What's wrong with this picture...

I recently heard about a doctor who used to be gay, but now is happily married with his wife and two children. It is possible to that he has become a born-again Christian. Now his past life he was gay, and one of his male patients knew this because he knew him back then. This male patient was coming onto him. The med dr. said "No!" But this patient was very persistent.



Has anyone heard of such a situation? And what are your views about this patient? Professionally, what should this doctor do? Should he see this patient again?



Let me know. Then I'll share my views from a professional stand-point.



Christy

As far as i'm concerned being gay has nothing to do with the question or topic.Doctors know with out a doubt that they aren't allowed to have sexual relationships with a patient!!!Be it a gay or straight person if a doctor had a relationship with that person they could lose their license!!Phill says it also includes a relationship with ALL the members of that family.I personally don't think you'd find many doctors willing to risk their license,career and future for such a thing!!

Lynn

This doctor is NOT having sexual relations whatsoever with this patient. Please reread my post! The patient was coming on to him and so he told him, from what I understand, that he is not interested in this lifestyle now, and there was going to be a problem then he could and would not longer be able to see him as a patient. This doctor is not "taking a risk" as you so suggest. That's not the point. Again, reread and please don't respond if you are going to lecture me. I really am having a bad day and cannot take your attitude today!



Christy

Well, I would tend to agree that it isn't a gay/lesbian issue....things like this have happened to my husband. He is generally able to figure out if it is a transference issue...and if the pt. is really coming onto him then he explains that he thinks it would be better if they saw someone else.



I would say that the physician should not be treating a friend or acquaintance from the past whether they were hitting on him or not...it interferes with objectivity.



my .02

I think Lynn brings up an important point, in that this is a matter of professional conduct, and this physician was acting in an appropriately ethichal manner. This physician was not responding, and I don't think it had much to do with his sexual orientation. The patient was acting inappropriately by pursuing contact with the doc outside of the office, and this would be equally inappropriate if the patient was a woman.



I hope the sun rose on a better day today, Christy. Was there something serious going on yesterday?

I just thought I was a little snappy and since I work hard not to be that kind of person, I wanted to publicly say "sorry".



I thought this was a something I could post here, maybe I should ask it in a different forum. Thanks for all who responded. It truly opened my eyes!!!



Christy

Oh Gees--I really don't even know what to say about all of this--I thought this was going to be a forum for G/L people to discuss issues pertinent to their relationships and the struggles that we face--struggles above and beyond those of heterosexual relationships--I did not think it was going to be someplace where we would be discussing the topic of "reforming homosexuals". Gay and Lesbian people who find this site are going to be looking for individuals who can share experiences with them related to their relationship. We can all learn from each other whether are relationships are gay/lesbian, or heterosexual. Some experiences do indeed overlap as I have learned.



Not that the comment rates any sort of response as I thought we were beyond this, but human sexuality is rarely one way or the other. There are people in this world who have attraction to both sexes equally (granted it is very rare but it does exist) and thereby the doctor mentioned above "did not used to be gay", but was and still is bi-sexual, if he is indeed truly happy and content with his marriage. I respond on the off chance that someone read the first post (after finding this site on the Gay Lesbian Medical Association home page) and continued to read on.



Can't we use this forum for something other then discussing the nuances of "my friend's, sister's, cousin's, hairdresser, knew someone who was this that or the other thing"?



Thanks Christy for your last response, I am not trying to be snappy I just know that I worked very hard to get this site posted on teh GLMA page, and Kris worked hard to develop this forum. We have had discussions that have excalated to a point where people have left the board, and I just wanted to make sure that we don't bring ourselves back to that same point.



why does this issue seem to be such a spark point? I don't know, Kris sorry if I am ranting. I was just hoping that the first thing that someone saw on this forum when they signed on was a story about someone who "used" to be gay. Very annoying to those of us who understand the difference between bi sexuality and homosexuality.

I don't know, Jason...I have thought long and hard on this issue myself. By the way, how did you transfer the posts? That is a good idea...you'll have to tell me how it is done..



I agree that the g/l forum is supposed to be a place for gay and lesbian spouses to come to find support and I have been very, very, very surprised by some of the comments that have come out over the last month. This only makes me feel stronger that a forum like this is needed for gay/lesbian spouses...how do you survive, Jason? It is so difficult to me a medical spouse anyway and it seems that you must face a great deal of predjudice and intolerance from your environment. I think that you are courageous and if there is something that I am doing wrong, please tell me.



That being said, I am truly interested in your experience, Jason. I am not attacking anyone on this board, I am only interested in hearing how Jason is coping with these issues. Please don't respond in anger to me and give Jason the opportunity to express his experiences. Thank you.



Kristen

I moved the posts on the moderator page--it is a drop down



I am the first to say that I defend anyone's right to say what they want. It is by getting things out in the open that people truly learn from one another--I just didn't want that sort opening entry on a page that has been aspoused by the GLMA as a resource for g/l spouses.



I am most excited for individuals to find the site and then to have real dialogue between not only the g/l partners but others that utilize the sight--you all have done so much for me that I would hate for others not to benefit from the wisdom and experience I have found on this board.