterday, I was uploading our halloween pics and some pics for an article I worked on and then the internet stopped working on my laptop. I went and tried to get online using DH's computer and it was down too. DH and I thought that I'd somehow done something to the network. We put a call into our cable provider and they told us that no one else had a computer outage and that they could do a service call in 9 days at the earliest.

We pretty much determined that we would be without internet while mil was here....and then last night we received a phone call that we had indeed been part of a shortage and that our internet was working and our service call was cancelled.

At least I was redeemed! DH was sure that my digital camera was the culprit! Now I feel the need to check up on the website/my emails instead of getting ready for the impending visit.

I wish I could say that every moment of yesterday and today I have felt like Zen woman about my mil coming, but it's not true. I'm trying to be positive and I do want the trip to be eventless. I want us all to get along and I'm going to do my best to keep things running smoothly. I can't help but still feel a bit resentful that dh chose to have her come right now .... but I'm letting it go for the sake of my marriage at this point.

The house is approaching fairly clean status (but I am going to grumble about the fact that dh read AND went to TJMax/Home Depot while I cleaned!). I asked him to clean up his office where she will be sleeping and he shuffled some books around and vacummed the obvious areas....there is still dust everywhere, the shelves are still disorganized and the room has to be revacummed. Sometimes I feel like he tries to sabotage me with his mom. Ultimately, even though it is his office, he knows that his mom thinks that every room in the house is my job to clean thoroughly daily (and maybe it is, but hey...FIRE me :> )...I know that he knows how to clean...he just doesn't do it anymore.

He put away some towels and blankets to *help* and then just shoved/rolled them into the cupboards. He told me he'd just tell his mom that he did it...but really...his mom will be appalled that he had to do anything at all and it will fall back on me again.

Things have kind of spiraled out of control a little with my neighbor again. There was a book fair on Friday at the school and my neighbor attended with her daughter after their conference. A friend of mine (C) was there. C's daughter is Amanda's best friend right now. C was running the book fair and was approached by my crazy neighbor, who began complaining that they had to move again because of us and were putting their house on the market (but not to tell me because I might get hysterical and freak out)...umm, yes, hysterical with joy! She proceeded to badmouth me and Amanda (and my other children/family) for a long time to anyone and everyone. C told me that she excused herself twice and left the room and came back only to find that the conversations were still going on and then to be included again each time she came back. She said that my crazy neighbor basically used this school-sponsored event taking place IN the school to belittle us all....and many, many people heard it or took part in it. So she does drive-by intimacy and then drive-by slander? I'm getting ready to do a drive-by roll her in cement and toss her into the pond!

Now, common sense to me would dictate that people would realize that she's a nutjob, but even my friend, C found herself being taken in. Apparently, crazy neighbor confessed that this summer when our babysitter had called the police that she has sworn at my children (in front of the police) and had sworn when talking to the police officers. She said they had threatened to arrest her. She complained that because she was on her own property that she had the right to say whatever she wanted. My friend, C, kind of agreed with her.


I pointed out that she was swearing at CHILDREN and POLICE OFFICERS.

"yah, but come on...she's a mom of 5. Where is the threat? Arresting her?"

"Kris, she said that she had to have another neighbor come over to be her witness whenever you guys went out and left the babysitter"

"Um, C, that neighbor sat and drank with her on her porch and told our children we didn't love them WITH her"

"oh"

But I felt like she didn't believe me. Of course she doesn't...it all sounds too crazy. And frankly, crazy neighbor is entertaining and plays the victime quite well.

Holy shykees (as Alex would say!)

I feel discouraged about it. <understatement> Amanda practically begged me to please give her a "normal childhood" when we were talking about it all the other night. Her teacher told me that she won't go to the bathroom or in the hallway by herself because she's afraid of being teased. At home, she can't go in our backyard or out front out of fear of the damned neighbor.....It's outrageous.

I can't belive that my daughter is reliving parts of my junior high experience and...that I am reliving my own junior high experience with her mother. I'm repeating many of the same mistakes as well...just trying to be nice...glossing it over...hoping it will go away.

I realize now that this simply can't end peacefully.....

This woman is not going to be able to sell her house easily. When she put it on the market recently, it was for well below market value....and she really had not takers. The deocrating is scarey, the house is cluttered and she has laminate wood floors installed next to the original hardwood floors that are not exaclty the same color...it looks bad. Recently, she has also complained to me that having her house on the market was torture as well.

To top it off, her house has already been on the market 4 times in the last 2 years because of all of her little neighborhood problems and issues. She still has the lockbox on her door from the last attempt because after she threatened to take legal action against the realtor for letting her cat in (and the subsequent pooping on her floor) they are afraid of her. WHO is going to even want to sell her house?

DH isn't really willing to consider putting our house on the market this Spring. He's given lip service to the idea, but we just used his bonus to install a fireplace in our lower level family/media room.....and I have no doubt at all that he would balk at any real suggestion of us leaving. With the market what it is, we wouldn't even get what we paid for it right now. My real vote would be to move closer to the Twin Cities on a few acres.....but since my 'dream' to move to this house in this neighborhood turned out to be an utter nightmare, I'm seriously afraid to make any more changes. What if my dream of being closer to the cities and having Alex, Aidan and Zoe go to the german immersion school would spell utter disaster for us instead of being something good.

Keeping the status quo might not be good, but at least I know what kind of bad I'm up against. Have I resigned myself to not embracing any more change? Maybe. I seriously was so happy when we bought this house. Thomas and I picked it out together....we made interior choices together...it is OUR house....but even if Crazy Neighbor moves now, can we ever settle in here?

DH can. His basic advice for this whole situation is: ignore it.

I guess (coming full circle here) it will also be a good thing with mil here. Regardless of my feelings about her regarding cleaning etc (and her feelings about me on this issue) I know that she is fiercly loyal when it comes to family and that she will stand behind us all. If she saw my crazy neighbor do something in the yard, she'd probably walk over and slap her or something.

Ahhhh, as the stomach churns................


kris

[PrincessFiona]

MIL has been here for almost a week....It feels like it will never end.

This visit has been a really bumpy ride for all of us. Emotionally, I am all over the place and I'm sure she's picked up on my craziness. I seriously am trying very hard, but I have so much actual life stress going on that I can't seem to find a zen moment at all. I think that her visit really is the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

I also let myself get so worked up over the problems with my neighbors that I think someone could have locked me up last week. really. I like being able to actually solve a problem...and this one has me feeling like I'm simply backed into a corner. My adrenaline is finally not on high alert over it...but I'm not quite to the "not on my radar" stage either.

The good news is that my mil has gotten a couple of glimpses of my neighbor and has taken my side. (That was a huge surprise). She even got to see my neighbor's daughter go outside this week to make fun of Amanda....Again...mil is on our side.

BUT...mil is incredibly annoying in her sideways criticisms. They aren't direct criticisms this time....she just tells me non-stop how my brother's wife is a fabulous chef (after my dinner went sour ), how the spots on my guest shower will never come off becuase I don't clean them each time someone showers, etc. She backed off on the cleaning I guess to see what I would do. I, in turn, used this time to sit down and chat with her, read, play with the baby and Aidan etc. Wrong ANSWER. Apparently, I failed that little test.

