Little girls growing up too soon.

My FIVE YEAR OLD HOMESCHOOLED DAUGHTER has been begging me for MONTHS to wear makeup.

I think part of this could be a compliment to be like you. If she sees you put on make-up, she wants to do what you do -- that sort of thing.

But, yeah, also probably because it is hard to escape the bombardment of poptart images.

I saw Little Miss Sunshine again a few weeks ago. Those made up kids at the pagaent were scary. Kids shouldn't ever look like that.

[Sheherezade]

My daughter has worn makeup for her ballet recital and her theatre camp. I think that will give her enough "make up time". As far as I'm concerned, it'sso they can be seen under the lights, and there isn't any point in wearing it in real life.

She hasn't shown an interest in it beyond the backstage makeup stuff that goes on. Maybe it is because I don't wear it much? (Now I have a reason to be slovenly. :> I'm protecting my daughter! )

She does have unusually hairy legs though....and I've already started wondering how to handle that and WHEN to handle that. I don't want her to suffer any teasing, but I don't want to make her paranoid too early. I'm thinking I'll introduce hair removal around 5th grade when the health class stuff kicks in. I've already gotten some Nair----because she cut herself in the shower with my razor. Of course, she insists she was "just looking at it!" I think she may already be worried about her legs. Poor kid. She's got her dad's Italian genes. Great on the head...but not so much on the legs.

(Now I have a reason to be slovenly. :> I'm protecting my daughter! )

My kids show some interest in make-up when I'm getting ready. Sometimes I'll give them a poof of powder on the nose when I'm getting ready but it's after I use it and I think they mostly like the tickly brush. I think my mom let me start wearing a little makeup (no mascara or eyeliner) around 12 and that sounds pretty reasonable to me.

I hear you about the hairy legs. I hail from hairy stock and I wonder if my kids will get the same. 5th grade might be a while to wait -- I have the same concerns. We'll see.

[madeintaiwan]

I just got back from Target and there was a girl who looked no older than 12 wearing black mini heels and a short short white skirt with a white midriff shirt. I am almost certain she was wearing make-up. It was such a sad sight. Her mother didn't even look that gussy uped.

DH has two cousins from different uncles that are 10 and 11 and his uncles are totally different people from two different worlds. It is interesting to see that the 11 yr who comes from a very athletic/active family (she also has two older brothers who still live with her) is what I view as a very normal 11 yr old. Loves soccer, biking, and skiing. Dresses normal (nothing trendy or revealing) and is just so sweet. She is very intelligent but she still talks like an 11 yr old. Where the 10 yr old (her two sibblings are my age) is already crazy about boys, dresses in the latest trends, wears make up, worries about being fat (her mother actually told her she needed to diet!! she is no where near fat but we can tell she's going to inherit the family hips, thighs, and chest. all the women on dh maternal side have boobs, hips, thighs, but tiny waists, they're still size 4 but with a lot of work). And she talks like a little adult and carries around little purses and primps herself. It's really sad to see the differences between the two girls.

I never had a desire to wear make up and I still don't. My mother was always well put together but not over the top, well neverr slutty. She dressed me fashionably but I was never allowed to wear revealing clothing. Even in HS I had to always wear a shirt over my tank tops with exception to my cheerleading uniform and ballet recitals. If Ai-Lan is going to wear make up she's going to have to sneak it from somewhere and never let us see because her daddy doesn't care for make up at all. If we move back to CA she'll be in private HS anyhow so I'll only have to worry about weekend wear.

That is so funny because my mom classified mascara and eyeliner as the "hard" stuff. Maybe it was because of the electric blue? I do remember that. And I remember a friend in college who still wore it well into the 90s. Oh -- my aunt used to wear it too. It wouldn't be a good fit for my coloring which must have freed me up for other fashion sins. My hair wouldn't really crimp either. Thank gawd.

[PrincessFiona]

All I can say is hugs to all moms of girls....society makes it very difficult to raise them and feel good about it. We have effectually gotten rid of a large portion of our tv viewing in our home and only watch DVDs of things like Full House and Tool Time, etc...with no commercials....and appropriate language etc.

The problem is that the friends around us/other parents don't necessarily share those ideals. I remember a debate awhile back about the Bratz....but....they are no different to me than the video games. At some level, culturally we have to make a decision...denying my daughter some of these things puts her at a social disadvantage. Girls her age just aren't playing with....cabbage patch dolls anymore.

Is homeschooling the best option? I'll share openly, Jenn, that I don't know. At some point, my children will be exposed to this generation of kids...it is inevitable....I don't know that it will help them to keep them from experiencing certain things...though it might....I just don't know.

We have a strict rule about ear piercing. My daughters must be 12....I see pierced ears as kind of the step into....womanhood....stupid as it may sound...and there will be no pierced ears until then. She may wear lip gloss to school and finally caved and bought mascara ONLY because she was dipping into the little community mascara that all of her girlfriends shared and I didn't want her sharing pink eye. I don't approve of it...and heck...I don't even....wear make-up but I don't want her coming home with a communicable eye disease either.

kris

[DCJenn]

Definitely, hat's off to you moms of girls.

and just FYI- I'm going to reiterate the mantra about girls who respect themselves being the kind you want to date. Which by the time he's 16 may be "mentally" true but we'll be battling those teenaged boy urges, too.

I'll just stick condoms in his Christmas stocking...and Easter basket, and Birthday gifts, and Gotcha Day gifts and for our anniversary, and our birthdays and basically in his lunch every day and I'll throw them in the glove compartment of all vehicles.

and if they don't have the sociology class in high school that requires carrying around the 5 pound bag of flour for a week and going to the grocery store and calculating how much feeding and diapering a family costs, we will implement it at home.

