The former posts ( 1

[Lisa]

No, Kristen it was not meant in jest toward you personally. I don't see how my post could have possibly been taken that way as I went to great lengths to word it in such a way as to be respectful to everyone here and have an objective attitude. I respect you a great deal and have no reason or desire to make any unprovoked sarcastic remark toward you and with all due respect, I resent the presumption that that's what I might have been doing. In any case, it seemed like a logical idea and a possible solution to me and that's why I suggested it.

Please let me know what the responsibilities of being a moderator would be. I would love to take the position if it doesn't require too much time and attention away from my children.

Thanks for taking my idea into consideration.

Lisa

Wow--I am also torn on this one, however I am going to try my very best to explain why I think the password protection on the G/L sight is warranted.

We are all going through various stages of the medical spouse experience. We have all experienced days, weeks, and sometimes months of frustration over our spouses line of work. I would please that everyone at least try, I know it is sometimes hard to understand so I thank you in advance for trying, however most, and I do mean most G/L medical students/residents, are not as lucky as daniel and I. Daniel's hospital did not enlist him and then begrudgingly deal with the fact that he was gay and had a partner. On the contrary they celebrate the fact that he is different. They celebrate the diversity throughout their programs.

That being said there are many who are by their choice of specialty forced to word in an environment that is very hostile. We have all either heard of indidivuals or have been personally affected by a system, which in my opinion is secretly designed to beat the hell out of those that we love. The whole gay issue brings one more issue to bear. I have heard folks talking about residency programs that weren't very "family friendly". I am sure everyone here can probably relate to the fact that if they aren't "family friendly" the chances of them being "g/l friendly" is even more remote. The password protection was not necessarily to keep people out in my mind. It was an opportunity for those who have to conceal who they are for thier spouses carreer, can do so feeling confident that they can remain annonymous. That is all. I have been so impressed with the intellect of this group. The compassion that you have all shown me--especially last month, I will be eternally grateful.

I guess with my piece being said, I would say--let the board decide. If my concerns do not seem valid, or I have failed to convince everyone that this is a benefit to others who aren't as fortunate as Daniel and I then maybe the password should go away.

Like I said I trust those on the board and would be interested in people's opinions after reading this post

thanks much

Jason

Hi Jason,

I guess your post raises the question as to how password protection should work?

If it's on the G/L forum, it should (in my opinion) be on other forums as well. So, how would that work? My concern is that others might miss out on important discourses that have relevance to them. I think having individual forums for different needs is a great idea, but I am very interested in what you go through as a medical spouse, and that dialogue might not always take place on the general forum. Because different forums exist, I would sincerely hope that people would respect the focus and integrity of that forum.

About the anonymity issue, you have a valid concern that I hadn't thought about. But do you think that people wanting to remain anonymous would simply choose a different sign-on name, one other than their real name or first name only? Special issues could be dealt with privately between the moderator and an injured party via private email.

Does this make sense?

Janet

Makes complete sense to me, again I think I am having a hard tiem articulating how worried some people are about staying anonyomous. Puttin two and two together. Beleive those that are paranoid about being discovered, which I believe is a valid concern for anyone, will think about those issues.

Again i may be being over protective of others--anyway I was interested in your commentary, and am thankful thatyou are interested in my experiences as a medical spouse.

do others have any commentary--Maybe I am being a bit overzealous--Kris what do you think--maybe we don't need a password at all--if that is the case I need to get with the GLMA--they have the link up and I have approached them about adding the password to that sight so folks know how to get in.

Again Janet thanks for your insightful words

Jason, you make an important point I hadn't thought of, and that is the fear of discovery some may have. So, I really do see both sides of the issue. Perhaps in cases when there are real concerns of discrimination, the needs of the few who may be hurt should outweigh the needs of the many who might not be in that same situation. In other words, a religious forum or a G/L forum should exist for those to whom those issues are most relevant. For the people in a private forum, I think they would speak differently if they knew the forum was not public to anyone. That would make a big difference and could mean a great deal to those in a religious or G/L forum.

So, I think you may have changed my mind Jason. It is not a cut and dried issue, to be sure ...

Janet

[Lisa]

Even if one uses a fabricated user name when posting on a board, it is still very easy (especially for more trusting people) to unwittingly give out personal information during discussion. One can easily find out enough about you over time to put 2 and 2 together. Any family issues, work issues, etc. that are discussed can easily be traced back to an individual by one who may be trying to find out info. on that person. I can recall at least one case on a board where a person using an anonymous name discussed a particular problem she was having with her sister. The sister she was discussing happened upon the board and read all of the things that she said about her that the poster thought her sister would never see! The sister knew who she was simply by knowing about the family issues she was discussing. Consequently, it caused huge problems in this woman's family. In order to be completely anonymous, one would not be able to talk about particular issues in their personal life without fear of someone happening upon the post and reading it. And as Kristen said in an earlier post, these posts remain here indefinitely, so a poster cannot count on their comments being erased in a matter of a short time.

I am not for nor against password-protected forums and Janet has also raised some valid concerns. I am just expressing my understanding of the need for anonymity in certain cases and that using another user name other than your real name, I feel, does not truly give complete anonymity.

After reading all the posts i thought there were good responeses both pro and con.I still think that as far as this board is concerned it should be open to all or it defeats it's purpose.Jason,i also din't think about a gay who mite not want anyone to know who he/she is because of what could happen if the wrong people knew about it.But on the other hand what about the ones who are struggling with that issue??Seeing what the rest of us say to you and how accepting we are could actually encourage them to ask questions and test the water.With the G/L board locked there is no one in it right now but you and that makes it hard to get imput from the rest of us.Being a medical spouse is the issue here...not our sex or religion.When we divide it all up into little groups then i feel the imput may be too much in favor of what the group stands for rather then the subject of being a medical spouse.By narrowing it down like that you don't get the imput of our group as a whole.As far as a religion board too i see no problem with it being open as all of us aren't interested in the same things.I myself wouldn't even click it on as i don't care to talk about that here and wouldn't care what others had to say about the subject.My kids are all grown so i never read or respond to the Children topics.Lots of other topics don't interest me either and i'm sure i'm not the only one like this so why bother to lock up sites no one is interested in anyway??Personally i think thoses groups would get rather boring with only a few using them anyway.I feel if yoy want to talk bout Gays or Religion that there are 1000's of website you can go to for that or even private chats and e-mails.This room is for medical spouses and i think it should be open to all just like it was.

Lynn

I am not concerned about the anonymity aspect of it. I think that people can take on pseudonames if they don't want to be identified and can be careful about identifying info that they give.



I think that my only concern is that individuals who may have strong feelings against the topic of sexual orientation may post derogatory statements....of course, these flames have happened on the parenthood forum as well and we have all survived.



I imagine that a religion forum would blow itself up! (although I am still considering adding it for those who want it). Religion is one of those topics that people can get all fired up about.



I will leave the decision in Jason's hands. He is the moderator of the group. As it stands, password protecting forums does at times lead to a reduced number of people visiting because they must register and in this way lose their anonymity.....



ah, thoughts to chew on.



Kris

let's just forget about the password--the link is on the GLMA sight and Lord knows Kris that took forever--to coordinate getting a password out to everyone who wanted access would be a mountain's worth of coordination.



Let's just scrap the password Kris--thanks for leaving it up to me i will just monitor and if on the off chance we do have a situation like we had earlier this week I will just, oh I don't know, hit someone with my purse