She told Thomas she thinks I'm a wonderful mom, but honestly....I think that was a trick too...because all she does is tell me about her neighbor whom she babysits for regularly and how this woman would never allow x, y and z....right after I have just allowed it. Then last night when I went to pick the kids up from an activity she told dh that I am clearly unhappy being at home. (Maybe I'm just not happy being at home with HER. )

It did, however raise the issue of lonliness and being a sahm. She's surprised by the fact that basically no one ever calls or comes over here. My life was much better being a sahm when other moms were doing it too. During residency, I really enjoyed it because every day we went to a diff. playgroup. My neighbors were all sahms too...Now though, things are diffferent. In the community that we live in, more than 70% of moms (I would guess) work outside of the home. For my children to play with other kids after school, I feel like I'd have to sign them up for daycare at KidStop....That's so ridiculous.


Back to mil....She complains about how much TV our kids watch, how they don't go outside and play (with whom?) etc. We had a serious altercation that ended with us ignoring each other for 1/2 of a day because of it. Basically, she started in about how horrible it is for the kids to eat lunch at school and come home at 3...because...in Germany, kids come home at noon for a mommy-cooked warm meal and usually stay home after that. On rare occasions, the older children have afternoon classes. It turned into a "if a woman wants a baby she has to sacrifice...women shouldn't work or they shouldn't have children...they need to be able to give things up"

and I just lost it "Oh, you mean like completely giving up themselves, their own happiness and who they are? The reason that women in Germany aren't having children anymore is because it is basically a prison sentence...the end of their lives They can't say "when my child goes to school I will go back to work...its OVER". Which caused me then to launch into a "you know, why send little girls to school? Girls don't really need to do anything beyond reading a recipe and measuring the ingredients and cleaning. "

It went over fabulously well as you can imagine.

I suppose the positive is that I've finally started speaking my mind. The negative is that I'm coming off soundling like a freak.

My mil is like one of those circus mirrors that distorts your appearance. When she holds up her mirror, all you see are your weaknesses..the negatives.

I can honestly say that I feel like I am losing my mind.





kris

[PrincessFiona]

DH's last work day was Friday...now he has vacation for a week. Yeah!!!! He's already taken his mom off of my back a little. Also, he had a talk with her about her nagging and criticisms and she has backed way off.

Yesterday, Thomas took his mom to home depot for cleaning supplies and to the grocery store while I was able to go to the library with the kids.

Right now, I have them each researching a topic of interest to them. Andrew is doing a power point on the origin of the universe, Amanda is doing a poster project about tornadoes and Alex is learning about turtles. He wants a box turtle for his birthday and so he's going to have to learn all about them and their care before I'll go for it. (Like we don't have enough animals in this house ).

Discussions about selling our house and our neighbor are winding down again (probably until her next hysterical outburst or the next problem with the bullying issue and her daughter). I am going to HAVE to find a way to cope with this woman's ups and downs so I am not riding the rollercoaster with her. Amanda is so upset about the problems between her and the neighbor's daughter that she literally begged me the other night to give her a "normal childhood". It really got to me and was part of what sent me over the deep end.

But I have to wonder...perhaps...what she is experiencing IS normal childhood nowadays. Andrew doesn't even want to go to school anymore because during phy ed the boys and girls tease him, laugh at him, call him names and trip him. Why? He's not athletic and he's not into the local sports teams.


FYI. Andrew is a great kid. He is kind, gentle, is wonderful with Zoe and Aidan, does well in school.....He's really a terrific person. I am very proud of the person he is. WTH is wrong with these kids who only value athletics...who can't accept that Andrew has his good qualities...they just don't involve sports.

Andrew has given up on the idea of talking to the teachers or doing anything about it. Add to that the fact that there are no levels now for math or language arts etc and he is bored to death. He has said that basically he is no longer interested in school and "what about homeschooling me, mom".



I feel like we can never catch a break.

This is why people always say "why?" when they find out that we have more than 2 children. It isn't because children themselves are so much work or stress. Honestly, they aren't. The extra laundry is a pain, but talking to the kids, reading to them, playing with them...it isn't work. I actually enjoy night feedings, toddler play areas and walks with the buggy. Since I don't actually do a good job of cleaning up, that isn't extra work :> I don't mind the sleep-overs, the chaos, the homework or taking them to activities. I enjoy baking with them, doing crafts and watching movies downstairs while we all share popcorn. When I consider all of that stuff....having 5 children is great...the more the merrier.

The *work* though, the part that is mind-numbing, frustrating and sometimes feels unbearable is the constant advocating at school and the worry over social issues . This is the part of being a mom that I am really struggling with...and I feel that I struggle alone. For the most part, these are less-discussed issues. Very few other moms really talk about the social/school problems. I have better talks about these things with other....dads for some reason. I think it is mommy competitiveness or something.

Other than that, what I mostly hear about is how the child is in competitive hockey and is trying to balance that schedule with their violin/orchestra schedule and extra spanish lessons.

I sometimes DO think that homeschooling would be easier because I would be able to control the educational atmosphere as well as the social aspect of their lives. Ultimately though, I know that I couldn't do it full-time....and I don't know that it would be *real world* enough for them.

It's just hard to feel so alone on these issues and not really feel like I have many people to turn to to discuss the realities of motherhood.

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

Alright, funny story:

Last week I cooked a meal that turned out.....bad. Since then, I've heard plenty of references to the fact that dh's brother's wife is a gourmet chef (as a hobby, of course) and that she whips up these fabulous meals. Of course, my mil is also a great cook...and I'm filling like a culinary failure.

So...

Today I went to Sam's Club and bought chicken breasts prepared with cornbread stuffing and cranberries inside of them. There was a cranberry sauce to put over them as well.

It looked like a homemade entree and so I snuck it home and pretended like...yes...I had made it from scratch. :> I even went as far as to thaw the cranberry sauce packets and put them in a bowl....pull out a wire wisk and some spices


The moral of this story? The chicken was terrible! It was so bad that the boys spit out the stuffing and none of us adults could finish it.

Now..how do I get out of THAT?

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

Mil just went out the door for a walk, so I snuck upstairs to catch up before going to clean the bathrooms .

Last night's meal was another flop. This time, we used a pre-marinated pork roast...and it was yucky...I tried to cheat using Schwann's mashed potatoes and got caught.

I'm feeling like super-failure woman! Hmmm....can't cook, can't clean...

To top it off, dh found out last night that he had to give a 45 minute presentation for ICU physicians and residents on pre-made slides. The hospital forgot to tell him and then when they emailed him the files they wouldn't download. Basically, he had to give this entire presentation using power point slides he had never seen! I went with him this morning while he gave the talk expecting to have to pick him up off of the floor afterwards.

