lying/fibbing

[rainbabies]

ds, 4 years old has been fibbing lately. if we ask him what happened he will tell me his sisters or dogs did it. i know it was him, and he tells me differently. i have tried explaining to him what fibbing is, that its not right, and to always tell mom and dad the truth.

also, when i ask him to do something, he will tell me its done and its not. something simple like putting his toys in his room. i will look to see if its done and he has just hidden them behind the futon. he will look right at me and say its done.

we're so frustrated with this behavior. has anyone else dealt with this? is this normal?

thanks

normal.

the only thing I've found that helped at all was having actual consequences for doing it. If you lie about having put your toy away properly, then you lose the toy. If you lie about something being someone else's fault, then you get twice the time out you would have gotten.

This is where Santa comes in handy, too, but I know you can't go there.

[rainbabies]

thanks jenn. we do timeouts already...guess i should up the time. i have taken toys away before...i think we should get back to that.

i could use santa, but i dont think it will work as well as it does with your boys

glad its normal.(?)

I can't express this very well but hopefully it makes sense. I do think it is normal. I think your reaction is important so that he feels like he can still tell the truth. I think Jenn's suggestions are good.

I agree with Jenn. It's completely normal. All 3 of mine have gone through this stage. I think it's one way they start to test out their wings and see what they can get away with - especially over something they don't want to do, like put away toys. Whether or not it continues depends on the consequence.

[DCJenn]

We're getting some of that, too- but luckily it's not been anything 'bad' that he's fibbing about- still being addressed but differently.

It's a developmental thing. My friend had the same rule as Jenn, you'll be in trouble for whatever you did but you'll be in much worse trouble if you lie about it.

Jenn

I knew a woman who convinced her child that her fingers smelled a certain way if she lied. Whenever she thought the kid was lying, the mom would say "let me smell your fingers." If she was lying, the kid would hide her hands behind her back. I simultaneously thought that it was a great idea and that it was awful. To each his own.

I suppose it's not much better than me saying "Remember - Mommy always knows when you lie, whether you admit to it or not. And then I have to tell Santa."

[rainbabies]

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl= ... %26hl%3Den

i love molly shannon.

[alison]

It's normal, but wow, I was never let off the hook or told that my fingers smell. It's nothing my parents let slide - we were one step away from being beaten to a pulp when we lied to my parents.

I like to say that I was able to see the reflection on the glass door but...how about you tell me what happened. :>