L.Jane

[MC Santa]

To the tune of Payphone by Maroon 5

I'm at a loss for trying to buy you
something that's worth a fine memory
Where have the times gone? Baby, it's all wrong
Fucking December already?

Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember
The people we used to be...
It's even harder to picture,
That Sven's here next to me.

You say it's too late to make it,
But is it too late to try?
Champagne and bonbon dreams
All I can do is sigh.

I've driven the bus,
I've rhymed with a fuss
Now I'm paralyzed.
Still stuck in that time
before medicine
Fucked with my life and I realized

I'm on my cell phone trying to load home
All of my rhyming clues for you
Where have the times gone? Baby, it's all wrong
I was on iMSN before you.

If "Happy Ever After" did exist,
I would already be living it
All those stereotypes are full of shit
One more fucking call night, I'll be sick.

[Thirteen]

I'm cracking up, here. 😄
Bravo, secret Santa!!! 👏👏


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[MrsK]

Wow. Take a bow!

[Curegirl]

Wow!!!

[niener]

Clap clap clap clap CLAAAAAP

[WolfpackWife]

[L.Jane]

um.. that was so epic... I have to start with guessing Heidi.

[MCSanta]

To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

It's already over?
She already guessed me?
Caught by my dope rhymes,
No escape from reality.

Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a medspouse, I get no sympathy,
Because I'm running here, running there,
running fucking everywhere,
Anyway the snow blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.

L.Jane, come to Florida,
like you know you want to,
To my commune in the sun.
LJane, and you other peeps,
Why will no one come down and play?

Santas, oooooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
We all know my rhymes better than yours,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.

Too late, my time has come,
I was guessed in no time,
by the epic way I rhyme.
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and do homework.

LJane, ooooooh,
I don't wanna lie,
I sometimes wish I sang every word I said.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Holy fuck, holy fuck, my hubs is finally home now?
hip fractures and knee pain,
Call him back in again.
(Ringing phone) Ringing phone.
(Ringing Phone) Ringing phone,
Ringing Phone Fuck not
Magnifico.

I'm just a medspouse, nobody loves me.
He's a dawkter, people call him constantly
Spare me his ego from this monstrosity.

Never home, always there, will they him go?
Tylenol! No, they will not let him go. (Let him go!)
Dilaudud! They will not let him go. (Let him go!)
Demerol! They will not let him go. (Let him go!)
Will not let him go. (Let him go!)
Never, never let him go
Never let him go, oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, floor nurse, patients (admin, let him go.)
Medicare has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me.

So they think they can rob me and steal my life?
So they think they can own him and leave me to cry?
Oh, baby, can't get used to this, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

(Oh, yeah, oh yeah)

Medicine really sucks,
Anyone can see,
I'm the best at rhyming,
Your Santa is Heidi.

Ortho fucking blows.

[L.Jane]

damn... thats all I can say.. damn. wow.

[Vanquisher]

Thank you! I'll never top my Grinch story though.

[scarlett09]

That was amazeballs.


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[Thirteen]

👏👏👏👏


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[MrsK]

It's a pity she figured it out so soon.

[Vanquisher]

Last night I was talking to Chad and Ryan about Secret Santa, and I read them the Payphone one and the Grinch one I did several years ago. So, Ryan says, "Now do one to Bohemian Rhapsody." Okay. Will do! I think Weird Al and I are cousins.

Maybe I should do a monthly medical spouse life song parody. Anyway, I haven't gotten your gift yet, but I am looking!!

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

Those were awesome!