Instead...he blew me away. This was a talk on Life Threatening Infections. He literally clicked open a slide and started talking as if he had...personally written each slide. He would use whatever was on the slide as a jumping off point and slid right into patient examples, binding sights for drugs, etc. I couldn't BELIEVE it. He actually went over by 20 minutes because he improvised so much on the slides.

I was really amazed...I couldn't have done that if I had had weeks to prepare.

It started to occur to me that I really....really am not very good at anything. Boohoo.

So, I did what any stressed out med spouse with 5 kids and a visiting mil would do. I went to Barnes and Nobles, bought a Desperate Housewives CookBook and am going to pretend like I cook incredible meals every day. God...I hope the recipes pan out. Why can't I be more organized? Why can't I keep my house clean? Why am I such a lousy cook? Why dont' I want to invest hours cooking and cleaning?

Let's all hope that Gabrielle's curry shrimp is a show stopper.



kris

[PrincessFiona]

Things with mil are going better than I expected this week. I finally just decided to let her do her thing....and thank her for doing such a great job. In turn, she's been so nice to me that I can hardly believe it....hugging me, telling dh that if he ever had an affair etc that I would move in with her (God help me) and he'd never see her again , telling dh off if he is rude to me ...... DH has been walking around very carefully this week! I think it's hysterical! DH is beside himself that his mom is constantly talking to me/taking my side now. :>

I decided (after much time and consideration...and regaining my composure) to confront crazy neighbor with the information that she had been gossipping about our family....I decided that I needed to take action and that she needed to know that I'm not going to tolerate the bs anymore.

So...I called her and asked her to take a walk. She kept going on and on about bs and I finally just very politely laid it on the line...I explained that I had heard these things from multiple sources. She became outraged at the other people for telling me, trying to bait me into being mad at them and not her. I held my ground. Eventually, she just stopped walking and apologized to me and told me that she was sorry and would not do it anymore.

I told her that I was willing to draw a line in the sand and forgive this and make it the past...that we could simply go forward with no negativity. To be clear, I was not suggesting friendship with her...just trying to make the situation more tolerable.

Her response? "So you don't hate me when my daughter is mean to your daughter?". I told her that the behavior of her 10 year old didn't influence my feelings one way or the other, but that I would only be upset with her if she continued to spread false rumors about our family. She was stuttering all over herself and I honestly felt pretty darned victorious when I got home.

The next morning though, she called me to once again tell me that the other people were wrong for telling me...and then tried to get me to be being angry with them (again) by telling me that they were all using me for this or that, etc. Then she tried to accuse me of doing the same thing she did and I simply firmly told her that it was untrue and that I wasn't going to discusss it. She started accusing Amanda of staring at her daughter's on the bus, etc, etc and said that our cat bit her cat.... She started flying into a rage about the people who had told me what she had said, demanding names, threatening to go to their homes...

blah, blah, blah.

I can honestly say that I feel a real peace about the fact that I didn't just sit around and take this even though it didn't have the desired effect. I feel really good about confronting this issue and letting her know that I am on top of this.

Mil leaves on wed. and until then, we have a lot going on. We're celebrating christmas early for her and so I'm working with the kids on finishing the gifts they are making for her, etc.

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

Being a doctor's wife has been entertaining lately.

I don't know if it's the weather, the time of year or just weird karma out there, but the crazies have come out to play.

My latest example from my own dawkter's wife files happened today. I was picking Amanda up from an afterschool activity and had arrived 15 minutes early. A car pulled up right next to me on my driver's side. The occupants proceeded to signal me to roll my window down. I recognized a man and wife that had been the parent of one of the boyscouts in Andrew's group. Their son was no longer a boyscout and I hadn't seen either of them in roughly 2 years. I had seen the mom a few times, but I don't even know her name. She has been a patient of Thomas' on several occasions.

She was sitting in the passenger's seat and addressed me as if we were lifelong friends.

Before I continue with this little story though, let me set the stage. We were in the roundabout pick-up drive-way of my children's middle school. It is a 2-lane drive. I was occupying one lane and their car was occupying the other. No other vehicles were able to get past us at a busy 5pm pick-up. People were flashing their lights at us.

The woman proceeded to tell me that she was convinced that she had MS (despite the fact that the neurologist had said that she doesn't). She had had a surgery today for a bladder pacemaker (part I) and launched into a "they had to go through my rectum and vagina ...and there is this thing in my vagina that is vibrating. It is so weird. What should I do about that?"

What should I do about that???!!! Don't tell me, for starters!

I actually said "I don't know...I guess you can just...go with that feeling" because really...I was trying to add a little comedy and....I thought the cars behind us were going to drive right over us. The cars in front of me had moved forward, so I then politely said "I need to move on up and let these cars pass. "

I pulled up. She pulled up with me. The cars behind us actually starting driving around her on the GRASS.

She went on and on about her bladder, bowels, vagina, rectum and then...the icing on the cake? Her cyst-like things that are making her miserable all around the opening of her vagina...which led her to an "I've been trying to get an appointment with your husband, but I can't seem to get ahold of him. Can you talk to him for me."

Really, if dh wasn't her ID doc...if dh wasn't a physician here in this small community....I think I would have told this woman to go bug off. Quite frankly, I found the whole ocnversation freaky. Thank God I had no other kids in the car with me...REALLY. I actually can't even imagine having a conversation like that with my own husband or a doctor. My GOD...I can't imagine telling all of that to a stranger! I am embarassed just retelling it here!

Yesterday, another friend of ours called. Her husband just had a bone marrow transplant for NHL (he was my chemo buddy) and he's doing well. He had abdominal radiation and has had some diarrhea (completely expected). The oncologist though did a stool sample that was negative for both c. diff and white cells but insisted on treating him as if he had c. diff anyway...and it was after 2 NEGATIVE samples. He is being treated at U of MN and dh pretty much just rolls his eyes.

BUT....the reason this phone call made my list this time is because the wife called me and immediately started sobbing when she heard my voice...then muttered out a "do you have time?". I braced myself to find out that my friend was dying....I took a deep breath and asked her what was going on. She screamed into the phone "doctors are fuckers".



He is going to live...he is fine...but I listened for 30 minutes of why doctors are so terrible. The thing is...she is so RAGEFUL...she yells at doctors and argues with them. She has a huge issue with authority. She kept dropping the f bomb and yelling and kind of demanding that I tell her medical facts that I just have no understanding of....so I turfed her off to Thomas. He was on the phone with her for another hour and a half....and he is not a phone person. He just couldn't get her to hang up.

If her husband hadn't been my chemo buddy...if my husband didn't treat her husband for his infections..........we'd probably have no contact.

Wow is all I can say.

Wow!

So...now that I've gotten all of that off of my chest .....

My mil finally left last week. I would say that the last 1/2 of her visit went much better than the first. I did a lot of thinking about my knee-jerk reactions to her. When mil cleans, *suggests* parenting tips etc, I feel criticized even when she isn't gagging over the dust under my stove or behind my washing machine and dryer (don't ask!).

