SAHP spreading yourself out

[Phoebe]

If you are home all day with your kids how much time do you spend playing with them versus doing other things?

I am having a hard time getting anything done or getting anywhere with the three kids. I have several tasks half done which are making me feel overwhelmed because it is all in my face. My kids are 3 and 5 and play pretty well together and alone. However, as they go from one thing to another messes are made and again it is overwhelming to me.

With summer upon us, my kids will be home with me 24/7. I am looking forward to it, but I also feel stressed that I can't complete everything. If I can't do laundry, I don't have any clothes to wear which delays our departure to leave the house and things get hectic and more messes are made. It is all a vicious cycle where I am stressed, period.

How do you structure your day so you can keep your sanity and have fun with the little ones? I am looking for a mother's helper for the summer, but school isn't out yet.

I want to feel more put together and organized!

Jennifer

[Rapunzel]

I don't really play with my children. They play with each other (and, really, if you can't play with your siblings who CAN you play with?) - board games, with toys, running like little maniacs outside.

I use that time when they are preoccupied with one another to get any more difficult tasks accomplished.

With a toddler who wants to hang on my legs all day ( - isn't it lovely when they literally want to sit on your feet with their arms wrapped around your legs?) I often have to wait until naptime or the evening when Daddy is home to do the things that require my complete attention.

For me, work goes on with the kids home (which, with mine is all the time!). And, ideally, the older kids are at least helping me a bit through the day. With younger kids (preschool-age and toddlers) I just grin and bare the messes - knowing that by the age of six or so each child is definitely old enough to clean up a mess with direction.

There have been times when my kids just trash the house - usually when I'm ill for a few days. And, that generally results in all of them getting into a ton of trouble - for not respecting our home OR me! Even a five year old can learn to respect the work Mommy does to keep the house clean. And, a child that age can learn to fold towels, put laundry in the dryer, put pots and pans away, etc. Involving a preschooler in your tasks really preoccupies them. Otherwise, my preschooler's job (the five year old) is usually to attempt to preoccupy my toddler (the almost 2-year-old) when I need to concentrate on something.

[DCJenn]

When we're home and there's stuff that has to be done we usually make a game out of it.

With laundry- I hand him the wet stuff and he throws it in the dryer. I hand him the folded stuff and he puts them in the baskets. He "big" job is putting away the folded kitchen towels.

With the dishes, I have a drawer that has all of his stuff at his height so I hand him his cups, spoons etc and he puts them away while I put everything else away.

Right now we're working on cooking skills (never to early for a kid that's been raised on FoodTV) We're working on using a knife which is WAY fun and requires that toast be made every night- butter, don't ya know. I also have snacks in the refrigerator at his height so he can help himself.

For the big stuff like vacuuming, I tell him to clean up his room because I'll be in there to vacuum and I don't want to suck Thomas or his friends into the vacuum. Now that's a motivator. Nikolai loves to sweep, too so I just hand him the broom and let him have at it.

I find it's easier to incorporate him into the must-do activities because otherwise they don't get done and that adds another layer of stress to my world.

Jenn

When we're home and there's stuff that has to be done we usually make a game out of it.

With laundry- I hand him the wet stuff and he throws it in the dryer. I hand him the folded stuff and he puts them in the baskets. He "big" job is putting away the folded kitchen towels.

With the dishes, I have a drawer that has all of his stuff at his height so I hand him his cups, spoons etc and he puts them away while I put everything else away.

Right now we're working on cooking skills (never to early for a kid that's been raised on FoodTV) We're working on using a knife which is WAY fun and requires that toast be made every night- butter, don't ya know. I also have snacks in the refrigerator at his height so he can help himself.

For the big stuff like vacuuming, I tell him to clean up his room because I'll be in there to vacuum and I don't want to suck Thomas or his friends into the vacuum. Now that's a motivator. Nikolai loves to sweep, too so I just hand him the broom and let him have at it.

I find it's easier to incorporate him into the must-do activities because otherwise they don't get done and that adds another layer of stress to my world.

Jenn

this the way I do it, for the most part. I've also enlisted the boys to put away their own laundry after I've folded it. They get paid a quarter each time they've helped me w/a task to my satisfaction. And they usually enjoy it. Jacob actually emptied the dishwasher the other day. I figured he might as well know where everything goes, even if his father doesn't.

Anna really likes the Swiffer. She likes to be a helper and the Swiffer is an ok weight and size for her and some cleaning even gets done.

[samssugarmomma]

Anna really likes the Swiffer. She likes to be a helper and the Swiffer is an ok weight and size for her and some cleaning even gets done.

