Potty Training again

[DCJenn]

OK all of you BTDT parents-

Something freaks Nikolai out about pooping in the potty. That much I know. So, what (if anything) do I do about it?

We tried sitting on the potty until "it" happened but once he felt it start he TOTALLY freaked out and I'm not sure that Bungie cords would have kept him on the seat. He did the whole "straight man" routine- you know when the straighten out and nothing short of breaking their bones would get them to bend? yeah, that. While screaming "I can't. I can't". Finally after about 10 minutes of this- I decided that warping his little mind wasn't worth it so I put him in the pull-up and BAM- poop. and then I put him back in his Diego drawers and an hour later BAM- poop in the undies.

(and he totally doesn't care if he poops in his undies, in a diaper, in a pull-up.)

My next thing is to try Naked Baby Boot Camp again and see if that makes a difference. He's so OCD that I think he'd probably constpate himself rather than poop on the floor and he's so stubborn that I'm sure he won't poop on the potty just because he's naked.

Obviously we have a long road ahead- so WWYD? Address the fear thing- talk about it but not do the potty routine? My mom thinks he's holding it all day at school because he won't go in his undies at school- nor will he poop in front of the other kids. He does typically go within 10 minutes of getting home.

Suggestions?

Jenn

[GrayMatterWife]

I've commented before on my DS's complete lack of interest in potty training.

Despondent and beaten, I've completely lost all hope of ever getting him potty trained. We don't even work on it anymore. He just tells me he doesn't want to. And, honestly, it's been so miserable that I don't want to, either. So we don't.

He doesn't seem to be afraid of doing it, though. Just uninterested.

Wish I could be of help!

I second Laura's suggestion.

Anna is exceedingly particular and has a favorite toilet. Better than the grass. Anyway, it is getting better and I'm sure that by the time she goes to college, she will have outgrown it.

[mommax3]

It does suck. The only thing I am truly glad about in regards to my kids getting older is that I will never again have to potty train anyone.

Is he ever in the bathroom when you go? I have waved bye-bye to my own poop too many times to count. Maybe it would alleviate some of the fear he has if he realizes everyone does it?

Please take comfort in the fact that DS#3 was *3 yrs. 10 months* when he decided to poop in the potty, mostly because his brothers were going to summer care (with really cool field trips and fun stuff like water day) and he could not go because he wasn't potty trained. When they get that old (and all of mine were well over three when they finally got with the program, although #3 was the latest) they have to want something else MORE than they want to keep their poop to themselves. Finding the magic bullet is the challenge.

One other thing....does he have any older friends (like 4 year olds) that he admires? Sometimes that can do wonders, as well. I remember mentioning to my boys that so-and-so (their slightly older friend) pooped in the potty, like YOU will when you are a big boy, in a voice that showed I was totally confident that it would one day happen, even though I was starting to doubt it. I was also not above mentioning that younger children and babies that we knew had to have their moms change their poopy diapers because they were too little to understand how to go potty.

#3 would sit on the potty all day now if I would let him. He sings, talks to himself about his day, and has a great time in there. It will happen for the other late-bloomers around here, too. Hang in there.

Sally

[Momo]

Jenn...how old was he when you adopted him??
I am curious, what if anything they may have done in the orphanages, when it came to potty training?
I know for a fact that there are other cultures that have some warped ways of training even the littlest of kids(babies) to potty train.
Is there any chance he could have been subjected to anything that could have terrified him??
I was completely mortified when I heard that in some Arab countries, that they begin potty training around 1 yr old, and that they light a match , blow it out and touch the baby's behind w/ it when they have accidents!!!! talk about whacked out.
I have also seen where in some orphanages they strap them to potty chairs for extended lengths of time.
I pray your little dude never faced anything like what I just mentioned, but you don't always know what they have experienced before you enter the picture... :huh:

A couple thoughts (all of which you've probably tried):

Once Upon a Potty ... my kids liked the "and sat and sat and sat and sat"

My kids also loved flushing, so I came up with the rule that they could only flush what they'd put in there, which gave them incentive to actually use the toilet.

Is he any less afraid of pooping in the little potty? Perhaps he feels there's too much air between his bum and where the poop is supposed to land.

Good luck!

[Phoebe]

I like Laura's idea. I just kept telling myself, they won't be graduated from high school in diapers. Both of my kids were over 3 before they were potty trained. DD#2 was 3.5 before she would sleep without a diaper or pull-up.

Wish I had good advice.

[pstone]

We are also in the complete disinterest, nothing...does not care...bribery has no effect, nothing works...

"I am not a big boy"
"no"

:huh:

[DCJenn]

We've done the flushing thing- no biggie.

The issue seems to be abject terror. I think he actually might be one that does go to college in pull-ups.

Suzanne (pinkpickles) and I were talking last night and I think she does raise some important questions- I know that they had started them 'training' immediately after meals- as soon as they're able to sit up they're on regular foods and the second that they're done they plop them on the potty. and if they were anything like the potty we had to use- they're cold unpleasant places. Maybe it is some residual memory from Russia.

I'm certainly not going to push it at the moment. Maybe once he goes to the new school in August where he'll be around other (older) kids, he'll get it.

Jenn

[peggyfromwastate]

I feel your pain, Jenn. We have the same issues of terror- just for #2 thank goodness. Now he'll go #1 with regularity.

I'm just going. to. wait...

It sucks.