The reality though is that she is trying to express her affection and love for our family the way that she knows how and she sees cooking and cleaning etc as a way of bonding with me.

I have a friend who works and is raising two children and there has been an occasion or two where I've been over and have cleaned up for her...imagining how happy she will be...it was a way of showing that I cared and wanted to help....so I decided this is what my mil was doing...and I went with it.

She told me that I needed to organize my spice/flour/sugars and instead of being grumpy about it I told her "I think you're right...I wish I were more organized". She couldn't believe her good fortune that evening when I said "why don't you go to Target wtih Thomas and get the containers that we'll need to organize that cupboard.

She was out the door in 10 seconds flat.

She brought it home and dumped everything out on the counter and I got to work with her directing.

The truth? It looked fabulous. Actually, it looked so great that I...got kind of excited. "Oh, Leni, it's wonderful...I have found spices that I didn't even know I have...thank you so much"...and she jumped up and hugged me. Seriously, I think she was near tears!

So..I said "I want to organize my whole kitchen...and the laundry room and our bathrooms". I went to Target, got the containers and...I did it.

It took 2 days and a lot of work, but...here's a sneak peak at my cupboards. If you zoom in on it all, you'll be able to see what I cook with





And...mil washing the windows and screen in my kitchen:


One thing that was really great about my mil being here is that she was able to witness several things with our neighbor, including the daughter's nastiness to Amanda. She became extremely protective of all of us, but especially of Amanda...and she has traditionally been most critical of Amanda. As a result of what she saw, she made extra efforts to connect with Amanda that paid off!

While she was here, our little Aidan turned 3. Here is his 3 year birthday picture. The best part, of course, is the shiner that he got while wrestling with Alex.




After mil left, we celebrated Thanksgiving...and...I went all out.I grabbed my desperate housewives cookbook that has served me so well and did Thanksgiving ala Bree...and...it was pretty fabulous (if I do say so myself )

Here's dh and the kids:


And the kid's and I:

You may notice that my hair is quite curly. That's not a perm..it's chemo curl...I really love it, actually!
And...Zoe....eating sweet potatoes!



The crowning glory of our Thanksgiving day to me though had to do with our cat, Scouty. All 3 of our cats are indoor cats, but Scouty sneaks out nearly every day. He has been known to bring back mice, birds and toads...but his latest conquest (or near-conquest) was a woodpecker Fortunately, the bird survived...but I was absolutely beside myself when he showed up at the door with it.

Scouty appeared to think that I had personally gone out and hunted for our Turkey He was so impressed with me that he sat on the counter watching me prepare the bird and everything that went along with it! He jumped down on the ground and purred and rubbed against my legs and then jumped back up to look at the Turkey. He seemed so...proud of me

Look closely...the bird is on the stovetop...the black cat is sitting on our black counters



We had a really nice Thanksgiving and then the whole family went for a long walk:




Since then, I've been busy baking

and cleaning
(yes, this picture of me really, really stinks...but...it is what it is..and it was fun to picture blog this time around!)

and trying to get organized and ready for the holidays.

Zoe is sitting up on her own now and Aidan (whom my mil says has 2 lives in him ) has been so active that it's driving me bonkers! He needs an outlet of some sort for all of his energy!

Alex is doing good and is getting ready to start soccer again. I've been driving Amanda every morning/picking her up in the afternoon to avoid our neighbor's daughter and it seems to be helping. She is starting to relax (fingers crossed!) Andrew is ...Andrew....quirky, fun...full of surprises. He turns 12 in 2 weeks. Where...oh where...does the time go?

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

I have had a tremendously busy week, with something that I need to do every day. I honestly don't remember a week where I had so many things that *had* to be done..from band concerts to dentist appointments to tours of the prep school for my 6th grader...

Tuesday, the kids put their boots out for St. Nickolaus. Or...St. NickoKLAUS, as my daugther says. Dh's brother's name is Klaus and she has never really been able to figure out that Nickolaus isn't Nickoklaus

Alex put everyone's shoes out by the front door and Nickolaus filled the shoes...only to discover that the family dog decided to eat the chocolates right out of them. So....Nickolaus move all of the shoes to the laundry room



In the morning, Alex got up and came down the stairs and lept towards the front door. There was nothing there. He tried not to look disappointed, but thrust his hands in his pockets and sauntered towards the living room. I could read his mind: "maybe Nickolaus put the shoes in the living room?" Nothing. He held it together and came into the kitchen and was searching about but trying to hide his curiosity from me. Then he peeked into the laundry room and discovered the shoes. He glanced over to see if I had caught him. Satisfied that I didn't know, he crept in to have a look before everyone else. I grabbed the camera and took a picture. I didn't use a flash because I didn't want him to know that I saw...I love this picture even though it is quite dark.



The other kiddos got up and around and came into the laundry room to gather their loot:

My *goth* girl


Andrew, who said "Look, Mom, can you tell St. Nickolaus that I want the Chamber of Secrets game for the Game Cube? You can buy it used at Game Stop for $6.95. When I looked surprised, he said "Come on...I KNOW that Santa is real...but St. Nickolaus? That's you?" Does my 12 year old still believe in SANTA? (you'll have to rotate your head to see...I'm too lazy to fix it! )



Alex:


Aidan and Zoe:

YES, this little boy IS a handfull, in case you're wondering!

and of course a pic of my little Zoe on her own:


The crowning glory though was my trip to St. Paul on Wed. to help Kelly get ready for her upcoming move. I spent most of the day there and had a blast.

Kendall spent the visit neckade running about with Aidan...and the excitement included a bath together after an unfortunate...acccident. Kendall is one tough cookie, but Aidan gave as good as he got! Pictures are of course posted with the permission of Kelly!



Kelly in the kitchen:


The week ended with an Internal Medicine Christmas party last night. I have to admit that I was kind of dreading it...and it turned out to be a wonderful time! The people that showed up were all down-to-earth and played instruments. We literally sat around and sang christmas carols while one of the med spouses played piano...we also listened to some of the docs and their children play violin, guitar, mandolin.....It was wonderful! I took voice lessons for 5 years and sang in various choirs for about 9....and it has been years since I've sat around with a group of people and enjoyed singing and music. I had such a nice time!

I don't have a picture of me from the evening...but I can be fairly sure that I looked...ok. I put on my Christmas party attire complete with jewelry and make-up and as I was getting ready to leave, Aidan kind of gasped "Mommy...You look like a LADY". Wow...I might want to consider fixing myself up more often!

The weird irony of the evening is that I ran into the first med spouse that I met when we were interviewing here. She was one of the people that made me feel like moving here..kind, down-to-earth and funny. She and I were also diagnosed with cancer last year right at about the same time. She had breast cancer and has gone through chemo, radiation and a mastectomy as well. We pretty much looked at each other and said "wow....long time no see...and WHAT a year, eh?". It was nice to make that connection again.

And weird.

They live on 50 acres in St. Cloud and now I'm busy convincing dh that we need to find 50 acres too! I want to build a house directly in the middle of it all! The only neighbors I hope to have are squirrels.

