Calling all moms...

I have a friend who will be having a baby in November and she is overwhelmed and in desperate need of advice. She is looking for some direction as to what is a must have and what you really don't need.

Thanks!!!

[Meenah]

Absolute Must haves: Breast milk or formula (her choice, ignore all of the free advice she will get about what she SHOULD do), diapers, a safe place to sleep, and a safe car seat. Anything else is a plus!!!!

When I registered at Babies R Us, they gave me a checklist of things I should have (and how many of each). I used it as a guide.

Here's a list off the top of my head:
Baby bottles (even if she nurses, just in case she has to supplement with formula)--4 oz bottles to start with
Pacifiers (IMO)
Burp clothes
Baby T-shirts (I liked the ones that buttoned for the first couple of weeks)
Baby blankets (I liked the flannel ones to swaddle with)
Sleeper Sacks (I loved these for the first couple months...I liked the ones that had a zipper and no sleeves--I would put DS in a t-shirt and then zip him up in that to sleep in)
Infant car seat

The list really could go on and on, but it completely depends on her situation. A lot of the things I thought I HAD to have with DS, I probably won't even bother using with our next baby.

[DCJenn]

Secondarily to those Must Haves:

The book Baby Bargains- walks you through all of the other stuff that the manufacturers make guilt-ridden parents and expectant parents think that they need.

For example, the top crib in terms of safety according to both consumer reports and Babybargains is $175 through Babies r Us. OR they can spend hundreds of dollars or even thousands of dollars on a bed they will use for 1/40th of their life. It makes those decisions that can parilyze the indecisive much, much easier.

Jenn

Also suggest that she try to borrow those things that some babies end up not liking: a swing, a bouncy seat - that kind of stuff. No need to shell out the $ until you know the kid will use it. Suggest craigslist as a resource for those types of things as well.

[DCJenn]

and she doesn't need it all AT ONCE. Although baby showers are great for getting the stuff you want/need, sometimes you end up with stuff you're not going to be able to use for quite a while- like highchairs. If this person is a medical spouse (or anyone) facing a move, make sure they factor that in.

Jenn

What I've done is gone by my hospital list and then to have a cot/crib at home and then see afterwards as everything else is an extra rather than essential and depends on mom and baby.
This is my hospital list (bare in mind we spend 3 days in hospital and someone else made it out for me)

Labour Bag:
• Nighties & Socks
• Hair bobbins & brush
• Toothpaste & Toothbrush, Facial wipes, Moisturiser
• Glucose Sweeties
• Nursing Bra
• Maternity pads
• Dressing Gown & Slippers
• Dark Towel
• Coins for vending machines
• Clothes for baby (Nappy, Vest, Sleepsuit, Hat )
• Mist Spray

Hubby:
• Change of top
• Camera
• Mobile phone (off!), phone numbers
• Change for car-park

Baby Bag:
• 5 Babygros/Sleepsuits
• 5 Vests
• Bibs
• Cardigan
• Scratch mitts & Socks & Hat
• Blanket & Muslin squares
• Cotton Wool
• Baby Towel
• Nappies (newborn sposies)

Stuff:
• Big knickers
• Maternity Sanitary towels
• Breast pads
• Nursing bras
• Front opening nighties
• Toiletries (shampoo, facial wipes, and roll on deodorant, basic make-up)
• Dark towels
• Phone Charger
• Phone credit voucher
• Lansinoh cream if plannig on breastfeeding
• Soother if planning on using one


Coming Home:
• Loose Jeans
• Top
• Boots & Socks
• Baby Car Seat
• Outfit, Vest, Snugglesuit & Hat

[madeintaiwan]

Also suggest that she try to borrow those things that some babies end up not liking: a swing, a bouncy seat - that kind of stuff. No need to shell out the $ until you know the kid will use it. Suggest craigslist as a resource for those types of things as well.

ITA with this. With DD we borrowed our friends exersaucer and jumperoo. My kids can't live without a swing. We love the Fisherprice Nature's Touch Papasan swing. It is pricey, so I would see if you could borrow one first. But we LOVE this swing. And I have yet to meet a baby that we recommend this swing to that doesn't like it. I am sure there are some out there. Also, a must have for us was one of those rocker chairs. We have the combi activity rocker. We had DD in Dec and she lived in her bjorn during those cold months. I would recommend some sort of carrier.

Also, newborns don't need all that fancy clothes. If it is cold where they are invest in sleepers (and onsies) and a couple of cute outfits for outings/holidays. Lots of burp cloths and I use bibs too. I have a blanket fetish but I wouldn't recommend going out and buying a ton. I have received tons of blankets as gifts.

[SuzySunshine]

I second and third and fourth the Baby Bargains book, one of my friends told me I didn't need it - that I could find all that info on the net but I'm so glad I got it. I rates everything and then tells you plain and simple at the end of each chapter what you reall need or don't and how to save money getting it.

I started our registry last night and put several things on it that we could probably borrow but I figure if someone wants to buy it for us, why not? I'll probably borrow more stuff that we don't get.

I also have a list that one of my girlfriends put together a few years ago when she was pg with her first based on recommendations from her friends, I'll see if I can find it and post the important things when I get home.

[ud_grad]

I definitely agree with the Baby Bargains book. We used that, plus reviews on Amazon and Babies R Us, plus friend recommendations, and recommendations from the Parenting board on TheNest.com.

