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My heart broke today

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  • My heart broke today

    We go to a toddler indoor play area. Today, my daughter, who just turned 3, was playing with another girl who will be 3 this month and a girl who is 4. I overheard the 4 year old say to the soon-to-be 3 three year that my dd is "not their friend". The 4 year old was trying to get the other girl to go off any play together and leave my dd alone. :sosad:

    I started to walk over to the girls to say something, but the mom of the mean girl heard it by that time and came over to tell her daughter that what she is saying is not nice. The girl said to her mom, "but she is not my friend".

    My dd just sat there and looked at the girl dumbfounded. I don't know if she really understood what was happening. After we got in the car to go home, I asked my dd if she had fun at the gym. She said yes, but that the girl was not her friend. I asked her what she thought about it and she said that it made her sad. I told her that the girl was not very nice. I've been showering my dd with affection- I guess trying to compensate for what happened. Why is this bothering me so much? I know that it will happen. I'm feeling like I want to cry. These girls are too young for this thing to start.
    Wife of Ophthalmologist and Mom to my daughter and two boys.

  • #2
    Big HUGS to you. It starts that young and it is not only limited to girls. At that age DS would get so upset when one of his friends would say that they weren't going to be his friend. I figure all you can do is tell your kids that it's not nice, there are not nice people in this world, and that despite they're being not nice people in this world they still shouldn't say it in return and that sometimes people have a hard time expressing themselves appropriately when they are angry or sad and to try to not take it personal but to learn not to hurt someone by saying the same thing. But maybe I'm crazy. My family makes fun of me for talking to my kids like this. Have always done it and always will. It hurts when your kids hurt and then it hurts even more when you realize that you can't/won't be able to protect them and keep them from never getting hurt. All you can do is tell them you love them and teach them to cope.

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    • #3
      been there with DS and it's totally heartbreaking, and I not DS usually crys or gets close to it... I hate having to deal with these issues, it just kills me

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      • #4
        Thanks for the commiseration. I remember being on the receiving end of these kind of comments as a kid, but I swear it hurts worse to as a parent to observe your child be subjected to it.

        BTW, my dd doesn't seemed phased by this at all.
        Wife of Ophthalmologist and Mom to my daughter and two boys.

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        • #5
          I totally feel your pain. It's so frustrating. I get even more irritated when some little kid is trying to drive a wedge between my boys. I'll hear the neighbor boy saying "YOU'RE my best buddy ... YOU AND I are pals". I always put a stop to it (as does his mom).

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          • #6
            Wow, I am so sorry. I havent had this happen yet but when it does I know it will be so difficult for me.
            Mom to three wild women.

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