Needless to say, I'm exhausted after such a full week!

It's been stressful for me as well. I never thought that I'd get all neurotic about upcoming PET scans, but...I'm there. I've been waking up at 3am worrying about my Dec. 27th PET. I've gotten myself so worked up about the what if's that I've nearly cried. I found myself bargaining with God last week: If I can just have 10 more years....5 aren't enough..Amanda would only be 15...but 10? She would be old enough to help raise Zoe and Aidan.

Where is this coming from? DH and I are feeling the stress even though in all likelihood the scan will come back completely clean. Last weekend we had a horrible fight. We were talking about his mom...I was upset that she had told me that if my treatments had been unsuccessful, she would have taken Zoe and raised her as her own and...that Zoe would be so young she wouldn't have even remembered me. It had really, really upset me when she said that! Thomas said though that if I die that he will send Aidan and Zoe to live with his mom. He was serious...and I became hysterical. We started fighting about the 'what if' and he basically said that if it comes to that I'll have no say.

I left the house crying and called my mom and begged her to take legal action against Thomas so that the kids stay together in the US....and Kelly said she would fight as well.

All of this....and the scan will certainly be clean...

The real irony about the scan though is that it is planned for Dec. 27th...the 1 year anniversary of the day that I started chemo.

Everytime that I can't catch my breath I cringe "my God, it's back"...bubble in my side? Can't be gas...must be lymphoma.

I went off of my diet and experienced more weight loss...must be b symptoms I decided to go with it and got back on my diet and lost nothing...(Yeah...not B symptoms)....went off my diet for the holiday party (ate a LOT of yummy yummy things) and lost a pound when I stepped on the scale this morning (gasp...could it be B symptoms). I've lost 30 pounds now total (Yeah!) but it's taken me forever because I lose some and then test myself by going off of my diet....etc. It's crazy.

I need to get a grip.

The holidays are stressful for me this year because last year on dec. 15th I was discovering that I had lymphoma...the entire christmas season was tinged with a "will this be my last christmas" feeling.

I am here. I am alive. I am so blessed....and my life is really, really good right now. I feel more centered and happy to be at home right now. I've been cooking from scratch...making new dishes and sauces and treats for my family...the house is clean...things are all in their place.

Life is good. I need to let go of my fear.

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! I never did manage to get my christmas cards (or cookies) out the door. Sadly, My christmas cookies for the exchange have been bagged and sitting in boxes for 3 1/2 weeks. I'm going to mail them out anyway...hopefully they won't be...stale.

I'm so disorganized!!!!


Here is my Christmas Letter.... Click Here!

Next year, I promise to mail it...really!

[PrincessFiona]

It's been a hard couple of weeks....I'm not sure why. I'm just now starting to pick myself back up.

I really loved the build-up to the holidays this year. I strolled through shopping malls with a smile on my face, cried when it snowed , or when I thought about how the boys would react when they opened the wii, and I even invited people over for New Years. I worked on Andrew and Alex's quilts and got Mario done and Link *almost* done...pieced and pinned...just not quilted/sewn ...by Christmas.

But....

A lot of things dragged me down. At the sign of the first dusting of snow I burst into tears and couldn't stop. I remembered that I almost cancelled my dr's appointment last year because it was snowing so hard while I was driving there. Then the next day, after finding out that I had a tumor, I remember walking through the fresh snow holding hands with dh and feeling an odd somber stillness.

I took a gift and xmas card to my ob and to the oncology nurses right before Christmas. I started sweating when I got up to the OB clinic. I felt sick to my stomach and at first I didn't recognize that this was a stress reaction. I kept walking through the clinic until I got to the cancer center. As I wound through the hallways I realized that my heart was pounding in my chest....I was sweating and nauseated. I handed over my card and store bought cookies (ummm, yah, I had to throw out all of my baked goods...so I'm going to do something special for my cookie buddies this year that doesn't include...me actually baking something...I know, I know... )

Thomas dragged me down too. With the impending PET scan on Dec. 27th, he became angrier and more difficult. His anger was explosive and mean and we all began reacting to his outbursts. He has always had difficulty dealing with emotional stress, and this really sent him towards the edge. He was mean to the dog, to me, to the kids...it was lousy. We even talked about separating. It was...terrible.

In the middle of it all, my brother and my mom came to visit. My brother...well...he's 33, works temporary jobs...has long hair...wears black....you get the picture. I love him because he's my brother, but other than that...I have a very, very difficult time being around him. I found it stressful to have him around because he 1. knows everything and 2. I feel angry with him that he hasn't made more out of his life and still acts so much like a teen-ager.

My mom...well...again...I love her dearly...but...she just drove me crazy this visit. It started out on Christmas morning. I was really excited because I bought my mom a pda zire22. It's the cheapest that they make, but I figured that my mom isn't very tech-oriented and needed to start simple....plus...I didn't have the money for the next most expensive pda. I downloaded a ton of free medical software bundles onto CDs and wrapped them up separately as gifts from the kids. Santa gave her an extra stylus package and a carrying case for her PDA.

I was so excited.

She opened it and said "oh". "I already have one. You know that. I told you that."

So...the story unraveled that she basically bought a top-of-the line pda 3 YEARS ago for $350 plus an additiona $100 for a medical bundle and NEVER GOT the thing to WORK. NEVER. It is still sitting unused in her cupboard somewhere because she never got the product registration code. Supposedly, she emailed someone about it once, but "got busy" and forgot.

OK...come on. If I spent over $400 for something like that, I'd make sure I got it to work in the first hour I had it in my grubby little hands. So...she went on and on about "should I keep the pda you gave me" or "should I try and get the product registration code?" (ummm, good luck with that!). Then she went on about how she is going to ask for a refund

<------- I mean this in the most loving way possible, of course.

I pressed her about it later in the week and she basically made me feel like I had dementia or something since I didn't know she had one already.

In any case...she's going to return the one I got her...with all of the stuff that goes along with it.

I was really wound up tight before the PET scan and I didn't even realize it. After it was over, I called dh from my cell phone so that he'd check the results...they're pretty much read immediately and are on the electronic medical records system. I told him I was sitting in the van in the parking lot waiting for him to call me back. I waited an HOUR and played solitaire on my pda. He didn't call me back. I was afraid to call him then. I knew the results were in and that he would have called me back if it was ok. I started crying. I didn't know what to think...but I had to leave and take my brother out to the airport in Minneapolis.

Thomas finally called while he was on his way home and I was getting everything packed into the car to tell me the scan looked good. He hadn't called me earlier because...he couldn't force himself to go and look at the results. He was too afraid.

Finding out that the scan was clean was unbelievable to us both. For the first time in a year, I also allowed myself the thought that I wasn't going to die. I know that sounds silly, espeically to all of the onc spouses out there. 80% cure rate...those are good odds....but it's also a 20% chance of not being cured and....well...it's hard not to worry...it just IS....especially because Aidan and Zoe are so little.

