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The birth order of children

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  • The birth order of children

    Your Clothes:

    1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
    confirms your pregnancy.

    2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

    3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
    __________________________________________________ ___

    Preparing for the Birth:

    1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

    2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

    3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

    __________________________________________________ __

    The Layette:

    1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

    2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

    3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

    __________________________________________________ __

    Worries:

    1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.

    2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

    3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

    __________________________________________________

    Pacifier:

    1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

    2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

    3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

    __________________________________________________

    Diapering:

    1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

    2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

    3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

    __________________________________________________ __

    Activities:

    1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

    2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

    3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

    __________________________________________________ _

    Going Out:

    1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

    2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
    number where you can be reached.

    3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

    __________________________________________________ ___

    At Home:

    1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

    2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

    3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

    -------------------------------------

    Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

    1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

    2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

    3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his
    allowance!

    :>
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

  • #2
    This is so funny.. Feel bad for me..I am a 3rd child

    Comment


    • #3
      So Kris, where does that leave Zoe?

      Comment


      • #4
        If all that cutie pie swallows is a coin, consider yourself lucky!

        and Note To ALL: Goat poop looks like M&Ms. Luckily the near 3yos (mine included) resisted the urge once they understood what it was- not so much for the 1yo.

        Jenn

        Comment


        • #5
          I guess we better not put down in print, what goes on with #s 4 and on, or they might all get taken away from us!

          Thanks for the "oh so true" senerios & chuckle

          Comment


          • #6
            I think i was a second time mom first time round!!1


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