Natalie too. And the dustmop! And she has her own dust cloth that she uses to help dust.

[diggitydot]

Our kids have chores which helps a TON. Oldest is 11 and her domain is the kitchen. She does the dishes (consisting of loading/unloading the dishwasher), takes out the garbage/recycling, and wipes down the counters/sweeps if it's needed. (It usually isn't.) This takes all of 15 minutes. Our middle child (age 7) is responsible for picking up her bedroom and picking up the toys/books in the living room. Depending on the day, this can take 10 minutes or 3 hours. Our youngest (5) picks up his toys and puts them away.


My reasons for having the kids do chores are:

1.) Being their mom doesn't equal being their maid. I'd like to enjoy their childhood with them.
2.) I want them to know how to take care of themselves when they're adults and not rely on others. Unlike my husband, who's mother did EVERYTHING for him until he moved out.
3.) It's a great way for them to learn about responsibility and making good choices.
4.) It helps me to be a better mommy because I don't feel as if I'm the only person in the house doing anything to stem the flood of messiness. I avoid feeling unappreciated and overstretched.

[mommax3]

Jennifer,

I remember those days! On the one hand, I was SO happy that they were keeping themselves entertained, but on the other hand......what a mess they had made at the end of a few hours! One thing I did was limit the amount of stuff they could get into, which in turn limited the potential messes. I had a policy that if they wanted a different toy, I would get it for them when the first thing was picked up. I also made it VERY easy for them to clean up by making sure there were bins available for them to just throw stuff into. Another thing that helped was having a schedule for each day, and sharing it with them (or even making a chart) so that they knew what to expect. (Like mid-morning snack AFTER the morning mess was cleaned up, for example.) We would have two days/week where we pretty much stayed home, another day that was "library" day, or "park" day, etc. They knew that in order to do the fun stuff, there was work that I had to get done (like laundry) and consequently, their "work" was to entertain themselves and keep messes at a minimum. We also had special music that I would put on when it was time to clean up (sometimes Bon Jovi, sometimes Sousa marches) and the deal was that we all had to pick stuff up as quickly as possible while the music was playing.

Hopefully, they will be able to spend part of their time outside, too, which limits the mess INside, right? The best thing about our house in San Antonio was the privacy fence around our big backyard. I haven't had that since, and I have missed it. My oldest two boys spent a TON of time out there. I could see/hear them, and they had a wonderful time just messing around. I didn't care if they were covered with dirt when they came in, really, because they were having the time of their lives out there.

That's all I've got!

Sally

[samssugarmomma]

Another thing that helped was having a schedule for each day, and sharing it with them (or even making a chart) so that they knew what to expect. (Like mid-morning snack AFTER the morning mess was cleaned up, for example.) We would have two days/week where we pretty much stayed home, another day that was "library" day, or "park" day, etc. They knew that in order to do the fun stuff, there was work that I had to get done (like laundry) and consequently, their "work" was to entertain themselves and keep messes at a minimum. We also had special music that I would put on when it was time to clean up (sometimes Bon Jovi, sometimes Sousa marches) and the deal was that we all had to pick stuff up as quickly as possible while the music was playing.

When I day dream of what my life will be like as a SAHM, it involves a schedule like this. I'm glad to hear that it worked from someone!

[Phoebe]

Another thing that helped was having a schedule for each day, and sharing it with them (or even making a chart) so that they knew what to expect. (Like mid-morning snack AFTER the morning mess was cleaned up, for example.) We would have two days/week where we pretty much stayed home, another day that was "library" day, or "park" day, etc. They knew that in order to do the fun stuff, there was work that I had to get done (like laundry) and consequently, their "work" was to entertain themselves and keep messes at a minimum. We also had special music that I would put on when it was time to clean up (sometimes Bon Jovi, sometimes Sousa marches) and the deal was that we all had to pick stuff up as quickly as possible while the music was playing.

When I day dream of what my life will be like as a SAHM, it involves a schedule like this. I'm glad to hear that it worked from someone!

I only wish I could pull this off. I think if I planned and organized more in advance things would run smoothly. I am also trying to fit in work outs 3 to 4 days a week which takes two hours because of the 20 minute drive each way. That combined with DD#3's naps it really chops up our day.

I am going to include the kids in more chore-type stuff. Yesterday I had them help me with bedsheet changes and they did, but ended up building a pillow and blanket mountain and jumping off my bed into it. I wasn't complaining because they were so occupied with that that I was able to eat lunch uninterrupted. I also got both of them to get dressed and make their beds before coming downstairs this morning.

Thanks for the responses.