I feel so emotional about this. Obviously, it's fabulous news. I feel like stones have literally fallen from my heart....and I'm also allowing myself to grieve a little for this last year. Thank God everything looks good. I feel so blessed.

We also had the computer issues that had to be straightened out and then I logged on here and saw all of the messages and I felt....like people were mad at me for not posting immediately. It's my problem...so I hope no one here will take it personally. I just started feeling like I couldn't keep up with everything anymore.

The computer story is interesting though. We have gotten intermittant web access for months now and at times our server has told us there is an IP conflict...we couldn't get online multiple times/day and our access was slow. My brother was convinced that our neighbors were stealing our internet because we didn't have a secure server. Before he left, he set up a secure server without, of course, letting us in on the passwords we needed to set it up from our computers

Since we have that squared away though, our internet access has been rippin' and we haven't had any downtime at all!

In any case, I don't mean to sound down-in-the dumps. The holidays were good despite all of the stress....the kids make it magical for me. I had a lot going on emotionally and with family issues, but I made a conserted effort to enjoy my decorations, the beautiful weather and the kids every single day.

Sometimes life can really throw us curve-balls....and it takes a lot of work to get things going in the right direction again.....I feel like 2007 is going to be a good year....

Happy New Year everyone!

kris

[PrincessFiona]

I can't believe it's already 2007! Seriously...I think I'm still stuck back in 1988 ... Ever since the calendar hit 2000 though I just can't keep up. If I ever went to the doctor's office and they did a mini-mental status exam, I just might fail:

"What year is it?"
"ummmm....2001?"

"What day?"
"pick any day you want...mine all pretty much run into each other anyway!"



I got a LifeDrive PDA for Christmas and I have been wasting countless, countless hours playing with it. (As in...up until 3am for the last 3 nights reprogramming the iMSN into wml format so that it is pda accessible too...eventually, I might even finish doing it..if I don't exhaust myself completely in the process! I was so exhausted today that I could hardly drag myself out of bed to get the kids up...It's just so much FUN to learn new coding stuff. I'm a woman addicted.)

It is this little toy (ummm, I mean...useful and totally necessary electronic device :> ) that has me realizing just how flippin' disorganized I really am! I literally have been flying by the seat of my pants for about...oh....10 years now . For the first time in forever, I actually KNOW when Aidan's orthotics appointment is without 1. missing the appt. and having the office call me to reschedule and 2. without knowing it's "someday this week" and calling at 8am on Mond. morning to make sure we don't miss it.

I have all of my appointments in there for the next 2 weeks...I can't believe it!

To top it off, I was able to download a recipe program that is unbelievable...it is exactly what I've been dreaming about, really. Some of you probably know that I have a family menu book where I have all of our recipes organized. Basically, I use the plastic drop-in sleeves and each week, I replace the recipes with the new week's recipes...and keep my recipe collection in the back of the book. It's a great way to keep me and the kids and Thomas in the know about our week. I have pics of us eating our food and the menus themselves. (My mil thinks it's the funniest thing ever, but I love it...and so does everyone else.) Anyway, I downloaded a Recipe program that allows me to input my recipes...then I can do a one week meal planning on the pda with a special meal planner/calendar function and then...I can even add all ingredients to my shopping list for the week. I can alter the list if I already have some of the ingredients, etc. Then...I can take my pda shopping or bluetooth it to the printer. It's so...COOL.

This is proably the most exciting thing to happen to me in....5 years (outside of babies and remission!)

On the family end of things, it's been quieter....but I'm really concerned about Amanda and the middle school. I just don't know what the solution is for her anymore. Basically, I drive her to school every day and pick her up so that she doesn't see our neighbor's daughter who is so mean to her. I've tried to limit any exposure to the neighbor's girls for her...and the result? The neighbor's daughter moved her table in the lunchroom to be next to Amanda's table just to give dirty looks. Then, over the winter break, she invited one of Amanda's best friends (whom she has been friends with for 4 years) over to play. She went on and on about Amanda and how terrible she is, and so Amanda went back to school after the vacation and met her friend for lunch in the cafeteria. The friend wouldn't sit next to her and said "I'm X's friend now, not yours. I went to her house and she told me all about you. You're a brat, Amanda."

Poor Amanda....before the vacation, Amanda saved up all of her allowance money and did extra chores to earn some christmas cash just to buy gifts for her 3 closest friends. This little friend was one of them. Sadly, not one of her friends had a single thing for Amanda and she was terribly disappointed. I had warned her that 5th graders dont' exchange christmas gifts, but apparently she and her friends had talked and had planned on doing so.

Amanda's little heart is broken right now about the issue with the friend.

During our Christmas vacation, Amanda was so easy-going and fun to be around...then 2 days before school started back up, she turned into a little monster...and when confronted, she wrote me a letter to tell me how unhappy she is because of all of this stress.

I don't know WHAT to do. Do I put my daughter in therapy because girls suck? Should she see a counselor to deal with the fact that we have a crazy neighbor with a crazy daughter who has made her life a living hell for the last year on top of all of the other stress.

For the whole time Amanda was home, she was kind, nurturing, loving and not moodly for a second...but as soon as school was back on agenda all bets were off.

I feel as backed into a corner as my daughter. I don't know what to do. I can't allow this to continue and yet at some level this is just the hard reality of growing up as a girl. I can't really go to the teacher about this. What is she supposed to do? I have even thought of going to the friend's parents, but...I just feel akward.

I am very seriously considering withdrawing Amanda for the year and homeschooling...The only thing holding me back is really just not knowing how to do it...and worrying that it would teach her that it is ok to run away from our problems.

Kris

[PrincessFiona]

Yeah! We're done with our science fair project.

I mean....ummmmmm...Andrew is...done with his science fair project. javascript:emoticon('')
Mr. Green

I have seriously had the best time helping him with this. It made me realize how much I enjoyed teaching and how much I miss it.

He basically came up with the question of whether or not noise effects student's test taking ability. He gave three math tests to a group of students and changed the noise level in the room for each test. It was pretty interesting.

He was sure that the hard rock music group at 90 db was going to have the worst math test scores...which...they didn't They actually had the best scores on his tests

We made graphs of average grades, did a scatter plot, did a regression analysis...yippee...we had fun. I have been busy with helping and explaining for days and it has been a blast. I can't believe how little help they got from their science teachers though. Pretty much, they were told that they had a science fair project to do, that they needed to separate it into sections: Background, Recipe ( RECIPE??? Try Materials and Methods...HELLOOO. Why start out teaching a child the wrong name? Andrew kept telling me "Mom, the Recipe is just a list of ingredients." You know me...MRS. Math...I insisted that he do a proper Materials and Methods section in the past tense without the use of I, my or we. :> I'm sure Angie and Fluff are rolling their eyes at me right now. He balked at first and then was so proud of himself when it was all done! )

We spent 2 days talking about scatter plots and best fit lines...