There is only one thing worse that Baby Ho- it's obese Baby Ho. It's an unfortunate subset here in San Antonio.

Jenn

[Rapunzel]

Oh yeah, obese BabyHo. Know that one! I need a shuddering emoticon.

I think the five year old does get her desire for makeup from watching me wear it but my daughters don't live in a cave - they are around other little girls all of the time (and, usually those girls aren't homeschooled). They've been babysat by plenty of teenage girls wearing makeup as well. Plus, when you add in all of their aunts as well as both grandmothers....

I honestly look at my daughters and think, "They are so much more beautiful than I was at that age". And, I cannot fathom them needing makeup. But, I know from experience that my splotchy skin, short blonde eyelashes, thin lips, etc. really DO benefit from a bit of "enhancement". They have their dad's natural ability to tan simply by walking outside, his long, thick, dark eyelashes, his very poofy lips (seriously - think Angelina Jolie poofy), etc. In my opinion makeup can only detract from those positive physical characteristics.

I'm curious to know what Sally's sons think of girls their age who dress the way we are discussing and wear makeup at very early ages. Just wondering....

[DCJenn]

You know- seriously, there are so few people who do it well enough at that age that it actually makes them look better. (and really, there are so few people at any age...I always want to take akleenex and blend those foundation lines I see...)

My cousin Kerry is a gorgeous tall blonde (um shot-putter) so she has serious arms and shoulders and when she's going someplace you can bet she's all dolled up and wearing pink. But having spent her entire high school career battling the lesbian track star thing, she's entitled.

(and really, can we do something about the automatic assumption that girls with muscles are lesbians? I mean MOST importantly, even if she were, it's no ones business but hers!!!)

Jenn

[mommax3]

In answer to your question TR, I don't think my boys have noticed much of anything yet. My oldest has no girls in his class at school (just the way it worked out, but I am NOT complaining!) and our church is very small and the teenage girls are quite a bit older than him.....I am sure he considers them grown-ups. My middle son is just entering 4th grade and boy-girl stuff is way over his head right now. I have always tried to point out to them that the stuff on the inside of a person is what is important, and that even the prettiest girls get old, etc. and beauty fades. I hope they are listening, but it is normal to be attracted to physical beauty, and I am sure it will become more of an issue in our house as time goes by.

But honestly, I don't think my boys are that abnormal, which points out the fact that girls who dress this way are GOING to attract older boys.

Sally

[peggyfromwastate]

I missed this thread earlier!

DD doesn't wear makeup, b/c she only has "dress up" and "play" makeup which, thru experimenting, she has learned takes a long time to put on, and the result is that she looks like a clown. Then washing it off is a pain, too. She doesn't wear midriff shirts because....

THEY AREN'T IN STYLE ANYMORE!!!! Hallelujua!!!

I swear the fashion is trending back to the ugly 80s, but I'll take polka-dots and wierd layering over baring all any day.

I do "ban" her from wearing certain things, but I'm fully aware that she can bring her choicest clothes with her and change in the girl's room. And if she doesn't own any choice clothes, she can borrow.

I am lucky for now because she is very body-conscious and covers up. She wears layers a lot, and likes tanks, but only around the house. It's hard to get her out of her huge XL sweatshirts! I love it! And when we go shopping in the juniors' section (she's right in between juniors' and girls') I tell her straight up: these outfits are for sluts.

And I've also told her that there is scientific, neurological data that boys (after hitting puberty) think of sex once in every 7 seconds. These things gross her out but I think they stick, somewhere in there.

I also read "the Wonder of Girls" just recently, and it was... illuminating.

[diggitydot]

So far, our girls are pretty good about determining what is appropriate to wear and what isn't. They just don't understand why some girls their age or even a little older go for the hoochie-mama look. (And I'm SOOOO hoping they never understand it!)

Our oldest is funny about it, too. She was clothes shopping with my mom a couple years ago when my mom suggested a certain outfit. DD#1 looked at her with a deadpan expression and said, "Um, I think Dad's head would explode if I wore that, Gradmama." (DH does not like that the girls are growing up. He practically came unglued when I told him it was time for training bras for DD#1.)



I really think little girls should be allowed to look like little girls and not be hyper-sexualized at young ages. Our rules are pretty basic, I think. Skirts/skirts can be no shorter than a couple inches above the knee, shirts cannot be low cut, tight, or short enough to show their bellies when they lift their arms over their heads. I don't mind tank-tops so long as they fit into that criteria, too. (It's AZ, if they didn't wear tank-tops occasionally, they'd just be too darn warm.) Pants are full-coverage. I don't want to see any baby buttcrack. I don't think those rules are either overly restrictive or unreasonable.

As for make-up, DD#2 asks about it more than DD#1 ever has. They're almost 12 and 8. No, neither of them are allowed to wear make-up, but I have, on occasion, allowed them to wear some of my tinted lip balm/gloss. They both have gorgeous skin that doesn't require any hiding so I see no reason to begin mucking around with it already. Let 'em enjoy the good skin as along as it lasts!

[houseelf]

I foolishly hope that I can dress DD in gymboree forever. I love their peter pan collars and bobby socks. I shudder when I walk by limited too. Even though Gymboree is "spendy" (Minnesota terminology) it is worth it because their clothes are age appropriate.

Kelly

[SuzySunshine]

I foolishly hope that I can dress DD in gymboree forever. I love their peter pan collars and bobby socks. I shudder when I walk by limited too. Even though Gymboree is "spendy" (Minnesota terminology) it is worth it because their clothes are age appropriate.

Kelly

When I think about stuff like this I wish I was having a boy!

[rainbabies]

http://www.slate.com/id/2172705/pagenum/all/#page_start