it's 90 degrees--- GET WET already!

[Phoebe]

That is crazy! I am usually the one inthe water with all the kids climbing on me.

[Sheherezade]

Same here. The funny thing is all the other moms I know - sitting on the side reading magazines - come over and say "You are such a good mom!" . Then, they return to their magazine or cell phone. I've done that too when I've been really wiped out. Of course, my kids are older and good swimmers. I just don't get totally ignoring the kids regularly. If you've got a two year old, I don't think you should be allowed to put them in the water without getting in. That surprises me. I don't usually see the ignore factor kick in here until the kids are around 4 or 5. Still dangerous, but not as obviously insane.

Keep on it Flynn. You are a good neighbor.

I feel like I have to issue a disclaimer: I did defer my daughter's pleas for pushes in the swing today. I was desperate for some adult interaction. And she got lots of pushing and under-dogs a few days prior.

I just think that water brings in an safety factor that can't be overlooked. I'm with Kelly, I'm freaky about water.

Oh -- on my laudry list of water scares, I forgot about the one last week. A 4 or so year old who got herself into the deep-end (8') or so on one of those floating rod deals. She just likes to follow her sister around.... . It's a 25 foot pool. Her mom was at the diagonal corner, back turned, chatting. One of the swim instructors did a Baywatch run down the pool deck to jump in and get her. Scared the daylights out of me. Serious *shudder*.

[PrincessFiona]

Confession: Last summer when Aidan was 2 1/2 we went to Warrens and I let him play in the kiddie pool and even go down the kiddie water slides while I watched, took pictures and sat on the sidelines....and some people were really floored.

1. He looks a lot younger than he is (he still isn't on the growth chart)
2. He is very agile and steady in the water. I would never have let him jump around without me there if the water had been any deeper or if he wasn't as comfortable as he was....and....I was watching him the entire time (not reading or talking on the cell phone). But...I have no doubt that the people that we were vacationing with were.....surprised.

That being said, when we were at a country club a few weeks ago, the kiddie pool was a little bit deeper than I'm used to. I wasn't wearing my bathing suit, but I walked through the water (in capri pants...I know, I know...not very country club chic) in order to help both Zoe and Aidan and make sure that they were safe. It was obvious to me that the water was just a bit too deep for them to move comfortably.

Nellie - there is no doubt in my mind that your kids get plenty of attention!

On the side, when did your kids learn how to swim? DD1 is now 4 and has not taken any swim lessons yet. We have either been in the middle of moving or something like that for the last 2 summers and it never worked out. I just checked at the community center here and all of the classes are finished except for a one-week mini swim camp. I *definitely* want them to learn how to swim and don't know if I should enroll her in some private class at the Y at this point.

I just didn't want to give the impression that I am always doting on my kids or that I think everyone should be. Because I'm not.

Define "swim"...I think that can vary for age and what people consider swimming.

My 7 year old can swim a 25 yard lap without stopping and knows all the strokes. She usually swims at least 500 yards in a lesson. I would say that she would swim a reasonable distance around 5 -- that she could swim from the middle of the pool to the edge if she needed to.

My 3 1/2 year old can almost swim 15 feet but I have to be right by her because she can't tread water to stop and take a breath. She can almost do a backfloat by her self and is learning to rotate front to back. She has been in lessons since she was about a year old. I feel like she orient herself to the top of the water and locate the edge and swim 5 feet to there and stay calm. So, if she got a wild hair to jump in water deeper than she can stand, she could probably get out even though I would be jumping in to get her or using a noodle for her to grab onto and pull her out.

I started DD2 in the immersion type lessons where kids go under water at every lesson. It is more aggressive than the Red Cross style taught at the community center. She never seemed to mind but some kids do so it doesn't always work. Those lessons tend to be more $$, good thing for grandparents. I would suggest looking for a class that teaches kids to roll from a back float to a front stroke and then to the back. That is a good safety technique and better than treading water (expends less energy) if they are stuck in deep water. I think the Red Cross has updated their swimming program to include that.