He just couldn't *get* the whole equation of the line thing until I told him that the equation of the line is like the line's URL address. :> I'm sure there is a math person out there screaming "OMG, she told him the equation of the line is like a URL address...why can't she teach it to him correctly the first time?" The correlation Coefficient or R2 value turned into an internet 404 error. BAM...he got it. I sort of cringe a little about this. I understand that this helped him to understand the concepts, but I absolutely abhor the idea of teaching kids things like "the mitochondria is the power house of the cell" or "a cell membrane is like a plastic bag holding the contents of the cell" (Ummm..no, not even close).

He was so excited. I ... was so excited. So he ran around making little scatter plots telling me about the URL of the line (ANDREW, NO...it's the EQUATION of the line..."yah, whatever" and explaining to me what his results meant...and...yes, he did "Get" his results!!!!!

NOW, the only downside to this whole mom helping with the science fair project thing (and btw, I saw some of the other poster boards and I'm soooo not alone....some kids got help from moms that were art majors in college, I'm sure ) is that I don't really know if a regression analysis was the right tool to use... It seemed to fit and was the easiest and I'm not really comfortable with many other tools anymore. So...I can hear it now "ha, ha, your mom helped you with your project and you got an F"

I'm totally stressing for him. He doesn't present until Monday, but he informed me that he wanted to practice more graphs and keep learning until then so that he could really do a great job.

Go Andrew Go!

We had so much fun...what a bummer that it's over!

On the Amanda front...(and can I first thank everyone for the PM feedback. I feel like a heel for not responding yet, but I've been busy with my science fair project...I mean...Andrew's science fair project )things went from bad to worse....of course. Amanda and 2 other girls ended up in the office talking to the school counselor yesterday after some yelling matches and this little girl's older sister stopping them in the hallway twice and threatening them.

I just got off the phone with the vice-principal who is ready to take action.

I pretty much told the vp that I don't know what my daughter's contribution is to all of this and that I wanted her to talk with the other girls independently to find out if my daughter has a role in any way, shape or form in this. If so, I want the disciplinary action to be even-handed....ie...both Lauren and Amanda would get detention.

My gut feeling is simply that Amanda is not involved other than having hurt feelings and being upset....I know what I've seen here at home in the backyard. I just want to make sure. Also, I didn't want to seem like the kind of mom who blames everyone else's kids and never takes an honest look at her own child's behavior.

I am expecting an investigation to clear my child. If it doesn't....well....then you'll all hear about that too.

I admit that I was offended that the vp said that in cases that go on and on like this that usually both kids are involved in the teasing.

I'm going to open up a little to you guys.

I was teased horribly in the 7th and 8th grades. I had people stick notes to my back "kick me" (and they sure did!), had kids pour food on me in the lunchroom (and I got in trouble for getting up and going over and yelling...I got detention for it...the injustice still bothers me today). I was a cheerleader (basketball) for those 2 years and when I was cheering, the *popular* girls actually threw food at me and heckled me from the stands. I spent 7th and 8th grade in an utter tailspin. I believe these experiences shaped my social problems today!

At the end of 8th grade, one of the *popular* girls (whose name I still remember, btw) cornered me in the school atrium with about 50 other kids (at least). She got a 2 liter bottle out that she had filled with perfume....and she poured it all over me while everyone laughed at me. I was devastated and embarassed.

The next day, the same group of popular kids planned to do it again...and a girl I barely knew came up to me and told me. I reacted defensively, assuming she was *with* them...and she turned to me and said "I wish I hadn't told you...I bet you deserve it". I tried apologizing for being defensive and she just walked away. The same girl came at me with the bottle of perfume and...I socked her in the jaw so hard that she was bleeding...and then I ran all the way to the principals' office in tears.

I was..a geek in school. I loved polo-style shirts and...I wore the buttons all the way to the top. I didn't unbutton them. Can anyone say..Mrs. Math?

Amanda's issues with this girl really strike at the core of who I am. I am devastated by what is happening to her because I don't want her to suffer the rest of her life with social issues because of the actions of a few idiotic girls.

I really don't feel that I was involved in the teasing that happened to me...other than drawing negative attention possibly to myself by dressing odd or getting embarassed/upset about being ridiculed. Because the kids could see how much it bothered me, they kept doing it. It makes me a bit uneasy that the principal is ready to say that both girls are responsible because it's gone on for so long.

Ahhhh...as the stomach churns.............



kris

[PrincessFiona]

So...there's good news and more good news!

First off...our neighbors are moving (well, they say they are AND there is a "For Sale" sign in front of their house yet again.) Basically, as the soap opera goes....they decided to move to a warmer climate and he started applying for jobs in TX. He has job interviews next week and they are prepared to accept an offer, leave their house here and move there and rent until this one is sold. They actually now prefer to leave the house here vacant to showing it until it's sold. The mom told me that they expect to be gone in 3 weeks.

I'm...cautiously optimistic. I'll believe it when I see it.

More craziness has gone on ...but it doesn't involve us. I would love to update the blog and say exactly what has happened...but all I can tell you is that she is in a hurry to get out of MN for a reason ....AND...it involves her children and the school psychologist AND the local hospital. For this reason, I'm pretty convinced that this time they are really trying to get out of here ASAP.

I never did get a chance to show off the Christmas pics. My camera broke and I didn't have a way to transfer the pictures to my laptop. I finally got a replacement camera with our American Express points and so...Here they are!


Our Tree after Santa Came!


Zoe opening up a gift!


Aidan bringing us a gift to help him get out of the box. He had such a blast!


Amanda opening up a Bratz head board game.

Oh...Amanda. Amanda...whose clothes I threw away yesterday! Yes...you read that right. I have no problem with her having a pair of ripped jeans or a few funky shirts...but it defines her now. Her behavior has become so rude, disrespectful and unbearable. Yesterday, after she smarted off to me in an unbelievable way, refused to go to her room and told her father and I that she didn't have to do what we told her to...I went upstairs, removed every stitch of cool clothing she owns, put it in a big black garbage bag and hid it...and replaced it all with a few baby pink, baby purple and baby blue sweaters that I snagged off of the sale rack at the store whose name dare not be spoken for $4/each. She has a wardrobe of clothing now that a girl would wear...not a little punker with a big mouth.

To say that she was startled would be a huge understatement. To say that she was beside herself with rage would also be an understatement. Basically..it stinks to be her, and until she learns to show me some respect and behave appropriately, she will wear what I buy for her.

But...I was showing off happy Christmas pictures...so...



YEAH...the WIIIII Notice the total amazement, joy and surprise. He was so thrilled. He just couldn't believe it.


Alex was pretty happy too...but if you look closely, you'll notice Andrew clutching the Wii laying on the floor pretending to have fainted.

I finally got the wii club picture off of my cell phone (my brother did it for me )

Here I am after waiting all night with the little group:



We had a nice german meal for Christmas: Braten and Spaetzle. Thomas thinks Turkey once a year is more than enough! That's my brother with the...animated...smile.


For New Years, we had some friends over...and we made a new German Punch with Compari, Sekt and some other yummy stuff.