Here is a list I made for a friend when she didn't have the time to research and just wanted me to make her a list.

Things you “need” – Highly subjective of course:

 Carseat (Graco Snugride, varying price points, safest on the market - found anywhere)
 Pack N Play (we have Graco - you want the bassinet feature if your little one is going to be sleeping in it at night in the beginning)
 Playmat (pricey, but I highly recommend the Fisher Price Rainforest mat you can hook other toys onto it and it keeps Jaime occupied for a long time) - http://tinyurl.com/2dumwf
 Gerber cloth diapers (6 to a pack for burp cloths, the ones that are 12 to a pack are too thin and do nothing) http://tinyurl.com/29274q
 Stroller or Snap-N-Go
 Boppy
 Bouncy Seat
 Swing
 Bottles - we have Avent and Playtex wide mouth.
 Paci's and a paci clip - hospital will give you some and we use Gerber Nuks
 Bibs - we use the 10 pack found at Babies R Us
 Diapers/Wipes - we use Pampers Swaddlers and Pampers Sensitive wipes
 Onsies and sleeping gowns - (don't register for clothes though, they are impossible to find as BRU lists the SKU number and you have to try to match tags to the number)
 Johnson's Head to Toe Body Wash
 Lotion - Johnson's, Aveeno, etc.
 Bath sponge - big bear shaped sponge/pad for sponge bathing baby (3.99 at BRU). I also use it now in the big tub
 Washcloths - Carter's makes a 6 pack that is sufficient for us.
 Bath towel - we only use one hooded towel
 Little things - Baby Q-Tips, Nail clippers, Infant Tylenol, hair brush
 Diaper bag - we have the 17.99 Eddie Bauer tote from BRU
 Baby carrier! - http://www.thebabywearer.com
 Diaper Valet – Love this for when we are out and about. Makes switching diaper bags easy too. http://www.diapervalet.com
 Formula dispenser for diaper bag if you want to give formula bottles occasionally
 Bottle brush - we LOVE the one at BRU made with the silicone nubs
 All Free and Clear (or any 'free and clear')
 SwaddleMe Blankets!!!! (two Small sizes are good, you may want a Preemie one for the first month - Jaime sleeps in these every night but she uses the Large size now)
 Some waterproof pads
 Carter's 'Kick Proof' socks (I found them at TJMaxx and BJs)

Fun things that you don't 'need':

 Crib Mobile
 Crib toy - http://tinyurl.com/22bl95
 Bumbo seat
 All other toys/games/etc
 Fisher-Price Learning Puppy
 Portable High Chair http://tinyurl.com/2xsddq

Things to register for but you won't need until later:

 High Chair
 Heavy Bundle Me for fall/winter ($40 at BRU)
 Lightweight stroller (we still don't have one yet)
 Vaporizer/Humidifier
 Ultimate Crib Sheet ($17 at BRU but when they are bigger and get sick/have blowouts in the crib in the middle of the night this is a life saver)
 Teether links (for more than teething! We use these to connect toys to the car seat, swing, playmat, baby carrier, diaper bag, etc. You can make a chain of them and Jaime just plays with that too!) http://tinyurl.com/2d9nu5

Things we don't have and don't miss:

 Dreft detergent
 Bottle Sterilizer (we have it, don't use it)
 Wipes Warmer
 Bottle Warmer

[GrayMatterWife]

Things we don't have and don't miss:

 Dreft detergent
 Bottle Sterilizer (we have it, don't use it)
 Wipes Warmer
 Bottle Warmer

AMEN to this. Didn't need any of these things. The amount of CRAP the stores try to convince you to buy is unbelievable.

My general advice: BUY AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE on the front-end, then buy later as you realize what you need. If you've got diapers, jammies, a pacifier, a bottle, and clean sheets, you'll make it.

[DCJenn]

and all new parents will be freaks about germs. Its ok. Eventually they'll find their comfort zone. (mine is removing any obvious globs of some other kids ick and when I remember to bring wipes, I will wipe off a restaurant table and high chair. But I usually don't remember.)

of course, my child crawled on the floor of the Moscow airport and lived to tell about it so I'm a little skewed. (We had a 4 hour wait)

Jenn

[SuzySunshine]

The most recent baby bargains book I have actually says not to buy the warmer because of damage to the changing table and/or child.

Can I just tell you how much I love that book?

[Sheherezade]

I was a minimalist with our babies. We only had the bare essentials and baby slept with us.....but I did find that we needed something to hold the baby safely when I needed two hands. A sling, a swing, a playpen.....something. I'd add that to Luanne's bare essentials. Baby monitor is also great for freedom without as much worry. Save the stroller purchase until you figure out what you'd use most. Strollers are so specialized - and pricey - you should get the one that works for your lifestyle.

[PrincessFiona]

I was a minimalist with our babies. We only had the bare essentials and baby slept with us.....but I did find that we needed something to hold the baby safely when I needed two hands. A sling, a swing, a playpen.....something. I'd add that to Luanne's bare essentials. Baby monitor is also great for freedom without as much worry. Save the stroller purchase until you figure out what you'd use most. Strollers are so specialized - and pricey - you should get the one that works for your lifestyle.

We were too....I guess we still are....

I'd recommend that your friend vist a Once Upon A Child store too......