[Sheherezade]

I think when a kid learns to swim is an interesting point. I grew up in Florida with a pool in the back yard. I was swimming at 2.5 -- and so were both my brothers. My family has no concept of five year olds that can't swim. (Well, they do but it's a foreign concept.) Here, the town has a huge swimming program via the rec center. Virtually everyone participates and swim "teams" start at 5. Most kids here are doing strokes/laps in lessons at 7. Our rec has 2 small pools, limited membership and tons of attentive, verbal lifeguards. I have never seen a water safety issue occur here. (Kudos Chagrin.) Also, all the rec and club pools in this area make kids pass a swim test before they are allowed to advance to a new pool with higher dangers. It's a good system that eliminates SOME dangers so I guess having a mom on the edge of the pool or nearby with a 6 year old in 4 feet of water that's had 4 years of swim lessons isn't so bad.

That said, I think that kids in areas that have serious winters or pool "seasons" that are limited do not learn to swim as quickly or as well as kids in warmer pool friendly climates. I know my kids were behind their FL cousins in swimming skills for years before catching up with age. (Boston wasn't that great for rec swimming....but they did start lessons at 2).

I don't expect my kids to swim on a team, but I did make them take regular lessons until they could cross the pool repeatedly, float, tread water and swim for fun under water. I think they both got there around 5-6 and started lesson sessions via Red Cross YMCA programs around 2-3. That said, my nieces and nephews (with the backyard pools and the year round access) were total fish at the age of 3. Maybe that's more risky. I know I'm always on guard with them in the water even though they are good......they are still so little.

My big water anxiety is rough play. We were never allowed to do it in our home pool....and I go a little bonkers when I watch the 8-10 year olds hold each other under water for "fun". That's the only thing I've talked to the lifeguards here about. So easy for that to go terribly wrong when they are just "playing". Kids.

Apparently she wandered off unnoticed and when my SIL realized she was gone, Molly had gotten in the pool and was laying on facedown. Pam ofcourse ran in and pulled her out, but wasn't sure how long she had been in there. She vomited water and stomach contents immediately after she came out. So SIL took her to a MD, she had her pulse ox measured and a chest x-ray which were all fine

Oh @*&(*&@*(&*@*(&@(&!!! OMG! I am so glad that she is OK!

Do you think my kids would be OK if they never go to a pool, ever? I'm kidding. Kind of.

This is one of the many reasons I shudder at the thought of letting anyone else take my kids to the pool.

I've had them in swimming lessons since age 3, and they do reasonably well. I do let them in our (realtively small) neighborhood pool and don't always get in, but I'm always there and they have strict rules about how deep they're allowed to go, and what kind of play is allowed. I have a zero tolerance policy for roughhousing or rule-breaking (going to deep) in the water and will yank them out at the first sign of an infraction. We have had many, many talks about water safety, and our swimming lessons will continue.

Along the lines of what Laura said: my friend's cousin had a child DIE in a similar situation. Her IL's were watching her son on the day she was in the hospital giving birth to her second child. They took the little boy to their yacht club, and b/c his sweater (that they'd bought him) was so cute, they didn't want to make him wear a life jacket. They turned to talk to some friends, and when they turned back, he was face down in the water. He was never revived.

Water safety is paramount. I understand the desire to keep them away from water forever, but I think parents who openly display a fear of water (not saying that is what anyone here does) do their children nearly as much of a disservice as those who are too cavilier about it. If kids are afraid of water -- either b/c their parents are as well, or b/c their parents don't continue to address the issue, they'll never be properly equipt to handle themselves in a scary situation.

[Phoebe]

I am fearful, too. I don't let my kids swim unless I am there. It ticks ILs off, but I don't care. On vacation, MIL wanted to take my daughters to the pool and I wouldn't allow it because she can barely walk, let alone swim.

DD#2 wears a lifevest in the pool because she wants to be able to keep up with her sister who is a decent swimmer. We also have kids in lessons and have her swim w/o the vest quite a bit, too. However, it does give false security because she jumped in once without it while we were packing up our stuff and my back was turned. Luckily, I was standing poolside and just grabbed her out. If I am not in the water, I don't allow my kids in the deep end of the pool.