preschool debate

[peggyfromwastate]

Luke (the 3 yo) is enrolled in a preschool starting in a couple of weeks. I am wondering if he should go at all. DH is, shockingly, no help. (do whatever you think is best...) Anyway, Luke is really super duper shy, and I am afraid that he will stand in a corner sucking his thumb the whole time. The preschool people tell me this is normal, and that the kids come out of it, but it takes Luke a long time...

So, I am just wondering if you think, anecdotally or hypothetically or otherwise, that a preschool situation would be helpful or harmful to get him more involved in a "structured" setting.

BTW, I just dropped off all my kids to school (DD to her middle school bus, and the twins to 1st grade!) and Luke just sat there looking forlorn-- Mommy I want to go to school! Mommy!!!

So it seems for me, damned if you do, damned if you don't...

[rainbabies]

no advice from me. we pulled ds last year as a 3yo for issues. he was crying (real cry) saying "the children scare me" and was super anti-social. i took him out after 3 weeks. ds is great at home and talks up a storm. at preschool last year...quiet, withdrawn, loner.

this year, i think he is more ready. he is a year older and well, he has to go IMO. he must learn to socialize before kindergarten. if you're not ready, dont do it. enjoy him at home and go for it next year. or, try it out and withdrawl him if you need to.

good luck!

I'd try it - especially since he's saying he wants to go.

And if it doesn't work at first there is nothing wrong with pulling him out and trying again next year. He's only three, he has the rest of his life for school.

and then what she said.

[houseelf]

Yes, a good preschool will allow your child to try it out for a couple of weeks and if it doesn't work out, they will tell you try again next year. This happened with about one child per year at DS's previous school. There is no right or wrong answer.

Kelly

3 year olds can be too young for preschool in my opinion. Maybe playgroups to ease him into socialization would be better. Both my DDs went to preschool at 3 and 4. They truly did not learn much more than I was teaching them at home.

[peggyfromwastate]

I never worry about them learning anything in preschool- but I would like him to go to get used to the structure element.

This is a good preschool and I talked to them about my concerns. I think that I will have him go for the first month, and then see how it goes. I already invested $200 in registration and last month's tuition, so...

I just hope it's not a nightmare for all!

[Meenah]

Good luck. I would also try it out and then if it doesn't work, pull him out.

[mommax3]

You might as well try it, Peggy, and see how it goes. All of mine went happily at younger ages than that, but it sounds like your guy has a different personality type. My middle son was a little more reluctant to go at first, and at the beginning of the year, I would sometimes call the preschool about an hour into his day and the director would go down and peek and tell me what he was doing. That eased my mind considerably, especially if he was unhappy when I left.

Sally

[peggyfromwastate]

We had a really bad experience with a Mother's Day Out program last year. He cried and screamed for essentially the whole time, and would not sit with the group, so one teacher *made* him sit on a chair the entire time. Then, when they dragged him outside to play, he didn't understand, stood crying the whole time, and finally decided it looked like fun and tried to join in, but their 30 minutes were up and so he got dragged somewhere else...

Anyway, I pulled him from the MDO program lickity split, and he was sooo happy to be out of there. Every time I said something about school he said "Mommy I don't want to go to school" for about 3 or 4 months after that. So it left quite an impression.... So now that he says he wants to go, I will try it, and just, follow his lead which is what I have to do with him.

I specifically asked this preschool program how they would handle this type of thing, and they said that they let the child decide when and how he's ready to participate. So if he stands in a corner sucking his thumb during the entire "circle time" that's OK with them- they said he'll get there eventually... This reassures me a bit.

[peggyfromwastate]

So today was his first real day- by himself. It was only 1.5 hours, but anyway. He cried on the way there for about 5 minutes, screaming, "I don't want to go to preschool!" And I kept telling him, calmly, that it was OK, that it would be alright, and that he was going. Then, when I could get a word in edgewise, I talked about the toys they had in a very matter-of-fact way, and eventually he was listening, not screaming... I prepped him for the drop off, where I couldn't go in the classroom, and told him that the teachers would have him wash his hands first thing, etc. So by the time we got there, he was still reluctant to go, but sort of... resigned. He trudged into the room, and sure enough his teacher said, "now it's time to wash your hands", and then I left.

So, the teacher said he was fine- didn't cry or anything. :stars: I'm sure that we will have some issues! But nonetheless I feel so relieved that he did ok!

I have Cesar Milan to thank for not turning the car around and going back home. (Cesar is The Dog Whisperer! ) Anyway, I tried to keep my anxiety from showing and just stayed "calm and assertive"... I guess I fooled Luke somewhat!

[GrayMatterWife]

So, the teacher said he was fine- didn't cry or anything. :stars: I'm sure that we will have some issues! But nonetheless I feel so relieved that he did ok!

I have Cesar Milan to thank for not turning the car around and going back home. (Cesar is The Dog Whisperer! ) Anyway, I tried to keep my anxiety from showing and just stayed "calm and assertive"... I guess I fooled Luke somewhat!

Peggy: That's AWESOME! I am so glad it went OK.