Yes, it's sad. I'm about to post pictures of food. Little hidden secret about me...I'm a bit of a foodie...I just don't get out to each much, and I really do enjoy cooking. I take pics of some of the things we eat for our family recipe book/menu. Every Saturday night, I put out the pages of recipes for the next week and then everyone knows what the meals are each day (including me )

A picture of my mom on New Year's Eve:



Hi Mom!

And some of our food:




My decorations:


I put these up throughout the house...All of the hanging papers have sayings on them....wishes for the new year...frienship, happiness, health etc.

Ummm...we still have them up because I have been too lazy to take them down.



Hmmmm...my new favorite recipe....potato chip schnitzel

with cherry dessert


Obviously...I need to go and have some lunch or something.

I'm getting out of my food pictures now.

Zoe has begun scooching herself. She tried the whole crawling thing but just couldn't get it to work out. I'm not sure if this is a *normal* way that some babies crawl around ... but it sure is interesting. Basically, she can get on all fours, but can't get her legs to do what she wants them to do. Instead, she has adapted to sitting and using her left arm to basically pull her around.

Here's my ending video.....enjoy the dustbunnies on the floor and all of my fabric mess etc under my desk Click on the video and it should play for you.



Oh, OK...one with her smiling a little (she bonked her head being busy moving around and has a little bruise! Poor thing! ) Notice the cute little tummy!





Kris

[PrincessFiona]

Ugh...two for the price of one...I have the stomach flu and an upper respiratory thing. Yucky for me.

All of my kids have been sick this week...there hasn't been a day that one of them wasn't home from school. The illness was split. Amanda and Andrew had the stomach stuff and Alex, Aidan and Zoe have had an upper respiratory thing. Now Alex is home again with the stomach thing and I seem to have both....

Hopefully, our sickness is coming to an end.

I'm feeling irritable this week. Yesterday, I took some of Zoe's clothes to Once Upon a Child. I couldn't stomach taking any of her preemie stuff...I have decided to hold onto the clothes and make a quilt for her out of them. I just can't let go. I'm very meticulous about how I prepare things to take to the second hand shops. I go as far as to iron things, put them on hangers, etc. I never bring in anything soiled or with flaws.

They only took 1/2 of my stuff and told me that the reason that they didn't take it was that it was soiled. I actually got into an argument with the woman. They didn't take a single onesie. I asked if they had too many or what the issue was. Again, the woman said "we couldn't take yours because they were soiled...we have fluorescent lights and we see things that you don't at home".

The real irony is that most of the onesies that I brought in had never been worn by Zoe...not one single time. I had even unrolled and untaped many of them before brining them in. My mom bought a ton of onesies for us and she just never wore them.

I pointed to the pile of onesies and said "they never touched my daughter's skin".

"They are soiled". She pulled out a onesie and said "see, there is stuff here around the collar". I squinted. "where? my daughter NEVER even wore that. It is brand new".

I was so angry...not for the fact that I didn't get the .25 for the onesie, but because she kept insisting that I brought in soiled garments...Finally, the store manager intervened (I had already gotten my money, btw...I just couldn't stop arguing about this because I felt my...second-hand integrity was at stake ) She told me that they had too many girls onesies and other things right now and to just bring them back at another time...then she gave me a schedule of when to bring them back.

wankers.

I'm so grouchy How dare they tell me that my never-been worn before onesies are soiled.


Andrew got his science fair project back. He got a B. Why? There were 2 comments. One was that it wasn't decorative enough. (WHAT?????? It was plenty decorative) and the other was "I question your results" He questions the results? Obviously, the science teacher is a total retard. He questioned the results? Could he have been more specific? Apparently, the big issue was that he felt the report could have been decorated better on the poster board. I'll have to take a pic and post it...it was decorative enough....red science fair project board, all sections were pasted onto paper with musical notes on them, musical notes stickers were on the board....

The winner? The best project? A kid who did "what time of day can I make the most free-throws". I'm serious here. Do I play basketball better in the morning, noon or night. The kid did some freethrows, decided what time he got the most and decorated his board with a pop-out basketball hoop and mini basketball so kids could come by and try out their own free-throws etc. I'm not KIDDING.

Seriously...I'm so floored that I am beside myself. I'd call the teacher, but...I don't want to be one of 'those' parents and I'm so angry that I might say something unfortunate. Andrew took it all in stride. It's a good thing he's more mature than me :>

Since I let it all hang out about the kids problems etc though, I'm going to offer a shameless brag here. Andrew visited a private prep school here a couple of months back and they told us that they were already full, but that he could apply (including sending in transcripts, a letter of recommendation and writing an essay ) and would be placed on the waiting list. We sent in his transcripts and his Iowa Test scores and MN comprehensive scores. He also had a teacher recommendation. We never finished the application though...Andrew never filled out the application or wrote the essay and we haven't pushed it because the school costs $5800/year and we don't really know if we want to get into that. Beyond that, I already knew he would be pretty far down on the waitlist.

The school director called me yesterday...she reviewed Andrew's Iowa and MN comprehensive scores and said "if you will have Andrew send in his essay, he will gain immediate acceptance to our institution. We....really...want him to come here". I asked about the waitlist....in Andrew's case...they would make an exception and admit him straight away.

Well....go, Andrew, go! That is my shameless brag. I think that if I can post the truth about the tough stuff that the good stuff should be fair game too.

Amanda...well...it finally hit her that her clothes are gone and she has only nice, neutral, girly things to wear. She cried all morning getting dressed yesterday (it was her first day to school all week what with being sick) and.....finally went in a light pink sweater. :> I took a pic...I'll have to post it later! I called her teacher and asked her to support us by commenting on how nice Amanda looked. The teacher passed that message on to the other teachers and Amanda came home feeling good about what she was wearing....there were no meltdowns or temper tantrums this morning and I have to say that Amanda was an absolute angel yesterday in terms of her behavior.

Alex has been sick and miserable most of the week....He's only gone to school one day, I think. Yesterday, I thought he was finally on the mend. This morning he woke up crying with a stomach ache.....so he's home again. It's just the yuck running through our house.

Aidan has been going through an "I hate you you stupid mommy" phase.
:| Finally, yesterday, he started cuddling back up to me. The last two months or so has been all about thomas. "NO, I want papa to make me my cereal" coupled with meltdowns when thomas went to work. I feel so rejected

Zoe is the queen of scooch. She has adapted from trying to crawl to mastering the one-armed scooch that is in the videos of her that I posted. She is so fast now...but it is the funniest crawl I've ever seen. None of my other kids did the skooch before. She is eating table foods now for the most part and is so busy. She has bumps and bruises all over her forehead now from bumping into things. It's embarassing. I wonder what people think when they see her!

My final news in my grouch saga is...Andrew spilled diet pop on my laptop and...fried the motherboard. I'm relegated to my kid's super-slow computer. I am so grateful that I was able to get my pictures off of it before it died completely...and I guess ultimately it's my opportunity to upgrade. It just won't be happening anytime soon. I did find an Aspire on sale her for $500...but that would completely deplete my vacation savings fund...and...I just don't feel right about doing that. Waaah.

Kris